In the latest british news 10,000 people were studied and it was
concluded that single people die sooner than married people.
Apparently being single takes years off a person's life. As does
smoking, skydiving, policework and being in a band. Well, since I am
single and I am in a band, I can only conclude that I have little
years left. Once I hit the big 30 I might as well take up smoking and
skydiving, become a cop and see which one kills me first. There is one
thing that makes sense in this study. They say that it is the poor
diet of single people that probably does them in. I can see that. I
eat Spaghetti-Os for lunch and pizza or hamburgers for dinner.
However, it is mighty tasty. Now I guess married couples eat better
because the odds are higher that someone knows how to cook and they
can watch what each other eats and say "tssk, tssk" if it is bad.
However, I don't know if I can eat the stuff that most people eat;
even if I was married I would eat the same. So that can't be it.
Maybe single people die earlier because they don't have someone to
call 911 if they have a heart attack. Or maybe it's because when we
are sick we usually go to work anyways. I am waiting for the study
that says single people have more fun. That would justify it all.

Thought of the Day
"I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."
"Really?"
"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're
kids. We're not men."
"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"
"Yes, we did."
"Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."
"There isn't?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage?
Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get
up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there.
It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright
if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV
while you're eating."
"I can?"
"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you
do at dinner?"
"What?"
"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good
day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I
don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"
"Boy."
"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."
"I'm glad we had this talk."
"Oh, you have no idea."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Engagement"