So there I was, a young strapping lad at the age of 22, working nights at the local convienence store, Eagle Mart, to make ends meet. Aside from the fact that I was working from 11pm to 7am in the morning, and aside from the fact that there was no security system, I was all alone in that store and I loved it. One thing that bothered me though was all of the customers. A couple of times I got robbed(kids stealing beer). The first time a 12 year old boy took a whole case of beer and ran out the door. I then proceeded to run after him and he fell and I grabbed his shoe. He dropped a 12 pack and then got up and proceeded to run faster than any man has ever ran. He ran across a field and jumped in the back of gang's car. I could've been shot, but at least I saved the beer. I called the police, but I was freaked out a little. I couldn't believe someone would actually steal something, I couldn't fathom why. The next incident happened when some friends came in to talk to me. All of a sudden behind them runs this teenager with a case of beer. That time I decided not to run after them and proceeded to call the police. But none of those stories matches the phone call I got at 1am. I pick up the phone and there is this old man on the other end that sounds like my grandpa. He said he works at an adoption agency in Oklahoma and drove by and noticed I had the right build that they were looking for and that my genes were in high demand. He then proceeds to tell me that could buy my testicles for $75,000 each. He talks about the medical procedure and goes into great detail about freezing my seed so I can have children when I want to. He then talks about the replacement ones and how the "other guys in the shower won't be able to tell the difference". Keep in mind, this guy sounds like my grandpa. I actually thought this was a legitimate thing. After a long conversation of me asking questions like, "Will my voice change?" I hung up and told him I would consider it and can he call me back the next day. After the phone call all I could do was think about me, a lowly college student, getting $150,000 for my balls. I was like, wow, I can't believe this is happening, imagine all of the stuff I could buy. The next day I told my friend peetey about it. He was like,"Cut them puppies off!". When I told my mom about it she was like,"No WAY! You are not cutting your balls off." I guess that nipped that in the bud. The guy never called back anyways. About a year later an article appeared in the Wichita Falls paper. Apparently this old man had been caught and he had done the same thing to convienence store workers across the city. I can just imagine all of the conversations and debates that raged in their households. To cut or not to cut, that is the question. Would you sell yours?

Thought of the Day
"I've been reviewing Darren's internship journal. Doing laundry, mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman?"
"Well, it all sounds pretty glamourous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica."
"Far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken."
- Dean Jones and Kramer, in "The Voice"