Today I'd like to talk about a disease that is not widely know but should be. It afflicts millions of drivers every year and is known as Road Rage's Little Brother. That disease is called Road Sarcasm. I experienced a bout with that this morning. As I was driving to work I was cut off 3 times and then the drivers in front of me proceeded to slow down. Road sarcasm is for repressed white middle Americans who need find other ways of venting anger than road rage. Such comments could be heard flying from my car like "I was just thinking to myself, I need someone to pull out in front of me." and "Man you are driving like a bat out of hell, you need to slow down" and "I wonder if you could go slower, it's not like I need to get anywhere." and "I always wanted someone who could pull out in front me, I think you're the one." and the always witty,"Thank you, thank you so much, what was I thinking, driving the speed limit like that." Road sarcasm is caused by pent up road rage. First a driver will do something stupid like pull out in front of the infected driver and slow down. The infected driver will then experience a slight bout of internal road rage. Being a repressed white middle American the only thing left to do is to use sarcasm to alleviate the tension. It does work, but unfortunately no one else knows of this affliction. Road sarcasm can be fatal if there is someone else in the car who doesn't get it. "Go Slower?? Are you crazy??" can be heard by passengers listening to such a diatribe. The only way to alleviate this disease unfortunately is an act of congress, requiring all drivers to be repressed white middle Americans, and that will never happen. Road sarcasm is a serious disease that affects us all. Blogger sarcasm, well that's another story.

Thought of the Day
"Hot dog?"
"No thanks. I'm watching my weight."
"Oh. I'm watching my height. My doctor doesn't want me to get any taller."
- Jerry and Miss Rhode Island, in "The Chaperone"