Hmm, what to talk about today. I worked till 10 last night so I was able to go home and make dinner and watch TV. This hurricane stuff is momentous. I remember going to Mardi Gras about 6 years ago and experienced all that New Orleans has to offer. It was a caravan of people. Even Peetey and Mr.T went. There were so many people it was unbelievable. All of the streets were packed and you could barely squeeze by in some instances. Memorable moments including seeing Drew Carey dressed in a huge pink hat with a feather on it. I think he was a pimp. Also the women there seemed to get hot a lot because they would always be seen taking their tops off and beads would get thrown at them to cool them down. There was the usual "Big Ass Beer" signs all over the place and the smell wasn't that good. Smart people tended to only go in the street when you knew where you were going. One night we shut New Orleans down. We went and partied till the sun came up and ended up taking a bus back to the hotel. Ah good times. I remember some restaurant where they had this french food that reminded me of a sopapilla, a cinnamon bread kinda thing. It was really good. I remember getting lost and walking into a different section of New Orleans. We knew it was different when we saw a group of guys wearing pants that were only half made because the backs were showing. Then we also got lost and ended up in the ghetto. It was easy to see because as we walked across a field everyone was standing outside their rundown apartments looking menacing at us, because well, we were the only white people in a 5 mile radius. A surreal experience happened during the day, the women still were too hot because in broad daylight they would take off their tops. It was weird because one incident happened right as I was walking along the street minding my own business. This girl on the ground was talking to a guy in a second floor apartment. I walk between the two and in an instant he throws beads down and I see headlights. I thought to myself, wha? Then in an instant they were gone and we continue on our merry way. I just want to know. What is so good about a bead necklace that you have to take off your top? I mean, they are probably worth $5 at the most. I am sure somewhere in New Orleans is a treasure chest of beads that the women keep, hoping the bead market declines. Other memorable moments include watching all of the parades and seeing street performers all over the place. We also visited a cemetery where all of the graves where above ground. It was pretty old and historic. Anyways, anyone else got any memories?

Thought of the Day
"This is weird, wild stuff. George hasn't even seen her yet."
"Why do you think we're getting the sneak preview?"
"Maybe she's trying to create a buzz."
"What?"
"You know, get some good word of mouth going."
- Jerry, Elaine and Kramer, observing observing a topless Jane, in "The Hamptons"

Every once in a while work tends to heat up and becomes all encompassing. For instance yesterday I worked from 9:30am to 11:30pm. I didn't get home until midnight. I will probably have to do some more this week. I don't mind, especially since I get paid by the hour. For dinner last night I ate out of the vending machines and had popcorn, peanut butter crackers and BBQ chips. The standard programmers diet. Tonight I will probably work late as well. I think the last bought of super-programming was last year around the fourth of July. You might check my blog all the way back then.I think though it got so tedious I ended up counting how many If statements I will write in my life. I think it turned out to be 132,000 Ifs. That was pretty close to burnout. Actually now that I think about it my last marathon was for the interview with Earnst and Young. I remember doing coding marathons even at the age of 10 years old. I was writing some monster mystery game for the Apple IIe in the summer and would wake up and program and be programming until the end of the day, with bouts of TV thrown in there and a little dose of insanity. In college I had those times where I would procrastinate with a programming assignment and have to get it all done. In my C++ class we had an assignment to write a compiler for a language that the professor had written. I went on a coding bing at that time and worked for 36 hours straight without sleeping. I had a steady stream of Dr.Pepper, Cigarettes and the Beatles white album and Jimi Hendrix's experience. Ah, good times. I got a 100 on that assignment and that was when I knew that I could do anything on a computer, but alas I got an F in the class. I fell asleep on the final. My head hit the keyboard and that incident propelled me into Management Information Systems. In the long run it was for the best. I am still coding and work with CS people all of the time, sometimes teaching them. It was just another path to the same destination. This coding binge I am listening to my MP3's and taking my shoes off. Last night the lights got turned off around 7 so there I was coding in the dark. It gave it a feeling of ambiance. Our project needs to be finished by Monday, so we shall see what happens. I think I'll finish way before then though. It reminds me of a joke I just made up. "Why did the programmer cross the road?" "If he did then he did else he didn't."

Thought of the Day
Nigan: He does fit the profile perfectly. He's intelligent, but an under-achiever; alienated from his parents; has few friends. Classic case for recruitment by the Soviets.
-- Wargames

And now for the weekend update. Friday started off bad as I came home to a house that was 88 degrees. Apparently my air conditioner broke down. I then decided to go someplace cool and saw the movie "The 40 year Old Virgin". It was pretty funny in some places. In others it appeared to go bone dry. Also there was a schisking scene of which I had to close my eyes. Apparently if a movie doesn't have vomit in it, it is just not funny. There were many crude jokes made in it as well. I would not recommend it to an audience that is easily offended. But, if you are not offended easily it was pretty funny. After the movie I went over to Peetey's house because there was no way I was going to spend the night in such high temperatures. I was planning to go to Hurricane Harbor the next morning but I had to cancel that to get the air conditioning guy out. When he came out he filled it with freon and told me I had a leak in one of my coils. In order to replace it it would cost me $1500. Anyway I told him I would only do it if my house couldn't stay cool(its in the 100s out here). Fortunately it did cool down and by the afternoon I went to Hurricane harbor and caught up with my Sunday School class. It was pretty fun. I didn't go on the Geronimo slide but I went on the one right next to it that almost goes straight down. That was fun. Hurricane harbor was missing one important feature of any swimming pool - A High Dive. When I was a kid I used to love going as high as possible and jumping off. High dives were cool because for an instant it felt like you were flying. We had a good time anyways. Then we all went to a local Italian theme restaurant called Buca Debepo. It was "family-style" in which they bring out large bowls of Italian food and you take what you want. The food was really good. I then went home and spent the rest of the night cleaning for my party the next night. I missed church again, but went to Sunday school and also fed the homeless. The prayer and praise night was really good. I got to play guitar for everyone and we all had tons of prayer requests to go through. Every little bit helps I always say. Everyone didn't leave until midnight, so I was all worn out from the weekend. Now I need another weekend. Reality is this week I am going to be doing a lot of work. Bring on the Red Bull and No Fear.

Thought of the Day
"Don't interrupt the cycle. The machine is working. It knows what it's doing. Just let it finish."
"You're going to overdry it."
"You can't overdry."
"Why not?"
"The same reason you can't overwet."
- Jerry and George, in "Good News, Bad News"

Hmm, what to talk about today. I got a call from my mom and step brother yesterday. I've been way busy and haven't really talked with my family or anything. I think for Thanksgiving I might be going to my step-brothers or they might be coming to my place and for Christmas my whole family is invited to come down to Dallas. Some news, it looks like sometime in September I may be going to Prague for a week to do analysis and requirements gathering for the next version of Nokia's warranty system. I've never been outside of North America so it should be really fun. For the life of me I thought Prague was in Germany and started brushing up on my German that I learned in high school. Unfortunately it appears that Prague is in Checkoslovakia so they all will look at me like I am crazy when I start speaking German. People who work at Nokia speak English so I won't have to worry about the job, just about getting around town. I remember my German teacher in high school. Frau Forsythe was her name. She was a commanding woman that kept all us kinders in line. She liked to have us do the Duck dance in class where you clap your hands, stomp your feet and flap your arms like a duck. At the beginning of the year when we started with the duck dance we all laughed and felt completely ridiculous. Towards the end of the year we wanted to be the best ducks possible. That was the one class where I was a clown, always getting into trouble and the like. I think it was because she taught with my mom over at another school and she was able to give my mom reports. This one time we took a big field trip to a German restaurant in Dallas. It was the worst food ever. It was very strong and the Toblerone desert was terrible - give me Hersheys any day. I remember starving on that field trip. That reminds me, when I travel overseas can I pack cheeseburgers in my luggage?

Thought of the Day
"So what do you do?"
"I'm a comedian."
"Are you? Let me ask you something. Where do you get your material?"
"I hear a voice."
"What kind of voice?"
"A man's voice, but he speaks in German so I have to get a translator."
"How come you keep tapping your head?"
"It's a nervous tic. I'm on L-Dopa."
- Party guest and Jerry, in "The Stranded"
-- Seinfeld "The Stranded"

I just emailed this letter to the Mayor and City Council. It has been on my heart lately.
---
Dear Mayor and City Council,
I would like to thank you for doing a great job. I bet it is a real hard job managing day to day operations in the City of Dallas. I would like to give you some information to help you make better decisions regarding this city's homeless population. I am one of the "street feeder's" that does the feeding. Every Sunday my Sunday School class from Prestonwood Baptist Church goes out and gets food and water and brings it to the Day Resource Center and feeds the homeless. We also spread the gospel as well, giving spiritual food as well as physical food. I have been doing this every Sunday since last October and have seen things go from bad to worse. The best way to really gauge how the homeless policies are working is to talk to the homeless people themselves. At some point they feel like the City of Dallas doesn't care about them. Everything they have seems to have been made illegal. Originally they were allowed to sleep in public places, of which the right to sleep is a God given right, and that was taken away. Then they were told they could not have makeshift box homes anymore making the homeless more destitute. Then they were told they couldn't ask anyone for money anymore because it was making citizen's uncomfortable. And now it appears you don't want us to feed them, which is another God given right. Already we are told that we have to get a food handler's permit to give food away. Is this true for charitable bake sales as well? I heard the other day you were talking about fining us for helping them. That is wrong on so many levels. I beg you Mayor and City Council. Please turn your policies away from the love of big business money and turn them to the love of mankind. They are still human and need all opportunities to better themselves. In talking with them it appears they feel that in the end your policies are designed for them to go to jail. They feel that they have become political pawns used to get businesses more money and get the city more funding that will never make it to them. The solution to this problem is simple. Help them. Feed them. Clothe them. Give them every opportunity to change. Take back all of the policies that have made being homeless illegal. These policies have done harm to the homeless community. There will always be a homeless population. I pray when you make these decisions that you think about the people with whom these policies directly affect and make a real difference. You have the power to love.

Sincerely,
Brian Bass

I went grocery shopping last night after a long day of work. Grocery shopping has to be the point at which people decide if they are going to diet or not. My problem is I don't have much variety. My new diet is the following - bananas, red bull and full throttle, bread, hot dog buns, bologna, breakfast sausage, diet sprite, V8 juice, Hershey's dark chocolate kisses, chocolate chip cookie dough and chef boyardee spaghetti and ravioli. I still have yet to name this diet of mine. Really it is so mixed I think I'll call it the NotaDiet. The Notadiet amounts are very lenient. The idea is to eat when you are hungry or when you feel like it. If you can't eat anymore or don't feel like eating then stop. I was doing so well on my Subway diet, I lost about 15 pounds. I think though if I ever go to Subway again it'll be too soon. I was working out too. But now I get more hours in at work and don't have time to work out anymore. So I am still planning to build some kind of machine that can work you out while you are sleeping. At first the idea was to connect your muscles to electrodes and have them shock your muscles to work out. The problem was that the shocks would wake you up. Then I thought, what if you were given an anesthetic like at surgery before you get shocked then you would sleep through the whole thing. Your whole body could be robotically worked out and you would be asleep. After realizing how stupid that was I thought about beaming out fat cells using quantum teleportation techniques, but then I realized we need our fat cells. So it was back to the drawing board. I then thought about extracting all of the bad parts from our food. The problem though becomes George Foreman Grill conundrum - the food tastes bad without the fat. So I am back where I started on the NotaDiet. I think I'll have a bacon cheeseburger for lunch. Now that is the biggest benefit of this diet - the taste - yummy. I should just order some mumus.

Thought of the Day
"Hey, I'll tell you what, chubbs, if that yogurt has fat in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet for a week."
"Well, let's start the insanity."
"Mmmmmm.... giddyup!"
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"

Have you ever completely forgot something and had to go back and get it again? Recently I've been doing that. It started off innocently enough. I would leave my badge in the car and then once I got to the security door realized that I had left it in my car and had to walk all the way back to my car to get it. Then yesterday was the big one. On Sunday I had left my acoustic guitar in my car because I played "Amazing Grace" on my guitar and harmonica at Sunday school. Anyway it was still in my car on Monday. I knew that I had to bring it into the office because the temp is in the 100s out here and my guitar would've fried. So throughout the day I would get comments like,"put a hat out and play and see if people put money in it." I had to bust it out to show my coworkers. I used to be ashamed from being a band because of the "druggie alchy band stigma" even though it isn't true for me anyways. I often thought people would treat me differently, kinda like they do when they find out you are a Christian. Anyway I forgot that I had left my guitar in the office and left for the day having almost arrived at home. I had to drive all the way back to the office to pick it up again. What a big pain. I lost about 45 minutes of my life cause I left my guitar somewhere. My other guitar amp was recently found as well. I think I forgot that I had put it in a closet in the guest bedroom and was asking everyone if they knew where it was. I think I am loosing my mind blahda blahda. Or maybe once you turn 30 senility sets in. Or maybe the hot temperatures are frying my brain. What did I do yesterday? I'm glad I have this blog, that way I know.

Thought of the Day
Judge: Uh, could you get to the speeding?
Newman: Yuh, yes. I intend to Your Honor. And then, on the afternoon of September 10th, you received a phone call did you not?
Kramer (puzzled): Phone call?
Newman: Yes, a phone call!
Kramer: From who?
Newman: From me!
Kramer: From you?
Newman: Yes, from me!! I called you remember?
Kramer: You called me?
Newman: Yes, I called you, you idiot! Because you were going to... You were going to... Remember?
Kramer: what?
Newman: You were going to...
[Mimmicks hanging himself, growing hysterical as only Newman can]
You were going to do something
[Mimmicks stabbing himself in stomach and jerking the knife around] to yourself! You were going to do something to yourself! Remember the banking? The banking, about the banking, about the banking!!!
Judge: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to call a---
Newman: Yes, the banker!!!
Kramer: What banking?
Newman: A banker! A banker! Your Honor, Your Honor, Your Honor...
Judge: That's enough already.
Newman: Your Honor, Mister Kramer's obviously very distraught.
Kramer: I'm distraught!?! Wooh-wooh-hoo!

-- The Ticket

Well, this weekend went well. On Friday Ultimate Day had their last show. We were the second to last band to go on so we had to wait until 11:30. By that time in Dallas all of the clubs are full, so even though we brought 4 people we had about 100 people listening to us. It was a big stage in a big club. They even synchronised the lights to our music. It was really cool. We had no noticeable mistakes and the audience was really into it. We even had a mosh pit form for one song. That's when you know they like you - if they're willing to slam their bodies together while gyrating to your tunes. I was on fire guitar wise and for my solos I did the whole close your eyes and look up at the lights routine. I have it on tape and I'll probably put in on DVD. Saturday was busy as well. I had a professional carpet cleaner come in and do my whole house. He was supposed to come in at 9 and didn't show till 11. My carpets look like new again. Now if I can just get all the black smudges off of my walls. Saturday afternoon I got my haircut, my car cleaned, helped a girl from Sunday school with her computer and went to a pool party that night. It looks like I am going to have to take my car into the shop as the damaged taillight faceplate fell off at the car wash. The pool party was fun. I actually did swim and get in the hot tub. I didn't get to bed until 2. On Sunday I did the Church, Sunday school, lunch at California Pizza kitchen, feed the homeless, and jam with some friends. I was actually put in charge of feeding the homeless this time. So everyone kept on asking what we should do. It was weird. I had to make decisions quickly because we like to keep things moving. I was like,"You do cookies, you do water, someone needs to do chips and I need help getting the coolers out of my car. Now, let us pray." At the end we had to do a food safety course thing because the city of Dallas is making it mandatory come September 1st that we all use food safety rules. Yeah, the homeless don't get sick from digging in the garbage for food, they get sick from our bologna and cheese sandwiches. The word around town is all these new rules are there so things get so bad for the homeless and the feeders that the city can get more money from the state or federal government. Since they are going to more than likely shut down the resource center come December they assume the homeless people are going to just disappear. The problem is that they have no where to go and most are mentally disabled. Anyway, I rented Constantine online at cinemanow.com that night and watched it till 1:30. It was OK. I did like the effects. Keanu Reeves needs to really take accent lessons. I think all of the roles he's been in has really messed his accent up. He always sounds like a surfer dude, even as a demon smoting smoker.

Thought of the Day
"It's like a sauna in here."
- Kramer, sitting in a sauna, in "The Implant"

Tonight is Ultimate Day's post-mortem performance. It should be fun. Tito and his girlfriend are staying a couple of days at my place. This time I am getting him to move my furniture(I am having my carpets shampooed Saturday morning) as long as I pay his gas. Ever since I put a mattress against my window the noise hasn't been that bad. Plus our drummer has an electric drum set so he can turn it down. I've been super busy as usual. I been doing a lot with my Singles Sunday School class. They are always doing something every single night of the week. Right now I have Sunday, Monday and Wednesday booked with them. I have Tuesday booked with the band and Thursday booked with guys night(we should get back on schedule next week). Then Friday and Saturday I might go to Deep Ellum or hang out with the guys or with my class or have a date if I am lucky. I actually enjoy being busy and knowing so many people. I think I was a little bit of a social outcast growing up so I am making up for it now. I've got a pool party to go to tomorrow with my Sunday School and next Saturday I am taking the plunge and am going to "Hurricane Harbor" our local water slide park. I remember the last time I went there I was in Junior High. I seem to remember being scared of the slide that dropped straight down. I always liked the wave pool because it reminds me of the ocean. I know some germophobes that won't step foot there. I just hope they use a lot of chlorine. I plan on wearing a t-shirt to cover up my bod. However the other day I discovered something for back hair that will change the face(er..back) of the nation. Nair for Men takes it right off. Maybe I don't need a shirt after all.

Thought of the Day
"Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman? Hoo-wah! Hoo-wah!"
"Very good. Very good."
"Well, I ..."
"You know something?"
"Hmmm?"
"No soup for you!"
"What?"
"Come back one year. Next!"
- Elaine and the Soup Natzi, in "The Soup Natzi"

Today I'd like to talk about Technology. I guess I am kind of a futurist and I can see where things are headed. For one, the personal computer is going to die in the consumer world. I hate to say it but in 5-10 years people will wonder what they looked like. The reason is because Cell phones are going to take the internet, email and music capability away from computers as they get broadband, hard drives and bigger screens. Games will go the way of the Dodo bird(who came up with that cliche?) on PCs as consoles like XBox360 and Playstation3 come out with faster processors and gaming capabilities than regular computers. They will also be able to surf the net, check email and have usb keyboards. All for half the price of a PC. Since HDTVs will become commonplace the living room console will replace the PC. There will become another piece called a "Home Server" that will have Terabytes of storage for your MP3s, Pictures, and DVDs. They will be able to be streamed to your cellphone or XBox360 anywhere in the world. By then telecommuting from home will have increased in popularity. What with gas prices continuing to rise and computers being more virtual it is inevitable. Other advances in technology include more robotic servants. Eventually one's whole kitchen will become automated to make complete meals with an on-demand ordering system. Also, with the advent of RFID all you will have to do in a supermarket will be to bag your stuff in the aisles and their pcs will automatically charge your credit card. Cures for diseases will happen in the next 30 years, with nanomachines fixing things like cancer and regulating diabetes. So I've gotta wear shades.

Thought of the Day
"Do you ever laugh?"
"Not really. Sometimes when I'm in the tub..."
"That's so sad. What do you do?"
"I'm a comedian."
- Cheryl and Jerry, in "The Visa"

Sometimes I think I think too much.

Hmm, since I am talking about spring break I figure I'll go back in time further to spring break, senior year of high school. This spring break was one were me, Peetey, and "Jeff" went with mom and Robbie to Salt Lake City, Utah and passed through Bullhead city. Memorable moments include the satisfaction my mom got after "stopping up" Jeff by giving him some Imodium to take. The illustrious camcorder shots of "jeff" as the door is opened when he is ,ahem, in the bathroom. Apparently I was ribbed on as "Bass the Clown". I had a tendency to wear those jams that were tiger striped back then. Yes I admit I was rather clownish. I always had fun on Spring Break, we just were in the van alot. I can't believe we were able to drive that far in such a small amount of time. I also remember trying to get a good beard going so I could gamble at the slots. This one time I started to do it and I even got the nerve to ask the attendant for some change. That was when he looked at me and said ,"How old are you?" I quickly ran out of the Casino. It was a clean getaway. Somewhere there is a picture of me - "Have you seen this kid, we want to talk with him" I think I actually got a profit of $20 back then. Ah memories...

Thought of the Day
"George, if you're going to be in a creative field, you're going to have to learn how to deal with criticism."
"How's this for criticism... Ummm... You stink. How do you like that criticism?"
- Therapist and George, in "The Shoes"

Since my fans seem to like stories from my life I think I'll talk about spring break adventures. "Which one?" is the question. Here's a little story ya'll may not know. It was senior year of College. Me and 3 other people in my MIS classes decided to go on Spring Break together. We were all in the same group in multiple classes that year so we became fast friends. We would go have margaritas and study for all our finals together. There was Bryan the flamer, Kristine the Saudi Arabian, Chuck the bearded frat guy and me the nerd. So we all got up some money together and paid for a week at Padre Island. There were these student packages that you could get for like $250 that included hotel for the whole week and I think some free drinks and a t-shirt. Our first step was to get from Lubbock to Padre Island. That, in itself, was an adventure. We drove to Copperas Cove,Tx first to switch cars and get Bryan's Dads pickup. I am glad we did. It was during that time period when I started having panic attacks(or so I thought). As we started moving I started to have one. That freaked everyone out a little. It always felt like I was going to shisk so they were concerned and kept on asking me if we needed to pull over. It eventually passed and we kept on truckin. We figured we would spend the night near Austin and arrive at Padre the next day. As we were closing in on Austin it started to pour. Bryan who was one of those aggressive drivers liked to speed the whole way. Well, when it is raining it is not a good idea. At one point Christine needed to go to the bathroom so we spotted a rest area up ahead. The problem was that we were in the left lane and a Semi was in the right lane and we had to exit. So instead of waiting for the Semi to pass he speeds up and passes the semi as the truck heads down a hill towards the rest stop. Needless to say he lost all control and we started barrelling for a little brick building. You could hear the truck wheels squealing from miles away. It started to where we hit the curb and jumped over a medium. Then the mirrors smashed as they started hitting road signs. Then the truck jumped up a hill and landed on the side of a ledge Dukes of Hazzard style. I, as always, got into airplane crash position when the sign smashing started to happen. I was in the back seat and could see the whole thing happening in slow motion. The biggest problem was our terror was not over when the car stopped. At first we were all like, is everyone alright. Christine announces she doesn't have to go to the bathroom anymore and we all laugh. Unfortunately the truck did land on the edge of a little cliff about 10 feet high. We were actually teetering. That was when we were like, No one move. It was just like in the movies when you think the slightest movement will topple you over. We started yelling for help, hoping that someone would see us. Unfortunately no one did. So in the end the Bryan jumps out of the left side really quickly and was able to create a track so we could maneuver the truck off of the cliff. It worked and we gained our composure and noticed how the trucks grill which had big metal bars on them probably saved our lives as it smashed all the road signs. We were a bit shaken, but decided the best thing to do was to party so we got to a hotel and then went to Padre the next day. Padre was really fun. I learned all about alcohol that week. Apparently the big thing was the clubs never closed and you can walk down the beach holding a beer. There were parties all over the place. The hotels, the clubs and on the beach. MTV was there. At one time I was walking home from a club a 4 in the morning and gave Dweezil Zappa a light as we were all walking like drunken zombies. It was weird. The beach was cool as well. I think though Bryan started getting on everyone's nerves as he decided to really flame on. I mean, no guy in their right mind wears a thong that shows the franks, if you get my drift. It was like, yeah we know this guy, but it is not our fault. Apparently he was a good dancer because MTV was going to let him dance on their "spring break weekend" thing. And then he wore that thing and wondered why they didn't let him on the show. Anyway, the girls there were so hot and there was debauchery all around. It was fun to watch everyone. I think I slept during the day and partied at night. As we drove home we stopped at the cliff where it all happened during the day. That was when we realized we could've died. We got back to Lubbock a little wiser about life and ourselves. Last I heard Christine actually married a guy who owned chicken farm. Chuck married his college sweetheart and moved to Indiana, and Bryan is somewhere in Dallas probably dancing at gay bars. I never had the weirdo friends like I did when I was a senior in college. Does Anyone?

Thought of the Day
"Vern, why'd you bring a comb for, you don't have any hair!?"
"I brought the comb for you guys."
- Stand By Me

Sometimes I wonder how boring this is. I got into listening to "pod casting" last night and I realised that not everyone is entertaining. It is like watching reality TV except it is worse. Here I am typing a simple paragraph that may or may not be good. Pod casts are 10 minutes to 2 hours of usually mindless dribble. I say that because I was listening to "picknick" last night that was basically a couple recording themselves eating in the park for an hour. You hear " This is good pastrami" "Yeah I thought you'd like it." "So when do you go in for back surgery?" "Oh next week. " So they take this gem of an MP3, put it on the internet and allow people to search for it on places like podcastalley.com and then you get to listen to the mundane dribble. It is basically a prime example of how people think they are popular and once they get on the internet they realize having a weblog or pod cast is a hard thing to do, if you want to do it right. Occasionally I'll go searching for other people's blogs just to see if it is entertaining. Most blogs seem to be a little entertaining to those who know you, otherwise it gets real boring quickly. If someone didn't know me then this blog would seem like a really bad article. Don't believe those major news sources that sensationalize blogs or pod casts. They are all wrong. A majority of blogs and pod casts out there have only 1 or 2 posts. Then the writer notices how no one visits and they quit. The successful ones are made by people who are successful already and advertise their blogs, plus people already pay attention to them in real life. Anyway, this post was hardly amusing or had any real intrinsic value. Is it worth it? Let me leave with this - The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

Thought of the Day
Once upon a barren moor
There dwelt a bear, also a boar.
The bear could not bear the boar.
The boar thought the bear a bore.
At last the bear could bear no more
Of that boar that bored him on the moor,
And so one morn he bored the boar--
That boar will bore the bear no more.

// posted by Brian @ 8/12/2005 10:46:00 AM 2 Comments

Alrighty then. I have no idea what to talk about to today. Sometimes my mind is a blank. You ever get that feeling? Where you just can't remember something so you just give up trying and then finally the next day you are like "Dom Deluise!" I started watching Cloak and Dagger the other night. A classic computer movie where top secret spy plane plans are hidden in a Cloak and Dagger atari video game. Talk about cheesy technology. It was a good movie though. It has everyone's favorite character. The man who is in almost every movie, Dabney Coleman. If you ever play the Kevin Bacon Game just use ole Dabney and you can't go wrong. Say take Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise was more than likely in a movie with Dabney Coleman and Dabney Coleman was more than likely in a movie with Kevin Bacon. It is that easy. But what I want to know is, who would name their son Dabney? That's not even a real name, or is it? "What shall we name our son?" "How about Dabney, I've always had a fascination for the letter D and you always liked abney. It's Perfect!" He was probably picked on when he was little,"Dabneys got Crab Knees!" The teasing was probably so bad he went by his actual middle name - Wharton. But that was probably much worse. "Hey Wharton! You have a Wart On Your Knee!" And that is what drove him into acting where he could be called Captain Jack Flack instead of Dabney Wharton Coleman.

Thought of the Day
Most people don't know that I am an accomplished dramatic actor... But I've performed in several Shakespeare productions including Hamlet, except in this version, Hamlet lives in an apartment with two women, and has to pretend he's gay so that the landlord won't evict him.
John Ritter

Today I'd like to talk about a new phenomena I've discovered. I think because I've discovered it I should put an official name to it. For now let us call it "Brian's Phantom Rings". That's actually a cool name. It could even be a band name. Anyway, the effect is this - after 6 months of having a cell phone in a single location(like my right pocket) that has a vibrating ringer, mysterious phantom rings will begin to occur. Basically I will be sitting on the couch and it will "feel" like my cell phone is vibrating in my pocket even though no one has called. Specifically the muscle where the phone usually is will twitch just like the cell phone has rung. It feels so much like it is ringing, except no ring tone, that I have to check on it to make sure. It can happen anywhere and it is hard to distinguish between the twitch and the cell phone ringing. My theory is that the muscle where the phone is get's used to the sensations and then mimics it using some neurological thingy. It is a highly specific and technical dowhackey. I believe the gluteus maximus tension tends to enhance this whatchamacallit and the only way to stop it is have people quit calling you. I think it was aggravated by the fact that when I was looking for a job I gave out my cell number on my resume and recruiter's started calling me every hour. That aggravated the condition because at night I started getting phantom rings. As of now there is no known cure and I must live with the ringing in my pants. As long as there is no ringing in my head I'm ok with it.

Big Thought of the Day
Centurion: Hail Caesar.
Pilate: Hail Caesar.
Centurion: Only one survivor, Sir.
Pilate: Thwow him to the floor.
Centurion: What, Sir?
Pilate: Thwow him to the floor.
Centurion: Ah!
(He motions to the two Roman guards, who throw Brian to the ground.)
Pilate: Now, what is your name, Jew?
Brian: Brian.
Pilate: Bwian, eh?
Brian: (trying to be helpful) No, *Brian*.
(The Centurion cuffs him.)
Pilate: The little wascal has thpiwit.
Centurion: Has what, sir?
Pilate: *THPIWIT*.
Centurion: Yes, he did, sir.
Pilate: No, no, thpiwit...bwavado...a touch of dewwing-do.
Centurion: (still not really understanding) Ah. About eleven, sir.
Pilate: (to Brian) So you dare to waid uth.
Brian: (rising to his feet) To what?
Pilate: Stwike him, centuwion, vewwy woughly.
Centurion: And throw him to the floor, Sir?
Pilate: What?
Centurion: THWOW him to the floor again, Sir?
Pilate: Oh, yeth. Thwow him to the floor.
(The Centurion knocks Brian hard on the side of the head again and
the two guards throw him to the floor.)
Pilate: Now, Jewith wapscallion.
Brian: I'm not Jewish ... I'm a Roman!
Pilate: *WOMAN*?
Brian: No, *ROMAN*.
(But he's not quick enough to avoid another blow from the Centurion.)
Pilate: Tho, your father was a *WOMAN*. Who wath he?
Brian: (proudly) He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrison.
Pilate: Oh. What was his name?
Brian: Nortius Maximus.

(An involuntary titter arises from the Centurion.)

Pilate: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
Centurion: Well...no, sir.
Pilate: You sound vewwy sure...have you checked?
Centurion: Well...no, sir. I think it's a joke, sir...like...Sillius
Soddus, or...Biggus Dickus.
Pilate: What's so funny about Bigguth Dickuth?
Centurion: Well,...it's a...a joke name, sir.
Pilate: I have a vewwy gweat fwend in Wome called Bigguth Dickuth.

(Involuntary laughter from a nearby guard surprises Pilate.)

Pilate: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in
gladiator school vewwy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.

(The guard tries to stop giggling. Pilate turns away from him. He is angry.)

Brian: Can I go now sir...
(The Centurion strikes him.)
Pilate: Wait till Bigguth hears of this!

(The guard immediately breaks up again. Pilate turns on him.)

Pilate: Wight! Centuwion...take him away.
Centurion: Oh sir, he only....
Pilate: I want him fighting wabid wild animals within a week.
Centurion: Yes, sir.
(He starts to drag out the wretched guard. Brian notices that
little attention is being paid to him.)
Pilate: I will not have my fwendth widiculed by the common tholdiewy.
(He walks slowly towards the other guards.)
Pilate: Now...anyone else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwend-
(He goes right up to one of the guards.)
Biggus ... Dickus. He has a wife you know.
(The guards tense up.)
Called Incontinentia.
(The guards relax.)
Incontinentia Buttockth!
(The guards fall about laughing. Brian takes advantage of the
chaos to slip away.)
Thilenth! I've had enough of this wowdy webel behaviour. Thtop it!
You call yourselves Pawaetonian guards? Thilence!
(But the guards are all hysterical by now. Pilate notices
Brian escaping.)
You cwowd of cwacking-up cweeps. Theize him! Blow your noses and
theize him! Oh, my bum.
-- Monty Python's The Life of Brian

Today I experienced what is commonly referred to as a wild goose chase. In the end I caught the goose. Basically I am dealing with one of the worst medical insurance companies out there IMO. They are called Pacificare. Stay away, far far away. I am still feeling the repercussions of the Dr. jamming a camera down my throat and telling me I'm fat. With over $7000 in medical bills from that one time, my insurance company decides to pay nothing. Instead of giving the customer the benefit of the doubt they make all the wrong assumptions. First they said I still had existing insurance which was wrong. So they made me get a letter from prior insurance company. Supposedly the prior coverage letter said I was covered until July 31 of 2005 by Aetna. Except for the fact that I had quit that Job in August of last year. Then since they determined that I had a break in coverage that I had to enter the world of medical records hoo ha. Basically they made me, the patient, request records from all of the doctors and labs for every single visit and procedure. Then I was to tell them where to send the records to. Ok, it is abnormal to do that anyways. Shouldn't the insurance company do that? Isn't that part of their job? So the doctors and hospital I talked to told me I needed to get pacificare to notify them and they gave me their address and how to do it. So I had to talk to pacificare again and tell them that what they told me to do they need to do. Then they told me I had some pre-existing conditions and they didn't need to pay my office visits because I had high blood pressure even though I had already paid a co-pay and I no longer have high blood pressure. Also if being fat is a pre-existing condition then so is being alive and we shouldn't be covered at all. Then they basically paid $20 out $880 for one of those bills from the march procedure because I still needed to pay a deductible. But that was where they slipped up in their plot to pay nothing. By paying $20 they proved that they already had medical records for the whole procedure. I called the billing company and they said they sent them medical records in June. I told that to pacificare and finally they agreed to continue processing those big bills. Man, it took over 2 hours and 7 phone calls, 4 to Pacificare to get things straightened out. And I still think I am being shorted by them. I think it has to do with how untrained those customer service people are. Every call I made they asked me to get medical records when they had them all along. I had to make all those calls at work in front of my computer because they are only open when I am working. Now all my co-worker's know I have over $7000 in medical bills. The whole world might as well know now. Thanks Pacificare!

Thought of the Day
"He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he says."
"Oh, no, no, no. I pay what I say."
- Jerry and George, in "The Ex-Girlfriend"

The question as to how to thoroughly soundproof a room has come up. As you know last Tuesday I had a visit from the cops asking me to turn it down. So I decided to do some redecorating and moved my bandroom to the old computer room. I also bought $300 worth of sound proofing foam and glued it up on the wall. Then the music began. Unfortunately at 11:00pm on Friday I get a knock at the door and it is the police again. I couldn't believe it and I explained everything to them that I was taking steps to remedy the situation. I had to apologize again and they said my neighbor was ready to press charges. Egad, it would've been a $350 ticket had they done so. Luckily your humble narrator pleaded for mercy and was granted a reprisal. As I was talking to the police a jet flew over the house at a much louder noise than that of my band. I looked at them with a I'll try look. They then went and talked to my neighbor and convinced them not to press charges. So now we are all figuring out how to completely soundproof a room. I think it would be cool to have such a thing to where no noise could come out of the house at all. I suppose since the band is broke up anyways it doesn't matter, but I know there will be other bands. I am probably a little deaf from being in bands all these years and from listening to the blaring TV as a kid that my mother always had turned up too loud. Almost deaf parents tend to raise almost deaf children... My family does have a tendency to be loud. I remember sitting in restaurants hearing my mom scream,"Excuse me sir! Brian didn't get his plain!" or whenever I get excited about something I tend to speak very loud, almost projecting the information to anyone within earshot,"Did you hear the COWBOYS go to Super Bowl!" I eventually started to get self-conscious of my loudness because people would jump back startled that I was so loud. What is really bad is when I get excited and nervous at the same time I will project a really loud nervous laugh. "I really Like You Too! HEHEHE"

Thought of the Day
"Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before -- flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over."
- Lt. Bookman, in "The Library"

Last night I played Battlefield 2 online with a friend who lives in Wichita Falls. It is pretty cool being virtually connected. Naturally, as I am terrible at games, I got shot many many times. The key is to figure out how to see and shoot the enemy before they see and shoot you. I can see virtual connections becoming more and more commonplace. Eventually with IP voice traffic all "calls" will become free and you will be able to be online with all your friends and family at the same time. With the advent of 3G and video phones, it will be even more commonplace to dial up your family and watch them talk. Although sometimes you don't want that to happen at all. Like yesterday at work when I received a call in the bathroom(I had just finished) and without thinking answered it. There I was talking to my financial adviser's wife when all of a sudden a toilet flush could be heard. I think she might've snickered a little. It is just a habit to answer the phone when it rings. You know what would be weird, if it was always on and never ringed(rung for the retentive). It'd be like the other person was in the bathroom with you. All of a sudden you hear,"How's it going?" and then they hear ..flush... Now that is freaky.

Thought of the Day
"I was clinging to those keys, man, like a branch on the banks of a raging river, and now I have let go and I'm free to go with the current, to float, and I thank you."
- Kramer, in "The Keys"

The following is what our cafeteria is offering today:
Soup du Jour, Tortellini Soup, Fish Tacos over Rice, SW Chicken Burrito Pizza, Sausage & Pepper Stromboli, Panini Forno Portobello, Roast Sirloin of Beef au Jus, Chicken Scallopini, Seafood Salad Sandwich
Did you notice the part about the fish tacos over rice? I don't think the rice is going to make the fish taco taste any better. It's like putting ketchup on a salad, you still have the salad. I remember about 5 years ago when I was on Atkins I actually forced myself to eat a caesar salad. I basically wrapped the lettuce in steak and put barbecue sauce on it. Eating salad was like 'fear factor' to me. Fish is as bad as salad. It goes back to my 'do not eat anything found under the ground or below sea level' rule. I am glad this week I brought bologna and cheese and bread. I am basically making my standard cheese sandwich at work. For a snack in the afternoon I microwave popcorn. I just hope my crunching sounds don't bother my coworkers. Bringing my lunch to work does save me money and time, although the cafeteria does make good bacon cheeseburgers. Great, it's only 9:52am and I am already hungry. I think I'll look at some machine code. That'll make me lose my appetite.

Thought of the Day
"It's Fusilli Jerry! It's made from fusilli pasta. See the microphone?"
"When did you do this?"
"In my spare time. You know, I'm working on one of you George. I'm using ravioli. See, the hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual."
"Why fusilli?"
"Because you're silly. Get it?"
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Fusilli Jerry"

Today as I was walking in the parking garage I stumbled across something I continue to ponder about. There was a car that had windshield wipers on the two front headlights. I thought to myself, waa? To begin with, it seems that even if it is raining that the black wiper going back and forth on the lights would be more of a distraction than a little rain. Then it occurred to me that maybe it is for snow. You know to prevent the buildup of snow during a blizzard. Then it occurred to me that we don't really have blizzards in Texas, so what is the point? It's little things like that that I think about. Other times I get absorbed in my work. Yesterday I was working on a C# object library to create binary excel documents without automation pieces. I must've created over 75 excel documents that didn't work at all. I suppose that is why there are actual components that you can buy that do the same job. I also think about music. Like right now I am listening to some weird 60s guitar music "run run monsoon, Indian dreams, gonna catchem soon that big baboon." What did they smoke back then? Last night the remnants of my band jammed and I invited a friend from Sunday school to jam. Tito brought over some guy he had just met who played guitar. Apparently we were playing too loud because later that evening the cops knocked on my door. They had a complaint. I wasn't surprised at all and apologized and told them to tell the person who complained it won't happen again. They were pretty nice and I was restringing my guitar while I was talking to them and got cut. They were like,"careful there". Also I feel very lucky to have never had a complaint filed against me in the 2 years I've lived here. I guess I don't have enough soundproofing setup. I think I'll get some more and add more insulation to my windows. Back when I lived in apartments I had the police called on me, but they came too late. I had already gone to dinner and showed up to my apartment with them waiting. At that time I was like,"I wasn't even here..." It is pretty harmless though. All they do is knock on your door, ask to step inside and then give a warning. I always ask them who it was that complained. Then they say, "the next time they'll press charges and then you'll know who they are." One time is enough for me. Anyway, now I am listening to 99 Luftballons and can't understand a single word even though I took German in high school. I remember a recent episode of the Simpson's when Homer was renting out his house to Europeans and they forced him to sing 99 Luftballons over and over again. Now that was funny.

Thought of the Day
"You know what I've never understood? Why did they change the siren noise? When I was a kid, it was always 'WAAAAAH WAAAAAH' and now it's 'WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO'. Why'd they do that? I mean, did they do some research? Did they find out that WOO-WOO was a more effective siren than WAAAH?"
"Hey, and what about those English sirens? 'EEE YAAAH, EEE YAAAH, EEE YAAAH, EEE YAAAH'..."
- George and Jerry, in "The Trip"

Last night, after work, when I pulled into my driveway something seemed different. Things in my garage were packed neatly on shelves. The floor was swept. The boxes were broken down. Then I remembered - I have a roommate. There are some perks to having someone live at your place rent free. All of a sudden things get cleaned up. Tito cleaned out my garage. I remember when Peetey came to Dallas and was looking for a job how I let him stay at my small apartment. I would come home and be like "what's for dinner?" As he would do cooking and cleaning for rent. I think I even showed him how to make my famous cheese sandwich. That is a good benefit of roommates. It makes me think about renting a room out just so I can have someone keep order. Although I really do love living alone. I am free to do whatever I please and can lounge around in my underwear if so desired ;-) Last night we ended up watching this movie about an all girl band called "Prey for Rock'n Roll". It was a little risque but the scenery and the band lifestyle was so dead on the money. I can picture ordinary people watching this movie wondering if being in a band is really like that. The answer is yes. Most end up living in poverty, doing drugs and alcohol, getting in trouble with the law and having lots of family problems. It really depends on their commitment to the "band lifestyle." I personally never liked it at all. Ever since I started in bands I always thought most music suffer's because of it. I also blame drugs for the death of the great Jimi Hendrix. People who are clear headed can actually create more dynamic songs. Jimi mightve been twice as creative. That's why punk rock is so simple. Tito is here till the end of the week. I wonder if anything else needs to be organized ;-)....

Thought of the Day
Capt. Clarence O'Connell: You work ten hours, you make forty-six dollars.
Frank Dooley: Now, let me get this straight. If you wanted to work, say three billion hours, I could roughly pull in over twelve billion dollars? If I was eager enough and put the time in.
-- Armed and Dangerous

This last show went rather well. IMO our songs in Ultimate Day are more mature than the ones from Corporate Red. We played them well and didn't have any real noticeable mistakes. I played very well and we got it all on DVD, so if you ever see me and want to see the show let me know. We had maybe 20 people there, 10 of them were for us, so it was a small crowd. But, it was a small place as well. Since we did the early show we went around to the clubs to watch the other bands play. Most bands that are good play in Deep Ellum on the weekends. It is during the weekdays when the newbies come out and the quality decreases. I took our lead singer to his home at the end of the night. Unfortunately he was a little tipsy and gave me bad directions. I ended up in Prosper TX, 20 miles north of Dallas by 5:00am in the morning. Anyway, I went home and got some sleep for the next big day. On Saturday it was Shreveport time, so me and Mr.T and Benz went to Shreveport to do some gambling. I like to play blackjack because it is a thinking man's game. If you know how to play it you can get the odds close to even. I started off by being down by $180. Then we decided to get dinner at McDonald's. Then we went back and I won it all back, plus $100 up. By the time we were ready to leave I was even. So I had to do what any good gambler does, gamble. I had stacks of chips in front of me so I let it all ride. That is the funnest part of gambling. When there is a 50% odds of you winning on 1 huge hand. I had a stack of chips about 5 inches high on one hand. The dealer gave me a soft 17(an Ace and a 6) and had a 7 showing. So I had to keep the hand with the hope that I could at least break even. Then when it got to the dealer she had an ace up her sleeve and I lost against an 18. I walked out of there $350 down, but it was really fun, especially since I brought it to loose anyways. I got home about 1:30am. On Sunday I just went to Church and Sunday School and proceeded to skip the homeless and go home and work on being humble spiritually. I did play volleyball that night and we won the first match because the other team failed to show up. The second match we lost, but were so much better than when we started the season. I probably hit the ground 5 to 6 six times. One time I got the wind knocked out of me and sand in my face. Later on Tito(the singer) came over and is now a house guest staying the week before he goes off to San Antonio where his wife and kids are. It should be interesting having a roommate again. That was my weekend, what did you do?

Thought of the Day
"You know what they say, 'You don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle.'"
- Kramer, in "The Bizarro Jerry"