Last night marked the much anticipated return of Football! As a huge
Dallas Cowboys fan I can tell you this is my favorite time of year. In
my world the statistics are unbelievable. Did you know that Dallas has
won every single super bowl? I know, I know, they always like to
pretend a different team wins the super bowl - but I know different.
Also, did you know that every Dallas Cowboy is hall-of-fame material.
Troy Aikmen was the Greatest Quarterback ever, soon to be followed by
Testaverde. Emmit Smith - the greatest running back, is soon to be
followed by Julius Jones. Even when the Cowboys supposedly went 1-15
they won the super bowl. I really know that they go 16-0 every year,
the media just doesn't want you to know it. It would seem unfair to
the other teams. I'm really glad I live in Dallas, the greatest city
in the world and can see America's team any time I choose. I usually
watch it on TV though - just to see the distortions. Now if that isn't
blind loyalty I don't know what is. lol.

Thought of the Day
"If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to
be right."
- Jerry, to George, in "The Opposite"

Well, this weekend was pretty good. I jammed with some friends and saw
a concert (Deep Purple, Joe Satriani, Thin Lizzy). I was really there
because Joe Satriani is a guitar legend. The other bands were 50 year
old rockers with long hair reliving the 80s. In the latest offbeat
news August 26th was the anniversary of Toilet Paper. It was actually
celebrated in some nursing homes across the country with cake and ice
cream, and the obligatory trips to the bathroom. They say it was
invented August 26th in the year 580. How on earth the researchers
found that one out I will never know. Somebody who had a fetish for
paper must've invented it and wrote about it on paper. Eww. In other
news, at London's Modern Art Gallery a janitor threw out a bag of
garbage that was part of an art exhibit. I believe this is news
because garbage is not art, not because a janitor threw it out. I can
just see art lovers coming in on Monday to look at the exhibit. "You
know there is something missing in this piece over here, aha I know
what it is, it needs a big bag a trash." This just in - my cupboard
where I keep my trash has now been deemed art. Please do not take the
trash out as it is now priceless.

Thought of the Day
"Oh no! The letter! Newman! It's got exclamation points all over it!"
"Not to mention the picture of him on the toilet."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Sniffing Accountant"

Last night I watched an old classic "Wargames". As I was doing so I
realized that 80% of my DVDs(over 400 of em) were done in the 80s. I
guess that's cause I was a kid then and that's when watched the most
movies. But really I think it is because the 90s had bad movies. Take
computer/video game movies for example. "Wargames","TRON","Short
Circuit", "DARYL", "Explorers", "Cloak and Dagger", "Lawnmower Man"
were all good computer movies done in the 80's. That's one reason why
alot of programmers are around my age. We dream of a time when we can
control the world's Thermonuclear War simulations with just a PC. As
a computer guy I can tell you that half of the stuff going on in
Wargames was impossible back then and half of that half is impossible
now. The 90's computer movies saw more of a fear of computers - "The
Matrix", "Hackers", and other movies that use a "Virus" to bring down
the world's computers. At least in Wargames they use an algorithm to
bring down the computer as opposed to a virus. Although the computer
catching on fire was a little unbelievable. The "Computer Virus" is
way overused in Hollywood. The funniest use of them was in
"Independence Day" when Jeff Goldblum suddenly knows how the operating
system of alien spaceships work and destroys the spaceships by
uploading a virus. I still laugh at that. It is completely impossible.
It'd be like expecting to blow up a house by ringing the doorbell. I
also wonder about how a computer nerd in Wargames gets a hot chick
like Alley Sheedy to be amazed at his computer prowess. Yeah right. I
have tons of girls looking at my screen when I'm programming. LOL.

Thought of the Day
WOPR - "An interesting game. The only way to win is not to play."
Wargames

Ok, have you ever seen a horse fly? How about poo fly? Apparently the
Dave Mathews band decided to empty their tour bus's waste when it had
stopped on a bridge over a river. Tourists who were on a tour boat
below learning about New York look up and, well, they get poo'd on.
Can you imagine, you're looking at the Statue of Liberty and all of
the sudden 800 pounds of poo rains down on you. I would've been
bathing in Lysol for a couple of days. I do believe they are being
sued. In other potty humor a man near the Montana border got arrested
for clogging up a toilet when nature called. To quote : "I can't
believe I got arrested for taking a dump." Now lawyers are in on this.
I can just imagine the potty humor in court. "A man's poo is not part
of the man once it leaves him." "To judge a poo by it's size is
discrimination" "Those toilet pipes are way to small for people in
Montana" "He was just trying to take the kids to the lake, who knew
the kids would be 200 pounds"

Thought of the Day
"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint
-- it's delicious!"
- Kramer, in "The Junior Mints

Has anyone else noticed that this seems to be the year of the cat?
What with a new Garfield movie, the character Puss'n Boots on Shrek
and now the grand opening of the Meow Mix Cafe. I think this is a
kitty year. Yes, the cat restaurant does serve cats, but not for
dinner. They bring them their dinner. Apparently cat owners in New
York needed a place to take their cats for dinner, so the Meow Mix
Cafe was born. I guess they serve people too, but I heard it is
frowned upon. You know those single girls I was talking about with
their cats. Now they don't even need a date, they can actually take
their cats. My question is: how do they keep the cats still enough not
to run away? We used to have a cat and she would eat whenever she felt
like it, not when we wanted her to eat. Maybe they sit there for hours
in the hopes that the cats will suddenly become socially acceptable
and eat with the humans. I was reading that for the grand opening they
dressed them in little kitty tuxedos and such. Now that's got to be
uncomfortable and really pretty dumb. If I was a cat and my owner
dressed me up I would have evil cat thoughts about scratching my
master. There's two rules to the Meow Mix Cafe - no dogs and no
catnip. I guess the catnip would make the other cats jealous. It's
kind of like cocaine for kitties. Once they are hooked there's no
getting off it. It's a sad day for kitties everywhere. Now they have
to lose their catnip, get dressed up to eat, and be humiliated by
their owners in public. Garfield would have one thing to say about
that - "Rowr."

Thought of the Day
"That's it Farfel. Party's over! Start packing up your little squeeze
toys, buddy boy. You're checking out!"
- Jerry, in "The Dog"

In the latest offbeat news Ellen Degeneras is expected to take over
George Burns role in a remake of "Oh God" - the 1977 movie starring
John Denver. Hmm, of course, it all make sense. I really don't have to
say anything about this. It speaks for itself. Oh, why not. There is
no earthly way Ellen can ever play George Burns let alone God. She is
missing some required equipment - like a cigar. We all know she has
come out of the closet, that's no secret, what we don't know is why
she thinks she is funny. Maybe it's just her voice. For me it ranks
pretty close to Gilbert Godfrey on the annoying level. I get the
feeling she wants me to do push ups and bear crawls when she talks
(she sounds like a gym coach). I also get the feeling she sits around
a table and talks about ways to destroy men. Playing God would be one
way. But really it's George Burns I feel sorry for. God can definitely
take care of Himself, but George is no longer able to defend himself..
It's like the old playground mentality. Hey George, you could get beat
by a women. Now if George is in heaven and can do something we might
have to change the weather forecast in Hollywierd for the filming.
Rampant lightning strikes and earthquakes could occur.

Thought of the Day
Jerry,"Pastor, I have a feeling Holden has switched to Judaism just
for the jokes."
Pastor ," And this offends you as a Jew?"
Jerry, "No, this offends me as a comedian."
-- Seinfeld

This weekend I partied with my bandmates and went back to Wichita to
give out media packages for a show we are planning there. On Sunday I
settled down to watch movies. Whenever I watch a group of movies I
tend to make them related somehow. This weekend I watched Forrest Gump
and Volunteers. (Tom Hanks). It got me thinking about his Academy
Awards speeches. I remember when he got an award for the AIDS movie
how his cause was AIDS and when he got an award for the Green Mile his
cause was slavery and I think when he got an award for Saving Private
Ryan his cause was WWII. It's like that with most people in Hollywood.
I think the guy who did that movie with the red coat - Snyder's List
- cause was the Holocaust. Later on to be followed by another cause.
Not only do Actors and Actresses have a cause for a movie, sometimes
they have a girlfriend or a wife -- for just the length of the movie.
Maybe it's all written in a contract whenever they sign on for the
movie. I can just picture Keanu Reeves looking over a contract
"One relationship with Britney Spears (marriage optional followed by
divorce), the cause will be flood victims, the color of the ribbon
will be purple, the car will be a Mercedes and the soda will be
Sprite."
He'll look it over and say ,"OK where do I sign - and can I get
Britney in my trailer right now." That's why we all laugh at people in
Hollyweird. Their accomplishments seem nothing short of a movie
obligation.

Thought of the Day
Warlord - "Money is opium, opium is money, money is power, opium is power"
Tom Hanks - "I thought money was power, what was opium again?"
-- Volunteers

I was watching an old 80's movie last night called "Ruthless People"
and one thing I noticed was the elusive montage. I think the 80s was
the decade of the montage. It brought me closer to realizing exactly
what the montage is and its purpose. There seems to be 3 types of
montages. The first is just music playing while the characters are doing
stuff over time. The second is when a character presses play on a tape
recorder and then the montage begins -- making it seem like they have
been listening to the same song for hours --- because it can end when
the character presses stop on the tape recorder. The third is all of
the second montage plus dancing and sometimes singing along. Take
"Footloose" for example. That barn montage scene made it look like
they had been listening to the song "I need a hero" and dancing to it
for over 2 hours. The one in Ruthless People had a montage which
included 80's keyboard and a bunch of homeless people in the alleys -
which had absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I really can't
picture them listening to that type of music, which I guess is what
really makes it funny. For instance, if I had a montage done of me
while working I definitely would not want "Boot Scoot Boogie" as the
theme song. "Summer Rental" had a montage in which they paint a boat
listening to the same song in enough time it takes to paint a boat.
The 80's had tons of montages. Even in TV shows whenever someone had
to do a lot of work, there was a montage. "Breakfast Club" had a
montage where they were all high and dancing and Emilio Estevez does a
bunch of flips and climbs on the stairs. And yet I think to myself, in
real life if we were to suddenly hear music while we were working or
playing we would not be dancing and maybe not even working. We'd just
be listening. I just need some theme music and then I can get a
montage of me working. I'll make a video and show it to my boss. See
I'm working, there's music...

Thought of the Day
Freddy Shoop: I remember you. Where ya been?
Student: Bathroom.
Freddy Shoop: Six weeks?
Student: My zipper got stuck.
-- Summer School

It's still a tropical forest out there. This has got to be one of the
mildest summers in Texas's history. The average high for this summer
is in the 80's. Wow. And it seems to rain all of the time. Now that
I'm on a new route I've discovered something about driving to work in
Dallas traffic. It doubles the time. Today it took me an hour whereas
normally it takes me 30-40 minutes. So what is one to do in the car
for an hour? Listen to the radio, turn the air off and on, adjust the
speed of the wipers, adjust the defroster and of course drive. Now in
Wichita Falls we should be coming up on our local "Hotter 'n Hell"
bicycle race. Usually its in the 100s and it is hot. I think this year
we should rename it. Call it "Wetter than Water" or "Slicker than
Willy". I remember working at the medical tent one year at the 50
mile marker. People would be all mangled like they hit a car or
something.
We put band-aids on them, gave them food and water, and then if their
bike was working they'd go back out. What I remember most though is
the Hardees Cookies they were giving out. I couldn't help but stare as
I was eating my cookies and offering them to the mangled riders. "Want
a cookie", I would say and they would look at me like I was crazy.
"Cookie?" I think Hardees had to find a way to promote with the rouse
of helping them. I wondered why they wouldn't take em. So while these
riders were racing the "Hotter than Hell" race, I was running my own
little race. I called it "Reducing Inventory". Really it should've
been "Fatter than Whale". Oh well, it was fun to watch others expend
energy, it just made me hungry.

Thought of the Day
Peetey: "They said - Oh look, he's very healthy. Yes, very healthy."
Me: "To me - or maybe he's just Hefty. Yup wears Hefty jeans."

Did you hear they actually made a film about the nation's top scrabble
players. It's called "Word Wars". It is another documentary on the
trials and tribulations of the obsessive compulsive made by the
obsessive compulsive. Apparently we have given up on entertainment.
Why don't we make a film on people who wash their hands all the time.
We'll call it "Washies" or "Wash Wars" and make millions. How about a
film on the effects of leaving a box in the sunlight for a year. They
can film my backyard and call it "Boxing the Sun." How about a reality
show by Trump called "Who wants to be my janitor" or a reality TV show
about the library. We'll call it "Shhhhhh." At the end of the show a
reader will get voted out of the library. You get immunity by reading
the fastest or reading the most books. Come on people, are we really
that starved for entertainment. The one thing that TIVO has taught me
is that we don't have to take it anymore. We can record our favorite
show at 2 in the morning and watch it on prime time when "Shhhhhh" is
on.

Thought of the Day
Wonka: "There's no way in which of knowing"
Salt: "he's singing"
Wonka: "Of which direction we are going. Is it raining, is it snowing,
is a hurricane a blowing?"
-- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Well, this weekend was pretty fun. I went to a party on Friday and saw
the band "The Cure" on Saturday. I wasn't a big fan, but a friend had
tickets. I was able to recognize about half of their songs. They were
better than expected. I got a supposed hook-me-up on Friday at lunch.
Turned out the women had a boyfriend. Then on Friday night I was
connecting with a women for 3 hours and at the end of the evening I
got a good sign that she wanted to continue and what do I say? What
suave thing do I think of? I say,"What was your name again?" Now that
caught her off guard. She told me her name and said "I guess I'll see
you next time with so-and-so" This time I at least know what I said.
I'm like Chris Farley, "stupid, stupid" as I slap my forehead. On
Saturday at the cure concert I was surrounded by my player friends.
Whereas I am a catfish fisherman - I throw my bait in the water and
hope a fish gets it. These guys are fly fishermen. Always throwing it
out and taking it back. I think I counted about 20 "Hey baby what's
happening" "Wo, your fine" and other such remarks in the time it took
to get from the car to the concert. They usually get one hook, but
it's always a little fish I would throw back. I think I could learn
something from them though. Maybe reel it in and cast it out more
times. Or maybe I should change my bait.

Thought of the Day
Grandma: "Dong, where's grandpa's automobile?"
Long Duck Dong: "Auuutomobile? Auuutomobile? Vroom, Screech, Auuggh,
Splash. Lake, Big Lake."
-- Sixteen Candles

Yesterday turned out to be what I call "Ghetto Appreciation Day" or
GAD for short. I tend to watch movies on the cable movie channels just
so I can say I get what I pay for. Yesterday saw the rise of two
movies - "The Principal" and "I don't know the title". The principal
starred Jim Belushi - the only white man as a principal in charge of a
ghetto school. Ah, that took me back to my ghetto roots when I went to
Rider High School. Drugs, guns, bullies, knives are all a part of
today's inner city yutes. As part of GAD I appreciate the fact that I
am not bullied, tall-jocked and knived when I walk in the Dallas
ghetto to the clubs to play a show. I might get hassled, but I usually
give em a buck to go away - it actually works. The other movie "I
don't know the title" was about a high school yute living on welfare
trying to make it in the rap world. It really brought home how rap
music is really the only hope for millions of kids. They don't want an
education, they want to rhyme, and not do time, an sound like sublime,
no that's before their time. Not that I'm making fun of yutes, I'm
making fun of rap. I guess I shouldn't, ah but GAD is over. It
happened and no one was aware. Which is appropriate since the stuff
going on in the ghetto no one is really aware of, except for commie
movie writers. LOL

Thought of the Day
"It's not in the cock-a-doody movie!"
-- Misery

If you've ever watched the old movie "Jurassic Park" then you know
that they would talk about the chaos theory quite often. That's the
theory that somehow everything is related and it's not really chaos.
It's the one that says if a butterfly flaps his wings in Japan it'll
rain in America. Now, from a legal standpoint I am wondering if such
is the case, can butterflies be blamed for flooding? If the intent was
to make it sprinkle and it floods should the butterfly be held
responsible? Why am I spouting off such nonsense? I was thinking about
the latest virus writer who might face 2-10 years in jail. Some
teenager in Minnesota plead guilty for creating the blaster worm. The
effects of the worm crippled computer systems and caused millions of
dollars in damages. But, those were the effects. The intent of the
worm was to spread and attack windows update. The computer damages are
not really damages at all. All a system admin has to do is to reformat
the hard drive and reinstall the OS. What they are calling damages is
lost time for system admins, whose sole job is to keep the system
running - meaning it is not lost time at all. I suppose because the
virus was good at spreading the writer will go to jail. Sometimes I
wonder though, if corporate America was able to get rid of all the
virus writers what would happen to the anti-virus software writers.
Can one exist without the other? Or will it just rain.

Thought of the day
"I'd like to better know ya buffree"
-- Wierd Science (edited version)

In the world of computers there are a couple of milestones that
everyone waits for. One of those milestones came to pass last week
with the release of Doom 3. A video game that took over 4 years in the
making. As a player I keep track of all of the latest happenings in
the video game world. For instance, Star Wars Galaxies is coming out
with a space expansion in November. Star Wars Battlefront is also
coming out around that time period. Half-Life 2 is also supposedly
coming out at the end of the year. It has been delayed about 5 times
so far. You might think - wow, this guy plays alot of video games. I
wish. Apparently I have a short attention span. I play a game for a
couple of days, maybe a week if it is stellar and then I forget about
it. Reasons I quit - they're too hard, I don't have the time, and on
line gaming has people who are too good. I know what it is. They are
college kids with alot of time on their hands. Apparently there is a
whole bunch of college kids who do nothing but play video games all
day. I remember I got on XBox live one time and tried to play
football. XBox Live has a microphone that lets you talk to other
players. Apparently I was right, they are all teenagers and college
students playing these games, and they are very rude too. I mean, Doom
3 came out last week and I jump into a multi player game and keep on
getting killed. They have already evolved in super-gamers in the time
span of one week. I think I'll just play solitaire from now on.

Thought of the Day
Han: "Wookies are know to pull peoples arms out of their sockets"
C3P0: "I suggest a new strategy. Let the wookie win."
--Star Wars (I hope I didn't butcher the quote)

This weekend was packed full of Corporate Red goodness. We had a bad show on Friday and a good show on Saturday. On Sunday I saw the movie "Swimfan" about a women that goes psycho over a guy. I seem to remember a couple of years ago on the internet a guy put up a site called psychoexgirlfriend.com. Apparently this fellow in Houston broke up with his girlfriend after 6 months. She then proceeded to leave over 100 messages on his answering machine. Of course he had to put all of the messages on the internet, that's what the internet's for. One message will go "I hate you, you are a very bad man." The very next message "I have a new boyfriend, I'm over you" and then another message "I broke up with him because we need to be together" It's kinda scary to think that girls out there obsess over their ex's. I only obsess a day, then I either hate em or leave em. I have yet to have a psycho ex girlfriend. I am not sure what I would do with one. The internet thing is a good idea. Maybe test em to see how far they go. Like call them and hang up everytime they call you and hang up. Or better yet, tell on em. Find out her parents phone and leave her recorded messages on their answering machine. That'd be funny "Hey Joanna, listen to what our daughter left on our machine -- " "I am going to do myself in if you don't kiss me, okay, fine, its over. Wait, I didn't mean that." It all takes me back to "Wayne's World" when his psycho ex-girlfriend got him a gun rack as a present.

Thought of the Day
Wayne: "I don't own any guns to necessitate owning a gun rack."
-- Waynes World

Part of being at a new job is developing a routine. The very first routine is getting that route to work down. So far I have figured out 10 different routes to take to work. You would think that mapquest would be able to give me the best route, but it does not take into account Dallas traffic, or the stupidity of Dallas drivers. I call it Stupid Dallas Driver Disease or SDDD for short. Symptoms include: one handed driving on a cell phone, not letting drivers in, driving so fast you have to swerve to slow down, driving on the curb to get past traffic and handicapped/old drivers who go too slow. You would think I have this disease since I got a ticket, but really that was Stupid Cop Disease or SCD. It's like we're all frustrated in the morning. No one wants to drive 5 mph for 45 minutes. I think the real solution to the gas crisis is evident - don't drive to work. I mean, we have remote desktops, teleconferencing, cell phones, fax machines, shared network computers, VPN and even massively multiplayer gaming. Why not massively multiplayer working? Give it ten years. I predict a radical change in work environments. I can see gas prices hit that supply/demand point where the price becomes sky high, technology improves, and employers see a cost benifit. Anyway, I'm rambling...

Thought of the Day
"Snozwangers, Vernicious Knids, What kind of nonsense is that?"
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."
-- Willy Wonka

As you probably know, today was my first day at a new company. Being a verteran of first days I can tell you this was a pretty good day. Some companies make me setup my own computer, which is usually a big hassle. Today my computer was already setup and ready for me to work. Some companies don't introduce you to the company. Today I met about 60 people. I can only remember 3. It really takes me 12 times to hear your name until I can get to know you. It is definately a corporate environment. I'm used to the off-the-cuff up style of small companies (by not really knowing what is going on). I got there a little late, because traffic is now thicker. It took me 45 minutes in rush hour(what fun!) Everyone is nice. However, this job is an exact duplicate of the job in "Office Space" complete with a person who plays the radio during certain times of day. What is sad is I may actually be Lumburgh. I walked into a cube today and said "What's happenin, hey can I get that requirements doc from you, that'd be great" Egad, all I need to do is to start drinking coffee and my life will be complete.

Thought of the day
Bill Lumbergh: Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?
Milton Waddams: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...
-- Office Space

I have added a new section to this site called "Photo Gallery". In it are some of the best pictures I have taken over the past 6 years. Enjoy. Let me know if you like any of them, I might have a larger resolution one if you want it.

Having time off is great. It gives me a chance to notice those little things that I take for granted. For instance, my maid actually organizes all of my receipts that she finds in my pockets when she does my clothes. I also notice how quick the lawn mowers take when they come to mow - 15 minutes. I guess it's cause I have a small yard. My house also tends to heat up in the afternoon even though the air conditioner stays on the same temperature. I also notice how I have the same kinds of food in my refrigerator as I have had in the past 6 years - cheese, Bologna, hot dogs, sprite,v8, tv dinners, orange juice and pepperoni. If I was thin, I'd patent it as a diet. I'm still trying to figure out how long you can keep food until it goes bad. I have tv dinners in my freezer that have been there for over a year. Somehow ice has gotten in the box. If I thaw them out are they still good? TV dinners really don't have an expiration date on them as well as pudding and ice cream bars. I kinda feel sorry for the women that I end up with. If she cooks she'll be pretty frustrated.

Thought of the day
"Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo."
-- Fletch

I saw the new film "The Villiage" on Saturday. I'd give it 3 out 5 stars. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so smart. I had a theory five minutes into the movie and about halfway through it was verified. Thus, the ending was not a surprise and it didn't have the impact the director intended. All in all it was a good story. Hollywood has been running out of ideas for years so this was kind of refreshing. You know the guy who was in Signs and Gladiator, he was in The Village. I always that his harelip was just makeup, but instead it is real, and not a harelip, but a scar. Another thought - why is it that movies that take place in the 1800s or earlier don't have people with bad teeth? I've seen pictures of the 1800s and the people tended to wear multiple layers of clothes, have bad teeth, long facial hair, and all wore the same color of clothes. I'm guessing most of the clothing material came from the same place and the only store to get clothes was Sears. When you think about it, the more you know about the time period, the higher your suspension of disbelief has to be in order for the movie to be real. So if you want to enjoy hollywood history films, don't learn about history.

Thought of the day
Nick Rivers:I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a girl he met in a restaurant, who then turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to a childhood lover who she's last seen on a deserted island, and who turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French Underground.
Hillary Flammond:I know. It, it all sounds like some bad movie.
-- Top Secret