"Sprinter, Age 100, Beat the Fastest Time, but Foiled by Malfunctioning Clock", "Man arrested after stealing 9-year-old boy's socks, has 500 pairs at home" , "French-only guide dog allowed at college, refuses to learn English", "Police Mistake Sculptures for Suspect, Dead Bodies"

I just love offbeat news. That's real news. I can only picture a 100 year old man running a race to be the fastest 100 year old and then hearing the judge say,"You're gonna have to do it again, our clock is broke." Or I can oddly picture a man jumping into a bed filled with pairs of boys socks and he says to himself,"Hmmm, not comfy enough, I think I need just one more pair." See, these stories are ones that make the reader ask more questions. They are so unbelievable they become real entertainment, that's what reality tv should've become. I mean, it's not very entertaining to picture a real news story - "Terror Alert Raised To Orange" What kind of story is that? I guess the more red it get's we're supposed to become more fearful, picture ourselves turning red? Eh, I rather hear about how a person who speaks commands to his dog in French gets kicked out of school because it's English only. I can picture him trying to teach him English,"Wee? Yes. Yes. Wee? No..." "Bark" Or I can see a dark park, police find what appears to be dead bodies on the ground. They walk over and feel no pulse. They then see a standing shadow. They scream at a statue "Get your hands up! I said get your hands up, or we're gonna shoot." bang bang bang... the bullet pings off the statue with the police going "Oh my goodness, we just shot a statue, shh don't tell anyone..."

Thought of the day
Cadet Carey Mahoney: Why do you wanna be a cop?
Cadet Karen Thompson: I like to dress like a man.
Cadet Carey Mahoney: Me too.
-- Police Academy