As a single guy I tend to peruse the match.com postings looking for that special girl. All I seem to find are big, pale, elementary school teachers who love to go fishing, go hiking, and watch and play football. If they love the outdoors how come on their pictures they are so pale? I think there might be something going on here... Whenever I go fishing I don't see a gaggle of single girls sitting at the pier. It's not like I'm really outdoorsy anyways, heck I'm a city boy. I also think there are a lot of hard-up teachers because I'd say 80% of the women I get matched up with are teachers. I know a ton of teachers and I can see why. They always seem to talk about their kids like they are really their kids; if your not a teacher you will become bored or even scared. Their after work activities seem to be at one or the other extreme. It's like they all have their cats and either stay home or are too wild and party every night. Then on their ads they're like "I like to go to sports bars, drink beer, watch football and scratch myself." I think I'm going to look for someone who says "I like to control the relationship. I tend to boss my man around. I will be treated like an equal but expect you to pay for everything. I am pale because I am afraid of spiders." Now that's honest. Maybe too honest? Hmmm, maybe it's better if we're lied to...

Thought of the day
"I am now telling the computer exactly what it can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate."
Willy Wonka