Well, seeing how tonight is my first date with a girl I met online, I figured I'd talk about the illustrius first date. Now I haven't that many first dates, but I have had a few. Most of the girls I have gone out with have been teachers. So what happens? They end up talking about their students, their projects, and their cats. And then I go to the door and always get a hug, never a kiss. I have by now written off the kiss on the first date. It is my belief that this is a myth perpetuated by high school guys to further their chances in "getting some". Although, I have seen some girls that would practically jump all over a guy if they found him "hot". They were probably the ones the high school guys actually convinced to get a first date kiss. My first dates are usually tame. Dinner and a movie, dinner and a comedy club, dinner and bowling come to mind. I still haven't mastered that dinner part. I am a very fast eater and will probably be done with my food before she even takes the first bite.  Another time I got the "death by chocalate" dessert and ended up spilling it on my pants. As you can see I'm very smooth. Alas, I've heard stories of my friends where the first dates were total disasters. One girl tried to belch the loudest and actually stole the silverware off of the table. "Jeff" had a date where the girl actually ate more than him. Another friends online date was nothing like her picture. Instead of a hot blonde he got a short, fat, mexican. So as I look at those dates I'm hoping that tonight can't be as bad as those. Wish me luck...

Thought of the Day
Navin R Johnson: You look so beautiful and peaceful, you almost look dead. And I'm glad, because there's something I want to say that's always been very difficult for me to say. [pause] "I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit." There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.
--- The Jerk