I sometimes like to peruse my old posts and reminisce about what this blog has become. One of the things most bloggers do is to pull a news story off of the net and talk about them. It gives their site higher standings in the search engines. So here are my top ten posts from the past year as I pull links off of my site.

1. Planes, Trams, and Automobiles - This is a classic that I still laugh at to this day. Mom actually printed it out and sent it to all the relatives.

2. Ceaser? - I still get hits to this day on this post. I think I must've spelled something wrong for people to actually hit this post. Plus it was the birthday of my nephew.

3. Look to the Cookie - Ah, the comments about the girl I was dating who found my weblog and then proceeded to lambaste me

4. The Great Hair tragedy of 2004 - I am still recoiling at how I looked like a big red tennis ball.

5. Montage Madness - I still get hits about this one. Apparently people really want to know why Ruthless People had a homeless montage

6. General Grievous is like Captain Obvious - This is the post that gets hit a lot, I figured it out why. It's because I spell Greivous wrong.

7. King Father of Farts - This post always has me laughing, but when I was in the car I was gagging.

8. Bassdance - This always reminds me of how cool I thought I was in Junior High

9. The Great Food List - These rules never change and they are useful to people who will cook for me.

10. Laziness is a Virtue - This post is the philosophy of laziness. Yet I took the time to write it...

I can't believe I've been doing this for over a year now. It has been fun. I enjoy thinking of things to write and putting them down. I've learned not to talk about girls I'm dating, I learned not to talk about politics. I even added a misc section that talks about my religious views, a resume section that lets employer's know I'm out there and a music section. Most of those sections I haven't updated in a while. I'd say recently about 80% of my visitors have been coming in from Yahoo with weird search terms. I wonder if I ever retain of them? Even though I call it "Humor" most of it isn't that funny. But what do you expect from a software engineer? I sometimes get hits from people expecting some Robin Williams type comedy. So here goes -

Thought of the Day
"Nanoo Nanoo" - Mork from Ork

Hmm, what to talk about today. I think I was on a sugar high yesterday and thus the disjointed thoughts. My thoughts today are about how thankful I am to be leaving this job. To top it off the project that I have been working on the past 9 months has been cancelled. If I was not going to another job I would've been very mad and would've definitely started looking for another job. The people who are currently on the project are going to be moved off onto maintenance work which is the equivalent of giving up on innovation IMO. One year ago I was burnt out on coding, having spent the whole 4th of July weekend coding. I remember watching the fireworks on the Internet as I was programming. I even counted the number of "if" statements I would type in my life and it turned out to be 184,000. That is why my new language doesn't have the word "if" in it. By this time last year I had finished 2 separate projects delivered on-budget and on-time and had kudos from all my superiors. This year I've been twiddling my thumbs in la-la land waiting for the go ahead to code while I've been writing cute little word documents and PowerPoint presentations. One year later I am ready to get back into it. I think I learned a lesson this past year that I am meant to be a developer. Anyway, here at the IRS their motto seems to be - "give me money and I'll do anything except deliver so you have to give me more money so I can deliver." It's a never-ending cycle of funding for projects that never see the light of day. The regular employees are unionized and put up so many roadblocks that they will have jobs for the rest of their lives. Meanwhile the contractors just stop at the roadblocks and wheel and deal and produce documentation for the rest of their lives. It is a sad state of affairs with nothing getting done. I used to not like being in a cube alone and was unhappy and wanted an office. I will now be so grateful for being a cube alone. It all seems to be a matter of perspective. If you know how bad things can get you definitely will feel better about your situation. Anyway, yesterday as they announced the re-org I was thinking to myself "I could give em a piece of my mind and they can't do anything." But then I thought, "Nope, I'd be just like them." So I just looked around the room and smiled.

Thought of the Day
"Isn't there like a statue of limitations on that?"
"Statute."
"What?"
"Statute of limitations. It's not a statue."
"No, it's statue."
"Fine, it's a sculpture of limitations."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Cafe"

It's in the hundreds again. I can't believe my weblog is over a year old. I've had cake and ice cream for 5 days in one week. The homeless even had wedding cake this week. My band didn't practice on Friday. I saw the movie "Bewitched" it was good. Will Farrel is pretty funny. I saw the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off on Saturday. I used to watch that movie when I skipped school in High School. I saw the movie D.A.R.Y.L. on Sunday. When I was a kid I wanted to have a computer brain as a result. Yesterday was my Sunday School birthday at Bennigan's. I think my diet is fading into oblivion. I saw a water main bust this afternoon and it looked like a waterfall. I also saw a guy sleeping in his car stopped at a green light. I've seen more cops in the past 5 days than ever, except for that one manhunt in Oklahoma. I think my last day here will be Thursday or Friday. I am going to a Christian concert at South fork Ranch on Saturday. I am not sure if I am going to have a party or not on Sunday. I start my new job on Tuesday. I just got back from eating a Pakookie at BJ's for lunch. A Pakookie is heated cookie dough with ice cream. YUMMM. And those are my disjointed thoughts. Any Questions?

Thought of the Day
"Who steals prescription glasses?"
"You don't have an old pair?"
"I broke 'em playing basketball."
"He was running from a bee."
- George, Elaine and Jerry, in "The Glasses"

Wow, gas prices are getting even higher. The way I see it, someone who comes up with an affordable solution will be a very rich man. I came up with the Flintstone Car last year but that didn't seem to catch on. I'll think I'll come up with another idea. Here it is - this idea will change the world. How about a global chauffeur service? How much does a tank cost a week? Probably $25 to $35 and it is used mostly to go back and forth to work. What if there was a website you could go to where people could find neighbors that worked near the same location? You could arrange a group of 4 people to share the drive to work. That way you would only have to drive to work 1 day a week, thus saving gas. But it wouldn't be just for work. It could be for things like sporting events, church, concerts and movies. Hmm, the business model would be good. Eh, it'll never work. Joe from accounting is not going to want to go to work with Bob the waiter from across the street. But, if gas prices go higher that might just work.

Thought of the Day
Sandy MacReedy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course.
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy MacReedy: Gophers! You great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even have to have a reason.
-- Caddyshack

Edumacation. That's what is needed. Did you know that all of the major sites out there put "tracking" files on your computer? Microsoft, Amazon, EBay and all of the others do that. Then the ad sites put their tracking files on your computer as well. And this is all at a minimum. Reality is that most sites that have lots of pop-ups end up trying to put spy software on your computer. Did you also know that by just being online you are exposing your computer without even opening an email or going to a website. Most internet users are really unaware of how much information they give out. Do you ever notice that even though you have internet explorer that blocks pop-ups you still get pop-up windows? This could mean you have something called "Ad-Ware". Basically it is a separate program that downloads ads to your computer and also can track what you are surfing to. If you internet is going slower than normal you might have something called a "Trojan Horse" that allows people over the internet to access your computer. So here are some programs to download to make sure your computer is protected:

1. Get an anti-virus program and update it. This is a must. Get one that does real-time monitoring. It makes a big difference. I use Norton Anti-virus with Norton Internet Security and whenever I visit a site that has a virus on it Norton notifies me and quarantines the virus. You can purchase and download it below, but I would actually recommend going to Wal-mart and buying it out of the box - especially so you can read the instructions and figure out how to work it.
http://www.symantec.com/product/

2. Install Ad-Aware. You can get a free personal edition that will scan you computer for ad-ware ads.
http://www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/

3. Install a firewall or get a router. A firewall protects your computer whenever you are online. A real hacker can get into computers that have ports exposed. A router usually blocks ports the way firewalls do as well. If you don't have one of those then it doesn't matter what you do, your computer will be exposed. For a free firewall I recommend getting Zone Alarm.
http://www.zonelabs.com/store/content/home.jsp

4. Install Spy-ware Exterminator. This utility is a real-time checker of tracking cookies and spy-ware as well. It offers protection as sites and installers put cookies on your machine. It basically catches the stuff that Ad-Aware doesn't catch.
http://www.stompsoft.com/

5. Always look for the Key symbol at the bottom right in Internet Explorer. If you ever purchase anything online make sure you see a key at the bottom of Internet Explorer - this indicates that your credit card information is encrypted whenever it gets sent.

6. Pay-pal is more secure. If possible always use pay-pal for buying things online as opposed to entering credit card information.

7. There is no such thing as being completely secure. Let's say you do all of these steps and someone still gets your credit card info. It is very possible, because it might be the other machine that is insecure and not yours. As long as there is any computer in the world that has your information you can be hacked. Even if you choose to never use a computer again, your bank will always use them. And someone could hack your bank.

8. Never, ever reply or click on a link in an email from someone you don't know. This is basic. I refuse to do business via email. Phishing is the art of sending out an email that pretends it is from your bank. They sometimes say you need to update your account information. So you click on their link, it goes to a fake site that looks real and they end up with your account information.

9. Get better passwords. It is very easy for someone to get your password by what is called a brute-force attack. Basically a hacker will try out thousands of commonly used passwords and eventually get into a system. Always use a combination of numbers and letters in your passwords. It is also good to use really long passwords. Try typing a complete sentence as a password with numbers in it. That is hard to hack.

10. Use temporary credit cards. If you have to use credit cards some banks are issuing what they call "temporary card numbers". Basically you go to your banks site and they will give you numbers that expire after the first use. What is cool is that even if a hacker gets this number, it won't be active. This is just starting to catch on, but I believe it will be more popular in the future.

Armed with knowledge ye must go out and surf sayeth I.

Thought of the Day
"It's mostly bills, magazines and junk mail, anyway."
"Elaine, that's what mail *is*. Without bills, magazines
and junk mail, there *is* no mail."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Visa"

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says... "Why the long face?" I had to complete that joke last night as we bet on horses at the track. I had never been before and it was a cool experience. We had a penthouse sweet and there were free drinks and food to be had. We even got $30 to bet on the horses. I learned about the Quintilla and boxing and other such gambling terms. I was up most of the night - by about $15. Then like always I bet it all on the last race - which was my downfall. My philosophy is - "I've brought the money to lose, and I might as well take a big risk with it." This time it wasn't even my money. It does pay off big every other time. So somehow the bartender jokes were being told. A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender says ,"How'd you get that." The frog says,"It started off as a bump." The person I felt sorry for was the bartender lady in our room. My crew is, well, obnoxious sailors. So she heard an earful of drunk people trying to be funny while swearing. I was just trying to figure out how to judge the horses. It was pretty cool. Now if I can only forget those horrible jokes.

Thought of the Day
"I was free and clear. I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery."
"Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise."
- George and Jerry, in "The Foundation"

Today is my old companies "picnic" and I am still invited. This time it will be at the local horse racetrack. There will probably be drinking and gambling on horses. It takes me back to mt past companies' "after hours" events. I've seen it all in my 7 years in the career world. When I first started out at AT&T there was always a big "Summer Blast" behind the building. At the beginning in the Internet boom AT&T would go all out with it. Every division would set up a booth with a different food product. They even brought in outside vendors like the Hooters Girls to give away their chicken wings. There were raffles, drinking and dancing. Needless to say it was my first company function where I learned a valuable lesson watching others - don't get drunk. My group was just outta college and a lot of them didn't know how to act so they got smashed. Then the "truth" came out of their mouths. One person started telling the manager what they thought of her. Another person tried to get someone else fired. I was told I was "too logical". The next week they all hung their heads in shame from what they have done. The same thing happened at the Christmas parties. One Christmas party we had it in a big hotel here in Dallas where there was about 5 parties happening at the same time. I was in a group that got the idea to crash another party. We walked into the auditorium and it turned out it was for a law firm. We got a table and had food and had their drinks. I think a couple of people actually struck up conversations with the guests. I didn't hear what was said, but I think eventually we had to get out of there. I guess Mr. Smith didn't work there. 4 years later when I was at a smaller company we were taken to a go-cart track and given pizza. We all thought it was lame. So, the president gave our Project Manager a corporate card and said "do what you want" and I will not say what happened next... I can only think of what will happen tonight. I have a feeling this group is holding back a lot of repressed anger. I was already told that if I win a lot and they loose they would get me on the way to the parking lot...

Thought of the Day
Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now.
- The Jerk

When I was in 6th - 9th grade I was Mr.Bean. Everyday some weird situation would cause my pens to break. Most of the time it was me chewing on them in class. If there is such a thing as ink poisoning I probably have it. There I was walking around with ink stains on my front pockets. See nerds were smarter, they had pocket protectors for good reasons. Me, I never thought about them, instead I inked all over the place. It always happened during class too. I would stick pens in my front pocket after chewing on them and then during break I would put my hands in my pockets and I would get ink all over them. One time I think I started eating my pen and got ink all over my mouth. Now that's embarrassing, especially when no one tells you. They needed to make non-corrosive chewable pens for people who get bored or better yet flavored pens for chewers. Pens were always a fun thing because they came in different shapes and colors. Blue or black pens were common, but I remember those fancy multi-colored ink pens. Then there were the pens that had erasers. It musta been a special ink or something. In the end all my jeans had blue or black stains where the pockets were. Eventually I learned towards my later high school years; the pens I did chew I would put in my backpack instead of my pockets. Except this time they would explode in my backpack and whenever I put my hands in it I would still get ink on my hands. I guess I always wanted to put something in my mouth. I think it was all one big conspiracy. You ever notice how on the Bic pens there is a little hole in them. I think it is for the pressurization of the ink. Whenever the end of the pens gets opened the ink is depressurized and then flows out the other end. I think the designed so that high school kids will have to get new pens, or maybe its just me.

Thought of the Day
"Again with the sweatpants?"
"What? I'm comfortable."
"You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'"
- Jerry and George, in "The Pilot"

Ok, now on to the funny stuff. As I get to work and sit in our new work environment I can't help but laugh. Over the weekend they switched all the cubes around to be one gigantic cube. There are approximately 16 people in one big cube. They all looked at me when I came in with sad droopy eyes and I couldn't help but laugh. They all know I am leaving. I could see this coming - that was one of the reasons I left. It has to be the worst idea anyone ever had. But I will not badmouth my company even though I really could, a lot. I went swimming over the weekend in Wichita Falls at my old home. It reminded me of all the times as a kid we would go swimming. There was one summer where I pretty much lived in the pool. There are many games you can play in a pool. The first and obvious one is Marco Polo. A classic game where one person says Marco with their eyes shut and all of the participants say Polo. Then it evolved into tag with the eyes open. Then there is the classic "Chicken Fights". It is where one person gets on the shoulders of another and tries to knock the other 2 people down. I always played it against my sister and seemed to win most of the time - as long as she didn't use her nails. Chicken Fights evolved into "knock a person off a raft". Then there is "Find the Rings" where you throw rings at the bottom of the pool and in one breath you have to get all of them. We also attempted to play water volleyball, but it never seemed to work because the ball kept on going out of the pool and someone would have to get it. We also played water football. That was like regular football except you would pretty much win if you caught the ball. Eventually we grew out of those games as the years went by and it all evolved into - "Don't bother me while I'm floating on a Raft." The classic game of nothing.

Thought of the Day
"Well, my swimming pool problems are solved. I just found myself miles and miles of open lanes."
"What is that smell?"
"That's East River."
"You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?"
"Technically, Norfolk has more gross tonnage."
"How could you swim in that water?"
"I saw a couple other guys out there."
"Swimming?"
"Well... floating. They weren't moving much, but they were out there."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Nap"

Well, I have made my decision. There actually was a job that just stood out above all others, even the Cleveland job at Ernst and Young. I received an offer today and accepted it. It has everything:

1. I will be coding - finally doing what I love
2. Flextime - they just want the job done
3. Contracting - a 6 month contract to start with, possible 2 year job, with possible overtime
4. Possible work from home during the week
5. Good commute - only 25 minutes away
6. I get to stay here and not have to go out of town. So I can stay in my band and still have guys night
7. A 10% raise - that will be sweet
8. Better Benefits - I will be able to get Blue Cross/Blue Shield's 90%/10% plan
9. I have met the team and they are very friendly and very knowledgeable
10. I will be working on a Global System with high visibility.
11. I will be working for an internationally known company - making my resume look even better.

So what is it? I will be working at Nokia as an IBM consultant sub-contracting through Strategic Staffing Solutions. It's kind of similar to what I am doing now - working at the IRS as a MSD consultant subcontracting through GoTechNow. And the account I will be on will be Nokia's Warranty Division. So in effect I will be working at Nokia, everyone just get's a piece of me. I am excited - this job is exactly what I was looking for. Life is good. Let's hope it is as good as I make it out!

Thought of the Day

Switching topics a little, I am currently selling some domain names on eBay right now. About a year ago I snatched up some Google domain names in the hopes that I would be able to create some products and services and make some money. But I realized that I never had the time or the will or the capital to spend on it. I am willing to bet someone will bid on it as I am starting off the bidding at $2,000. $200,000 obviously is way too much. Anyway, as for my other company ideas I am keeping those domains and will eventually build those.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5782725849

I seem to be a dreamer/visionary type. I like to think about the future and where things will lead and try to invent things. When I was a kid I thought about getting a spaceship to go the speed of light by creating a mirror that gets pushed by a laser. There also was my weight loss idea of electrical stimulation of muscles to simulate working out while a person is sleeping, then I realised the zaps would keep a person awake. Over time I invented things like a car periscope that allows drivers in small cars to see past SUVs that are in a turn lane. I also invented a board game called "Make your own reality TV show" where the players make scripts and act them out with their camcorders. Then there was another weight loss idea of a shower treadmill so in the morning you can run in the shower and kill two birds with one stone, I think I ran into a wall though when I thought about the lawsuits from people who slip in the shower. I suppose most of my ideas are half-brained ideas but it's the ones I won't tell you that are the really good ones.

Thought of the Day
"It's Fusilli Jerry! It's made from fusilli pasta. See the microphone?"
"When did you do this?"
"In my spare time. You know, I'm working on one of you George. I'm using ravioli. See, the hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual."
"Why fusilli?"
"Because you're silly. Get it?"
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Fusilli Jerry"

Well, I was off yesterday finishing up some interviews. It appears that I will be making my decision by Friday morning. Right now I have 2 definite offers and 2 more are expected. I gave my 2 weeks notice and they were sad to see me go but they all understood why. At this point I have mastered interview tactics so I will now give my top 10 interview tactics.

1. Talk about your accomplishments. Even in a straight technical interview talk about how you implemented or created something new and how it helped the company - answer the question quickly but elaborate on all your answers.

2. Study for the interview. There is a set of interview questions that are almost always asked and they all pertain to programming or attitude. Like - "Tell me your worst trait". You can't possibly know it all, but having a good answer will show you care. Always turn negative questions into positive answers.

3. If you can't answer something then tell them. Nothing beats honesty. If you try to make something up tell them your are making a logical guess. I did that a couple of times and I actually guessed the right answer and they were able to see my brain in action. A couple of times I was way off, but they knew that I was guessing because I told them.

4. Don't use words like "We worked on this" because they will assume you did not do much. Always use "I" and bring out your ego - but don't sound too conceited because that is a turnoff.

5. Shine on the open ended questions. Talk about how you implemented something exciting or how you created something on your own. Always talk about how good you are with people and how you think attitude makes a difference in a work environment.

6. Always try to wear a suit and tie. If you are currently working and can't wear one then explain that to them.

7. A tactic to get them to move is to use an existing offer. It is very political to play the offer game, but if they know you are wanted somewhere else it will give them reason to move. However if the position itself is extremely generic they will assume that you will take the other offer and not get back with you. It is a risky judgement call. It is better to let them know of other offers after you have gone on a first interview and can judge their interest.

8. Always act like their job is the best job in the world. Until you get an offer it is. Always be positive and never talk bad about any of your jobs.

9. At the end when they ask you for questions have a list of questions to ask them. Be sure to ask about benefits and environment. While it may make them uncomfortable because most environments are bad, it will give you a better idea of what you would be getting into. Also your last question should be - "Is there anything else I can talk about that will make a difference in getting this job?"

10. Last but not least stress that you are definitely interested in the position. I recommend giving thank you emails only if you are really interested and if you think it will help.

I have used these tactics and can say they definitely work. Remember everything in life is a two way street. It has taken me years to realize that. They want a good employee and you want a good job. They will get what they pay for and they will reap the benefits of a good environment vs a bad one. It's just like people who complain why you never call them, yet they have your number. Thinking like that is a good way to judge how much you are wanted. Even at a current company if you are treated bad, think about how much of an impact your leaving would be. It may be time to ask for a raise by judging your value. The idea that we are all slaves to our companies makes workers feel powerless. It is not hard to break out of that thinking and starting stepping up. You never know what you'll get.

In the programming industry job security is based on knowledge and experience. The more knowledge you have the better able you are to get hired. So if you feel like you are stuck, pick up something new and implement it in the work environment. Study and learn other pieces and expand your resume. That is the job of the Resume Hawk - which I have become. You end up having solid credentials and can get a job practically anywhere which is what real security is about. So as I look at these offers I am always thinking about the future. Since I am a contractor I am already thinking about the contract I will get after the new one is over and what the new job will get me in terms of skills. It is a process few are really cut out to do. But those who do will reap the rewards.

Thought of the Day
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Irving Berlin

On Friday I went to Cleveland for an interview with Ernst and Young. It went rather well I am intrigued at the thought of working on such an upscale project. It would be very good for my career. I would basically work there during the week and fly home on the weekends. I also received my first offer from another company on Friday. Then on Sunday I received another offer. I know that I will take at least one of those offers at minimum so today I am giving my two weeks notice. I'll probably submit it this afternoon. I will make my decision about what offer to take by Thursday morning. Sometimes I dread giving the 2 weeks notice. My last day will be Friday June 24th, and my first day will be Monday June 27th. I think I dread giving my 2 weeks notice here simply because I like the employees here. It is a little like breaking up with a girlfriend. There will be some hurt people simply because I have made a big impact. The weird thing is we had some people leave already and I have been giving interviews as well as going on interviews most days. So I can already recommend my replacement. I still have to go on some final interviews for 3 more companies on Tuesday, so in the end I could possibly be trying to decide between 6 different offers. They all have different things going for them so it will be hard. I haven't made a decision yet. I know some companies will be reading this weblog just by googling me. So if you are one, take note - I am open for anything, I haven't made my decision yet and this weblog is meant to be a funny view of my life. My work life is a different story. I am very professional at work and my attitude is top notch. I think it is obvious by my resume and interviews that I know what needs to be known and will get the job done. As for my language, if you googled BLML then you know I have created a language. I am actually working on that in my own time and have not yet released it to the internet. I have a web site set up at http://www.blml.org where I will release it. I have seen that most companies are interested in it and I can teach it to business analysts to speed up the Business Requirements process if needed. I have already taught people at the IRS how to use it in the requirements process. Anyway, I am excited at all of the offers I am getting and I know that wherever I go, there I'll be.

Thought of the Day
"For our next meal, do you think we should come here, or should we go someplace else? It has its pros and cons. On the one hand, here you're guaranteed a great meal. On the other hand..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, this would be good but it would be the same. But if we go someplace else it would be different, but it might not be as good. It's a gamble. I get it!"
- Banya and Jerry, in "The Secretary"

As I am searching for jobs I am hit from all sides by different types of companies wanting a certain type of person. I have current opportunities doing things like a local 3 month contract project with intensive coding or a 1 hour commute 6-12 month contract project or a permanent position with a consulting company working at a San Antonio client for 10 months interacting with India. Also I could have those relocation projects, two in Seattle, one in Florida and one in California. The one in California is very desperate. I didn't even catch their name and they said they could give me 100k off the bat(like I would ever move there). Then there are the super-commute projects where I would be gone during the week and have a separate apartment. One in Cleveland and one in Arkansas. A majority of them are for very well known companies. Then I am also getting calls from other companies in Downtown Dallas that want me to go on a first interview. I probably have been on at least 100 separate interviews already in my life. It's getting to where I can answer their questions before they ask them. It started where I would get calls only during the day. Then I got two calls last night. It's nice to be wanted, but I do know that once I take a job all of these calls will be irritating. The first interview usually starts off as a basic tech interview with standard tech questions. The second face to face is a little more versitile. I've been going up in front of guru's with 22 years coding experience asking me to know specific details about every little nuance. One time I just told the guy - hey that's what Google is for and he agreed. Reality is that anything can be asked and I shouldn't worry about what it is, because one key to a successful face-to-face interview is 50% personality. Recruiters are another source of interviews. They are the pimps of the tech world. Basically they find the job and get a percentage of your money. They like it when you go 1099 instead of W-2 on taxes. I still have yet to figure out the best conversion rate for a 1099. The standard seems to be 5$ more - like 55hr w-2 and 60hr 1099. However, I hear that the disparity should be greater, like $8 hr. I will probably have some offers next week, but so far there really hasn't been a job jump out at me as perfect. I doubt I'll find it. Maybe I'll take the 3 month one and continue looking. Anyway, I was at a face-to-face interview yesterday and the guy kept on asking me questions about the Rational Process of Development. He kept on grilling me about the process. When he asked me if I had any questions I asked if the company used the Rational Process. He said no. So dare I say it. Why ask about it?

Thought of the Day
Phil: Do you ever have deja vu Mrs. Lancaster?
Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.
-Groundhog Day

I remember when I was a kid and "Beat It" came out. Out local elementary school got to jazzercise to it. I thought it was the coolest thing. We all choreographed our movements and everything. Each bong of the bell we would put our hands to our face and spin around. I also remember eating at Pizza Inn and hearing Thriller and Def Leppards "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and dancing in the restaurant. Now that we all can see how embarrassing the 80s really was, or maybe how embarrassing I was, I wonder what is to become of the King of Pop. As an outsider I really can't say what exactly the jury is looking at. I think it is pretty close to even. Since both the defense and the prosecution has had prior deeds I think it makes them even. It is a pretty close call. It appears like it might end up at whose story the jury believes - a self professed peter pan millionaire or a boy whose mother is litigious. I bet the deliberations take a while. Take note of where you are when the verdict is given. I remember when the OJ Verdict was given. I was at Texas Tech in the student center. For some reason all of the African Americans decided to hang out there when the verdict was announced. There was probably 250 people stuffed into the student center to watch the verdict. I didn't notice I was the only white guy there until after the verdict of "not guilty" was given. One of them said, "Let's riot anyway" and they all laughed. I quickly exited the building after realizing what could've happened and after all the stares I was getting. However at this verdict I don't think they'll say that. I think most people think he's guilty. Then again most people thought OJ was guilty too. What do you think?

Thought of the Day
"Oh look Elaine, the black and white cookie. I love the black and white. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?"
"You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Yeah, I think it'll be a very smooth transition for you."
- Jerry, in "The Dinner Party"

This weekend went well. On Friday night and Saturday I watched movies. On Saturday I gave blood, however a black and blue mark developed near the wound. I think they did it wrong or something. On Saturday night I saw "Fat Albert", don't ask me why. It was OK. They tried to do it Brady Bunch style and make it like the 70's meets the 2000's, but it just wasn't as effective. On Sunday I was busy all day. I went to Church, Sunday School, Fed the Homeless, sang and played spiritual songs on my guitar at a prayer group and then played sand volleyball. I signed up for the volleyball league. I actually had fun playing it. It took me back to when I was in junior high and we would play the coaches every day during the off-season. We would lose of course. I even took Monday off because well, I felt like it. I had a couple of phone screens for job prospects and I didn't want to take it at the cube. One of them was the second interview for the Cleveland job. I thought it was going to be another 1 hour tech screen. Instead it was a 15 minute personality profile. That was kind of odd. First they have me do a 48 hour coding marathon and then they ask what my worst trait is and what my best project was like, easy political questions that shoulda been asked before I took the 48 hour screen. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I answered them right so it looks like I will be headed to Cleveland on Friday for the final interview. I also aced another phone screen. This was for a 4-6 month contract here in Dallas. I think they are converting powerbuilder to c#. Anyway, all I really did on my day off was convert some of the old family VHS Christmas tapes to DVD. Christmas time was orchestrated very well by my mother. Every 15 minutes she would have us stop ripping up the presents and place the wrapping paper in the boxes. Of course I never listened, I wanted to play with my toys. I also converted the News tape that Melinda and I were on. It was when we were in the science fair. It was cool to see little 4th grade Brian, showing the world his animations on a computer and stumbling through an explanation, afterwords the announcer says ,"Aha, I think I got that." And seeing my sister in braces and really huge glasses explain how the Earth is sphere. In the evening I had my first date from eharmony. It seems like every six months I go on dates. This girl I actually liked. She has a certain personality trait that I like. She also is a Christian that likes live music and is not a teacher so she has that going for her. We went to the Blue Mesa Grill and then walked around. It was pretty good, so we shall see. Anyway, I actually have to wake up early and leave work early so I can go on other interviews. It is getting harder and harder to hide what I am doing, getting calls all the time during the day. They probably figured it out. But as long as I don't explicitly say something they can't do anything. For now I am going to dream of spiking the ball. Can you just picture it?

Thought of the Day
Ned: Do you have life insurance, Phil? Because if you do, you could always use a little more, I mean, who couldn't? But let me tell something - I got's a feeling
[whistles]
Ned: you ain't got any. Am I right or am I right or am I right?
Groundhog Day

The presentation went well. I got some claps at the end. However, because most of them didn't know C# I lost them at the beginning at "Hello World." I had 25 topics to cover in 50 minutes. I was actually able to finish. It took me back to college when we had to take speech, in which we learned to give presentations. I remember my first one. I gave it over the styles of guitar players. I seem to remember every time I would mention the word guitar my hands would start strumming. I would use my hands like they were the guitar. This presentation today I was like George Bush, whenever I said quotations I would naturally put my fingers into a quotation style maneuver. I thought I was about to say "wouldn't be prudent at this juncture." Unfortunately my understanding of what quotations vs. parenthesis vs. brackets are is a little mixed up. I think they are all the same thing. I gauged the audiences confusion at that point. I would look around the room to see if they understood. There were maybe a couple of people who were nodding their head in agreement. The biggest thing about the presentation was the fact that we all had pizza, I think that in itself made it a success. They want me to do another one, for the pizza or the info? Changing topics, I've still got some interviews to go on. Microsoft is still interested in me, but this time up in Seattle, I might have to fly up there for a final interview. A big 6 consulting firm is interested me up in Cleveland. A hotel chain is interested in me in San Antonio, and a chain store is interested in me in Downtown Dallas. I am still holding on for a local gig. It'd be a big pain to move, especially since I have a house. However, if the job was really good and I investigated it fully and it was excellent I might actually move. Friends don't worry, I won't jump into anything bad like I have in the past. I'll probably be inundated next week with other interviews, I plan on taking everything into account. I am no longer afraid to ask about things like the commute, work environment, and hours. We shall see,

Thought of the Day
"I love these people. You can't ask them questions. They're so mentally gifted that we mustn't disturb the delicate genius unless it's in the confines of an office. When huge sums of money are involved then the delicate genius can be disturbed!"
- George, in "The Kiss Hello"

Hmm, what to talk about today. Sometimes I have no idea. Today should be busy. I went to a recruiter this morning and will go to one at lunch. In the meantime I am creating a presentation called "Effective C#: 25 Ways to Improve your Coding" that I am going to be giving tomorrow at a "brown-bag" lunch. In the work world that is a term used to describe working during lunch hours. The good thing is that the company will usually pay for pizza or subs or something while everyone is doing it. So I have to get up in front of our 20 person team and give this presentation while they are all munching on pizza. I wonder if I could eat while I was doing it? Nah, I'd end up talking with my mouth full. I am wondering what it is going to end up like. I'd say out of 20 people only 4 will really understand what I am talking about. If I take questions we'll be there all day. No one really asked me to do this, I just took it upon myself to create it. So under the guise of becoming a better worker I created this presentation. The reality is that it was for me to sharpen my C# skills for tech interviews and not for them, but I am not going to tell them that. I think I am beginning to master technical interviews. There is only a set amount of questions that someone can ask. All you have to do is research interview questions and memorize the answers. The tech interview I went on this morning was supposed to last 35 minutes. It took me 5. I read each question and quickly selected the answers like I was a genius or something, but I clearly am not. Anyway, when I give this presentation I hope my nervous laugh doesn't come back. I can imagine "See ,hehe, structs go on the stack, hehe, and classes go on the heap, hehe, so it's better to use structs for data, hehe, and classes for behaviour, hehe". Eh, they're there for the pizza anyways.

Thought of the Day
"Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."
- Newman, in "The Ticket" Thought of the Day

Today I'd like to reminisce about a show that brought us such phrases "Kawwen, how do work this <bleep> remote?" and "Kewwy, puwt the dowg down and <bleep> warwkin wompan." "Ok dad". The show I am talking about the infamous "Osbourne's" on MTV. Ozzy seems to be understood by everyone. Yet I can't understand a single word. Except for his songs. I bet he has some kind of vocal synthesizer that makes him actually pronounce his words. Cause he'll start talking and say,"No bore bers" and the mic will pick up "No more tears." I remember watching Hollywood take place in my living room. It was pretty cool to see how dysfunctional it all was. I do remember how more famous he became afterwards, showing up at Presidential Galas and places he should never go. It was weird. Still, everyone acted like they understood what he was saying. "Yabba Dabba <bleep>" "Only on Sundays, you?" That is a rocker. I remember seeing him in concert when I was in college. It was really good and he went and did all his old songs as well. I hear his daughter is following in his footsteps, she's tried to make in the music industry and failed so she decided that drugs would help and then went to rehab for the first time. Ozzy probably remembers his first time. "It ww <bleep> <bleep>" There were so many expletives on that show it sounded like someone was dialing a phone number every time Ozzy talked. I think we all watched it just because it was like a train wreck and you just couldn't look away. Are they still airing it? I guess after a couple of seasons people started to speak Ozzy and it was no fun anymore. As I end, remember the immortal words of Ozzy Osbourne ,"How the <bleep> do I work this remote?"

Thought of the Day
"I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never urinate at the Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober."
(Ozzy Osbourne, MTV News Online, 1992)