Hey all, I'd like to announce an entrance into this crazy world. Meet my new nephew Thomas Alden Burnett, born today at 11:06am, weighing in at 7lbs 9ounces 20.5 inches long. He was born at the Mayo Clinic way up there in Minnesota. They say he has black hair and is really hungry. Meet the challenger "Ed", a catfish I caught in Lake Lewisville, weighing in at 10lbs, 16 inches long, with fins that sting. You ever notice how fish proportions are equal to babies? I've never had kids, but I always get excited when I catch a big fish. I imagine having a kid feels the same, except you can't throw em back and kids tend to not like hooks in their mouths. What's cool about Thomas is he's got my middle name, born in the same state I was born, born 4 days after me, and likes to sleep. He's already off to a good start!

"Narrator: Aunt Clara had for years not only perpetually labored under the delusion that I was 4 years old, but also a girl.
Mr. Parker: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.
Mother: He does not!
Mr. Parker: He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!"
-- A Christmas Story