Here are some personal links for ya'll:

My Band's myspace homepage
http://www.myspace.com/corporatered

The homeless ministry I am a part of
http://rpministry.org

The new computer language I am working on (this is just a template, no content yet):
http://blml.org

Brian

Last night I helped a Sunday School friend move. Most of them are just about out of college and are in that apartment to apartment stage. Man, if I would've known that I could've gotten help like that I would've joined a Sunday School in college. He was in the ghetto apartments and moved just across the street to a near ghetto apartment of a smaller size paying something like $440 a month. It took me back to when I lived in a cheap apartments near AT&T when I came here to Dallas. As I tended to like to move with my jobs my apartment prices ranged wildly. When I started at AT&T it was $880 then I moved to $550 then I moved to $840 then it got raised to $940 so I moved to a $570. In 6 years I lived at 4 different apartments. Then I got the house and here I shall stay. I hope I never go back to apartment living. At my house the music can play all night, the band can practice, and I can watch my big screen TV(8 x 6 feet). I could never do those things in an apartment. Towards the end of my apartment living I got used to actually hiring movers to move me. It was so much better than relying on friends, especially since all of my friends who owned trucks became sparse. The last movers I hired where some kind of weird Christian sect of moving men. They moved me, but they talked about my Jimi Hendrix posters like rock'n roll was evil. They were like,"You know the beats to his music were based on African tribal music and those people worshiped satan." I was like "Well, isn't that interesting." but really didn't care. Then they left a box of my clothes in one of the guys trunks of his car. I had to wait a week for my shirts. I was kinda afraid of what would happen to my t-shirts - cause they had Jimi Hendrix and SRV pictures all over them... I got them back, wiser now that not all moving men are in it for the move.

Thought of the Day
George: Alright, I gotta go home and open up with the house for the carpet cleaners. You know they're doing my whole place for twenty-five dollars.
Kramer: Oh, no, no, no. Not the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners?
George: Yeah, you heard of 'em?
Kramer: They're a crazy religious cult. The carpet cleaning is just a means for them to get into your apartment.
George: So? For a twenty-five dollar cleaning, I can listen to some pointless blather.
Jerry: I do it, I'm not even getting the cleaning.
- The Checks - Seinfeld

That talk about that near miss altercation leads me to talk about a definite altercation. Let me take you back to 6th grade..Jefferson Elementary. My year had already been scarred by the infamous first day of school suit wearing incident and it continued from there. Apparently this kid, Danny Breen, whom I definitely suspected as having stolen my good pen, had a fascination with karate kicks. Naturally I was a constant target of his(Danny) in the playground and so was my friend. It got to the point that I was like,"Ok, if you are going to keep kicking me we need to settle this. After school, in the alley near the school." I figured it would get the point across that I didn't like it even if I did lose. So I was the one to set the fight date and time. At that point in time I had a guy who would hang around me who was an idiot. Let's call him "Jimmy". I think he hung around me cause he lived in my neighborhood and Robbie gave him a beer one time. Well Jimmy decides to show up as support to the fight and bring his bicycle chain. Danny also had a friend and he showed up as well. This being my first fight I wasn't really sure what to do. I didn't know any fight etiquette or anything and I was really nervous. I reasoned that since I asked for it I should be the one to start off while Jimmy swings his chain around and looks at Danny's friend. So I tried to use words at first,"You realize I want to fight you because you keep on kicking me, if you agree to stop kicking me we can end this fight." He didn't seem to say anything and he gets in this karate kind of stance. So naturally I was like what the heck let's do this. I run forward and pick him up by his shoulders and slam him against the fence. I thought," I won!" a little too soon. He pushes me back and then proceeds to start to kick me. I grab his leg and then he uses his other leg to push me to the ground. Eventually I am on the ground and he is on top of me in some kind of wrestling hold. I am speaking and I seem to remember saying,"ow" and "ok, you win". I think Jimmy ended up watching it instead of fighting. He let me get up and I walked home. It was like surreal, all I had to do was say ok you win. However, I was right about the lesson learned and I didn't get kicked after that even after losing. A couple of weeks later I get called into the principles office. Apparently Jimmy and Danny's friend got in a fight and one of them squealed on us. The principle was like,"Now because you were off school grounds I can't do anything, but if you ever fight on school grounds, I'll know." I was thinking," Aha,I knew you couldn't do anything, that's why I scheduled it off school grounds." The person I felt sorry for the most was Danny's friend. He got in major trouble and he really didn't cause any of it. I suppose he was told to stay away from me. I was a "bad seed". LOL

Thought of the Day
"You got a problem with Woody Woodpecker?"
"Yeah, what is he, some sort of an instigator?"
"That's right, he's a troublemaker."
- Kramer and George, in "The Mom and Pop Store"

Well, this weekend was a usual weekend. I jammed with the band, got my car cleaned, tried to give blood, played pool, went to church, went to Sunday school, fed the homeless and watched Judge Dredd. This time when I went in to give blood they wouldn't let me do it. My blood pressure was 150/110 so they gave me a deferral letter. It used to be borderline and I quit taking blood pressure meds because they didn't work, so I am now monitoring it, taking a heart healthy multivitamin and making sure it is not too high. Anyways, Judge Dredd was ok, however it was kind of dreadful. Those stupid plastic helmets had to be the worst. It was obvious they were plastic and there was no way they would ever stop a bullet. I suppose though those stormtrooper helmets looked plastic as well. Anyway, on Saturday as I was walking to Subway I spotted a couple leaving their house in formal wear and realized that it must be prom time. I remember the proms I went to in High School. It always seemed to me that the girls I took to the dances never really wanted to be my "date". They always stressed that it was a "friend" thing. One of the girls I really liked and I think I ended up being her backup. So when no one asked her to the prom she accepted my invitation. My junior prom was really weird. It was a standard dance and nothing exciting happened. I don't even think I got a kiss. I leaned forward and then would get the standard hug. I do remember on the way back from the prom I stopped in at a 7-11 in my tux. As I was walking towards my car this redneck flips me off for no apparent reason. Natural instinct occurred and I flipped him off back. So just as I get into the car he gets out of his car and proceeds to kick the back of my car. His friend then says to me, "he's drunk, just go". I was like,"If he doesn't move I will run him over". Luckily he got out the way and I sped off, avoiding a mindless altercation. I think my senior prom had to be the worst. The girl I went with didn't want to dance, so we sat at the table the whole night not saying much. Afterwards we went to taco bell and talked. It turned out that she was related to the same presidents I was and all of a sudden she thought of me as a "cousin" and I didn't even get a kiss. Oh well, high school was one big charade anyways. I was definitely a late bloomer and glad to be out. Nowadays I hear the girls I went out with became fat and some had children and started knitting. I guess I dodged that one.

Thought of the Day
"Your standards are too high."
"I went out with you."
"That's because my standards are too low."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Fix-Up"

Beware the internet. Sometimes I wonder if this "identity theft" scare has something to it. You will hear stories on the news of people who get their information stolen and get charges accrued to them. Sometimes I wonder if that is going to happen to me. I ran a good detection program last night called "Ad-Aware" and it searches for ad-ware and spy-ware on your computer. Apparently I had 128 items infecting my computer. Egad, someone out there could be me. I hope they know I don't like vegatables. I could lose my whole identity and then have to go into hiding because I won't know who I am. I often think that they may collect information, but actually doing something with it is what makes it illegal. Everytime you hit any major website a file on your computer(cookie) tracks the ads that gets downloaded to your computer and sends the information to the ad agencies. Googles Gmail scans your email and tailors their ads to the content of your email. As a person who knows a lot about hacking I can tell you most information can be seen by others by using what is called a packet sniffer. I tested one out years ago and was actually able to read peoples webmail that was on the network - that was scary. Trojan horse programs and viruses use the same kind of method to see what you are doing online. Nothing is ever truly safe. What scares me is the number of computers out there that don't have any anti-virus software of firewall software. You can get hit just for being online. Even though someone can steal your so called "identity" they can't steal your looks. Unless of course they have plastic surgery. It makes for good science fiction. On the other hand I do notice how the press takes one story and makes it national headlines and then tries to scare everyone by saying it is an epidemic. So it is hard to determine if the identity theft thing is an epidemic or not. Based upon talking to the people I know, it isn't. But you never know. From now on I shall change my identity to someone else. Then when it gets stolen they will have the wrong identity. Just call me Anakin Skywalker, just to be safe. Now that he has changed his name to Darth Vader, Anakin is up for grabs.

Thought of the Day
Navin R. Johnson: Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this
[picks up an ashtray]
Navin R. Johnson: and that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
-- The Jerk

Yesterday I went out to a restaurant after working out. It kinda negated the effects of working out. Anyways the name of the restaurant is Skoots and it is located next to Bone Daddy's on I-75. It took me back to day when the crew (Me, Peetey, Mr. Turkentine, and "Jeff") went to Hooters for the first time. I think it was our freshman year of college, I actually can't remember the day, although I do remember how it was. Expectations were probably too high because Hooters, as we all know, is painted as a bastion of immorality. Nothing is farther from the truth. We walked in and were told by the waitress to sit anywhere. It was pretty much a standard bar and grill, except there was something nice to look at. "Jeff" got a little too excited and those waitresses sure do know how to get someone to give a good tip. Much flirting goes on at those places. In the end I think "Jeff" gave her a $10 tip for a hamburger. I enjoyed the food and the environment. I do remember our first time we ordered hamburgers and they were really tasty. The next time we got the chicken wings and they were the best wings I had ever tasted. I really do think they have good food. I know a lot of people who go there solely for the chicken wings. Although in the back of my mind I am thinking the eye candy makes the food taste better psychologically. It might actually make the palate more palatable. Over the years we became connoisseurs of all of the Hooters around. We even drove to Amarillo and OKC to get the wings. I think we have also been to all of them around DFW. Although as time goes on it has become more about the food. Then Bone Daddy's got introduced and we suddenly were able to find the best ribs in DFW and they also had classier uniforms. Now there's Scoots, which is owned by Bone Daddy's. They are along a similar vein and they really don't have any standard color uniform, which makes the food taste better(good burgers). I think it is odd though at the stigma these places have. I am really a religious conservative(see my misc section), but I know that these restaurants are harmless. Others seem to think it is pure evil. It is about as evil as watching a PG movie with good looking actresses in it. It is not as if they do anything else but serve food and smile. It is a shame though, I've seen many people say how terrible the restaurant is without ever having gone inside. I've seen families and little leagues and all sorts at those places. I wouldn't even paint it out as a bar, it is definitely more a restaurant. Anyways, now that we have a new place to go I have a new temptation to avoid, the burgers.

Thought of the Day
Mrs. Linda Stotch: You shouldn't be working here. You should be learning a skill so you can grow up to be a business woman or even a doctor. Who knows? You could cure cancer.
Porsche: I could cure cancer? Oh-my-God. That would be SO cool. I had a cancer sore on my lip once and it hurt SO bad.
Mrs. Linda Stotch: Oh, never mind. I think Raisins might be the perfect place for you.
-- South Park Raisins Episode

One thing about living in a big city, or near one, is the availability of things that are up and coming. Take the internet for example. I know a lot of people in my hometown who are still on dial-up. Well yesterday I got the newest offering put into my home. That is fiber optic service. Verizon is offering its FIOS internet in my area as a test market. I am now getting 15 mps download and 2 mps upload. For you lay people that is 20 times faster than normal DSL and 300 times faster than a normal dialup connection, all at the same price as DSL. I took the day off yesterday while they were installing it. I was able to watch a movie from movielink.com after 5 seconds of buffering. It took less than 10 minutes to download the 800 mb file at 6 meg a second. I was also able to download a Star Wars fanfilm in 10 minutes that took a normal lan 8 hours. This all brings up the classic online addiction talk. There is a new culture emerging where all guys want to do is play games in a virtual world. But it can also effect girls as well. Back in college there was this one girl who I went out with who became an AOL hacker. She had guys sending her plane tickets and she actually went without ever having met them. I've heard of couples breaking up over internet addiction. My sister used to have a couple living next to her and eventually it became just the wife and a familiar IM message beep heard every 30 seconds. The fact that she kept the window open let the whole neighborhood know when she was getting an IM. When Star Wars Galaxies first came out I took the day off and then proceeded to get my coworkers addicted. Since I was single it was ok, but they had wives and girlfriends and apparently the game became a way of escape. Although after a couple of weeks I lost interest. Thank God for my short attention span, otherwise I'd be 400 pounds and stuck on my couch still playing games. In other news, even after getting a fast connection, the internet still looks the same.

Thought of the Day
"To cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple because I think if they hear you chewing on the other end of the phone, it make you sound casual."
"Yeah, like a farm boy."
- George and Jerry, in "The Phone Message"

Well, I just got through reading Revenge of the Sith and I will give my review. First of all let me state that this might contain some spoilers, so be warned. It starts off just like a classic Star Wars movie with a crawl and then a space battle. However, it seemed kind of like a pointless battle that somehow ends up having a point. It was all by chance that they happened upon the bad guy, most of it was just luck. The dialog was good and I did like how the book told of what ObiWan was thinking. I don't know if the movie will show that. It reminded me a lot of The Phantom Menace when they were flying in Corescant - it had the same kind of feel to it. This book was all about Anakin. That is the one thing that makes it different from all of the Star Wars movies. All the others had sub-plots going. Like the Original with Luke and Han having different missions and Empire with Han being frozen and Luke learning and then finding out Vader is his father. Return of the Jedi had rescuing Han, Ewoks and Leia, and Luke fighting Vader. It had the most sub-plots. The newest trilogy also had in Phantom Menace, Qui Gonn and Obi-wan's relationship, Anakin saving the day and Darth Maul becoming powerful. AOTC had Anakin falling in love, Yoda fighting Dooku and the Clones are introduced. Revenge of the Sith has Anakin loving, Anakin hating and Anakin fighting ObiWan and practically dying. It is also about the other Jedi dying and Padme dying, but most of it dealt with Anakin. There were some cameos, but really this whole movie is Anakin's show. It is really a sad movie and I actually did feel sorry for Anakin during the reading. He was torn in many directions and was basically manipulated into the dark side. It was very good and tied everything from TPM and AOTC together. I finally got to understand why everything happened the way it did. Like how the trade federation and the senate were led by the same person. It never made any sense in the first two movies why Palpatine would do such a thing. Now it does. All in all I'd give it 5 out 5 stars. It is not as typical as I would think. It did lack humor, which all of the other movies had, but I guess a tragedy doesn't need humor. The depth was deep into Anakins psyche. I was mesmerized by everything that happened to him. I can't wait for the movie now. It is going to ROCK! There is one thing that may be of controversy in some fundamentalist sects. The emperor says the Dark Side has the secret to eternal life and uses it to sway Anakin to the Dark side. If you think about it Anakin is the "Chosen One" who desires the ability to stop death and uses evil to try to get to it. Anakin is almost an anti-Christ in the trilogy. I can see right-wing groups up in arms about this. So be forewarned. Personally I think it was added to make controversy to get press. It still is just a movie for Pete's sake.

Well, today at the IRS is tax day. They have booths downstairs and a line is forming. I guess towards the end of the day it will get bigger. I am wearing an interesting shirt. It says "Opposite Day" on it. As a kid I remember Thursdays used to be opposite day. If someone asks you how you are doing say,"very bad". It makes since, since today is tax day. IRS employees are supposed to get their taxes done early and if they don't do them at all they will be fired. I am glad I am not an employee. I always like doing my taxes a soon as possible. Then if I get money back I submit it. If I don't then I wait till the last day. This year I got some money back. I suppose it is justified since I paid $30,000 in taxes last year. Man, I can see why rich people have a lot of deductions, they get reemed. It is worth it to save 3 grand. The lower income level you go the less worth it is to keep track of things. ie. saving all receipts to save $50 a year. I am all in favor of a flat tax. It'll make our systems much easier to code and it will still get a large amount for people who pay more, but it'll be more fair. One thing about both democrats and republicans that bothers me is that democrats idea of rich is anyone making over $50,000 a year and republicans idea of rich is making over $100,000 a year. Then you have republicans who want tax cuts on their idea of rich and democrats who want to raise taxes on their idea of rich and you have single males like me getting scourged on both sides. Now that I have finally crossed over into the republican ideal they announce they want to raise taxes on their idea of rich. I just can't win. Hey, everybody can complain about taxes, from Donald Trump to Donald Duck.

Thought of the Day
"At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year."
"And is there a tree?"
"No. Instead, there's a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting."
"Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch."
- Frank and Kramer, in "The Strike"

Remember when that women sued McDonald's for burning her mouth on a cup of hot coffee. Some people will tell you she got $100,000 others will tell you she got $5 million. The point being it is very easy to sue someone. Anyway I got a couple of potential lawsuits for ya. I guess if I was litigious I would pursue them, but suing someone is something someone should do only if they can't handle the affects of the alleged deed(I should be a lawyer). Anyway, as you know I have been on the Subway diet for 4 weeks now. (I've lost 8 pounds so far). Something new that Subway is doing is giving the person the option of having their sub toasted. Basically they put the meat, cheese and bread in a toaster oven for 30 seconds. Well, not one, but two times I have burned my mouth. I think there are two reasons for this. 1. Apparently their toaster oven is heated constantly, so if they don't take the sub out right away when the alarm goes off it will heat up to a burning point. And 2. Since I don't put vegetables on the sub there isn't any liquid put on it to cool it down. I can see someone else burning their mouth and suing Subway. If I am right then remember this post. The second lawsuit would probably be against Campbell Soup Company, the makers of V8 juice. They have a disfiguring side effect of turning a person's skin orange. My skin has been orange for 3 years now. It is from V8-Healthy Request. Apparently if you drink 2 or more glasses a day your skin will turn orange. My hands turned yellow as well. It looked like I had jaundice, but really it is called carotenemia. They should put a warning label on the bottle. Since I have been on the diet I haven't drunk as much V8 and my skin is going back to normal. There was a point though where my whole head looked orange. My friends made fun of me..mental anguish..blah..blah..lawsuit. The only lawsuit I ever had was against the dating service years ago. They didn't show up to trial and I won. But, I never got my money back so it was really pointless. I had to get the cops involved and pay more money for them to go to their office. In the end it was more trouble than it was worth. So the lesson of the day is "Don't eat subs too quickly and don't drink too much V8". That and a nickel is 5 cents.

Thought of the Day
"Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my bread."
"Bread, two dollars extra."
"Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread."
"You want bread?"
"Yes, please."
"Three dollars!"
"What?"
"No soup for you!"
- George and the Soup Nazi, in "The Soup Nazi"

So I've decided to try another dating service. Match.com did get me one good date, which I guess is more than the $1800 one did four years ago. I had to take a 45 minute personality profile from eHarmony.com. So far 3 out of 6 women it has found have been teachers and 1 has been too far away(south of Dallas) - so I closed those. I blame my mom for making my personality match teachers. I guess my personality matches them, but my experience deters the match. Leaving me 2 out of 6. As usual their profiles seem somewhat deceptive. One of them stresses that she can take care of kids and cook. It's like their applying for the job of my wife. There needs to be a checkbox that says "not looking for marriage". Granted I will probably be the last person to get married, but I am soo fine with that. I am usually too busy and enjoy life too much to have to comprimise anything. I still wouldn't mind dates or just a girlfriend that just wants to have fun. I find it amazing also how some of their profiles stress how they love to shop. As a guy that scares me, I get a high maintenance kinda feeling about that. I watched the end of the Miss USA contest the other night. Those are the kinda girls I want(if you wanna talk about high maintenance). I remember watching it all as a kid thinking, "they are hot" and getting the ole societal view of women from that. Now I suppose my mind thinks of women like that as the ones to get. Reality is I should try em all. Although I am more of a window shopper than someone who tries something on. Who knows, maybe a cook is just what I need. As long as their ain't no vegatables...

Thought of the Day
"I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."
"Really?"
"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."
"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"
"Yes, we did."
"Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."
"There isn't?"
"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."
"I can?"
"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"
"What?"
"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"
"Boy."
"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."
"I'm glad we had this talk."
"Oh, you have no idea."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Engagement"

Today I'd like to talk about something that is on the mind of many Americans and that is the subject of. Eh, I got nothing. I apparently am not feeling very creative today. You ever wonder if Jimi Hendrix would've been as creative as he was if he wasn't on drugs? He was noticed by the labels before he got on them, but when he went to England to become famous was when he got on them. Maybe at that point it was all downhill creatively. However in looking at old concert footage he seemed to be shredding quite well. Maybe the two are separate and he could've done the same with or without it. Being in a band I've seen my fair share of users. Actually truth be told I am probably 1 of 10 people in Deep Ellum who have never done a drug in their life. The only thing I notice is that they all seem slow. Like mentally slow or something. Potheads seem to have no sense of responsibility, like they loose track of time. I do know their brain cells are destroyed far more than drinking or cigs. There is also a very distinct trait of the people who do it habitually. Their voice really slows down. You can actually see their brains try and forms words. "Hey,, Man,, Give,, Me ,, a Cheetoh"

Thought of the Day
Dr. Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice: steak or fish.
Dr. Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
-- Airplane!

This weekend was pretty good. On Friday I did nothing and it was everything I thought it could be. I thought about going to see "Sin City" but it turned out I wasn't that motivated. I slept in till 11 on Saturday, then I donned on my workout gear and walked to the Subway near my house. That turned out to be a 15 minute walk one way. It wasn't that bad as the weather is really nice this time of year. Then I went home and had to get ready for my movie watching party that night. I went out and bought a couple of Star Wars beanbag chairs for my living room, cause I wasn't sure if there would be a lot of people there. I also arranged my new Star Wars toys as well as clean the house. Then people started arriving around 7. They kept on arriving and then I had about 20 people trying to fit in my living room. Some of them sat on chairs in the kitchen. I think some of them left since my place was at full capacity. I guess I need more beanbag chairs. Anyways, we ended up watching Billy Madison(hilarious) and The Princess Bride(chick flick). I think everyone had a good time. I got some comments like "nice setup you got here" and everyone noticed my Wonka Bar and Christmas Story Leg Lamp. Those are very kitschy. Sunday I did the usual church/Sunday School/Homeless thing. This time I was on the ministering side of the homeless and went around and shook everyone's hand and asked how they were. I even helped setup a tent. If you are ever homeless make sure to at least keep a tent. Later that night I went and played pool with a buddy, then I got home about 10. That was a long day. So I ended it by watching a movie about serial killer Ted Bundy. He was a very bad person. It was kinda like watching a car wreck. You flip channels and see something weird so you end up watching it. The movie was pretty good directorial wise and it is cool how he gets it in the end. Now I am back at work ready for a fun-filled week of documenting code.

Thought of the Day
"Every woman on the face of the earth has complete control of my life. And yet, I want them all. Is that irony?"
- George, in "The Baby Shower"

Here in the computer world our lingo is short and confusing. Knowing the difference between DTS and DST is a must. Knowing that JavaScript is completely different than Java is something that a basic programmer should know. I have 3 years of C# and 6 months of C and C++. My VB skills are tops and my VB.net skills are a little lower. Here at the IRS they have approximately 3,090 acronyms. CMM is a good one. It is basically the ability to follow process. If you get to CMM level 2 that shows that you can repeat a process. It's business speak for "I have no idea what to do next." One of my favorite acronyms is AGE. That stands for ACRONYM GLOSSARY EXPLANATION. Of course we have to have an acronym to explain our acronym explanations, otherwise how would we know what they mean? Then there are the acronyms that you have to know the context. ASAP is As Soon As Possible but it also is ANNUAL SUITABILITY ANALYSIS PROGRAM. ASP has approximately 5 definitions. Another immature acronym is BOOB or Block Out Of Balance. I think that is an error message that some horny programmer created. CRUD is one used in programming alot. That stands for Create, Read, Update and Delete. CRUD is put into almost every program. FTP is not only File Transfer protocol but also Failure To Pay. Better not get those confused. One thing that confuses me as to why we would have it in out Acronym glossary is LWSB or "LION'S WORLD SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND (LITTLE ROCK, ARK)". I guess the XYZ PDQ training in elementary school taught us all that acronyms can save lives. I think though, we might've gone a little overboard with our acronyms (ALOWOA).

Thought of the Day
"Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."
- Newman, in "The Ticket"

Well, it has started happening. Something that has been prophesied about since someone went into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters. Star Wars fans are getting in line. It's only a 7 week campout. They have lined up in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater in LA. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a huge Star Wars fan. I own almost all of the action figures and have about 3 working light sabers, but I can't believe people are stupid enough to line up for it this early. When Episode I premiered I ordered tickets online for all of my coworkers and we saw it in a theater that was only half full. However, I suppose if I was out of work I would line up. I bet at least half of the people in line are on unemployment. I remember how here in Dallas for Episode I there was a tent setup outside of the local theater. I remember going to see a movie a week before Star Wars came out and as people passed by the tent some wise cracks would be uttered. "Geeks" and "Nerds" were the most popular. The funniest thing about this is that Grauman's has mentioned that they won't be playing Star Wars when it premieres. So they are lining up AT THE WRONG THEATER. The fans say that is what happened last time, but because they were in line the theater decided to premiere it. But Lucasfilm says they won't be premiering it there as well. I bet the fans would be really po'd if it wasn't premiered. I can just see a deranged fan harassing George Lucas - "I waited for 7 weeks, 7 weeks, and you didn't premier the movie. 7 weeks of my life wasted!" Heh, I think the 7 weeks are wasted even if they do see the premiere. I wonder if I get a line setup at the local Studio Movie Grill will they premier it? Who's with me!

Thought of the Day
"Do or do not, there is no try"
- Fried Green Tomatoes

Today I'd like to talk about something that only males can understand. Something that has been the bane of our existence from childhood. That something is zippers. As I was walking to work this morning I felt a breeze in a place where breezes should not be felt. Had that breeze not been there I am sure I would've embarassed myself later. Ladies, the secret lingo is this, "XYZ PDQ", "The cow is out of the barn, I repeat the cow is out of the barn" or "Your barn door is open". As a kid those phrases would be uttered by classmates as a code to let them know their zipper is unzipped. Zippers can be rather complicated, even if you are 29. It really depends on the angle of the zipper and what type of pants you are wearing. Zippers on jeans have been architected to disallow "accidents" al la something about mary. But zippers on dress pants and khakis apparently never went through such testing. I have a pair of pants I rarely wear as a result. This one time that pair of pants cleverly got in such a position that if I pulled the zipper up I would be in pain and if I pulled it down I would be in pain. I had to get pliers and pull it out. Talk about an ordeal. Then there is the safer method - the button fly. The problem with the button fly is that no one has invented a code for an unbuttoned button. Sometimes just one will be unbuttoned, but it is enough to let the breezes in. I think I'll come up with the code. Let's call it "The latch is off the fence, I repeat the latch is off the fence." or "Your barn door has a hole in it".

Thought of the Day
"Right before he died, he said 'Win one for the zipper.' That man's name was George Zip."
- Airplane 2

Today I think I'll talk about the latest happenings around the world. The MJ case still has me baffled. I mostly think he's guilty but then I also think he meight be innocent and the victim is trying to get some money. I wouldn't want to be on that jury. Especially since the cops created a law specifically for MJ - using past allegations as evidence - to bolster their case. I think it is funny how he has "fans" cheering him into and out of the courtroom. If he is found guilty will they still cheer? They should make double sided signs in case he is found guilty. The first side will say "Wrongly accused". If he is found guilty they can flip it around and it will say "Jailbait". In sad news the Pope has passed. Here at the federal building our flags are at half mast. I wonder what the criteria for putting it at half mast is? If Jerry Falwell passes will it be put at half mast as well? He is another religious leader, although probably a far less humanitarian one. I just looked it up, basically it is a presidential order, so it must be ordered by common sense. The smoke thing is kind of wierd. Using white and black smoke to signify a new pope. From what I hear the people who pick the pope like to take their time. Someone should put a starter log on the fire and make green smoke. That'll confuse everyone. On to gas prices. I can't believe we can't get oil prices down. In talking to someone who is looking for venture capital he said that VC's are jumping all over energy saving ideas. I can see why. The person who builds a car that can cheaply run on something besides oil will make a fortune. Whatever happened to the steam engine? Maybe that'll make a comeback. I often wonder what the startup costs for offshore drilling is. All you need is a really long drillbit and a floating oil tank. I guess you also need to know where the oil is. I can see me owning an offshore drilling rig. I wonder what they do in hurricanes?

Thought of the Day
"Why don't you get a pair of white shoes, move down to Miami Beach and get the whole thing over with?"
- Jerry, to George, who is buying a toupee, in "The Scofflaw"

This weekend I recuperated from Friday's outpatient surgery(my cyst turned into an abscess so they had to cut it open). Anyway I didn't do much at all, which was a change of pace. I did put all of my DVD's into a spreadsheet. Apparently I have 474 DVD's and a majority of them were from the 80's. I am getting ready for this Saturday night. It will be another Sunday School movie night at my place. Luckily the maid comes this Wednesday so I won't have to do much cleaning. The one thing about my Sunday School is that I am not really attracted to any of the girls there. Most of them are struggling in college and they are all kinda homely looking. The big thing is that none of them seem interested in anything I do, like bands and computers, which is a prereq for going out with me. I suppose if I was after a wife and kids I'd consider them for their other skills, but right now I just want to have fun. I am thinking at my age the really good single girls are the ones who have already been married. I know it sounds weird, but if they had the complete package enough to get married once maybe they know the process better. Anyway, in going through the movies, the only way to figure out what they are is to play them in the player (or open the player up). So I ended up seeing about 100 movie intros. The worst thing has to be those DVDs where you are forced to watch previews. Come on people, if we want to see previews, we will actually go to the movies. I have now seen enough paramount logos, dimension films logos and 20th Century Fox logos for a lifetime.

Thought of the Day
"What's a Logo Daddy?"
"Something like a flounder"
- Smokey and the Bandit

When I was a kid living in Alaska I used to get into trouble alot. I was pretty rambunctious and was very lackadaisical. I think I visited the emergency room in 3 separate incidences. The first one was pretty traumatic. I was at a cub scout meeting and I sat down on my knees and glass went through my kneecap. The weird thing is that I didn't really feel any pain, but when I saw that piece of glass in my knee I then proceeded to wail. After getting stiched up in the ER I went home, traumatized by the stitching experience - I could feel the needle every time they brought it in. The next time I was at home and my dad's pocket knife was on his dresser. I proceeded to open and close it, not knowing that there was a spring action on it. The knife flipped back and I cut my middle finger across the center of it. I was bleeding all over the place. My dad was on his computer and I was like "I cut myself". "Go get a band-aid". Mom walks in and I believe dad got an earful about not paying attention. This time they stitched it up again and put my middle finger in a splint. It looked like I was flipping everyone off, but since I was so young I never got the joke. The third time has to be listed on one of life's most embarrassing moments, of which I shall share with you dear reader. We were in the process of moving to Texas and we had tons of boxes stacked up in the living room. I took it upon myself to climb to the top of the boxes and see how high I could get. We also had a large wooden bookshelf that I was steadying myself on. Well, when I grabbed the bookshelf it wasn't stable and the whole thing comes crashing down on me. It sounded like a freight train. Mom comes rushing in to the room and I am holding my new wound. Apparently the object of this incident was to cut my, how shall I say it? wee wee. It was bleeding and mom didn't have the car to take me to the emergency room. So she found a neighbor to take us. All the while she embarrassed me by telling the whole world how I had hurt my wee wee. So we got to the ER and everybody in the waiting room got to hear how I hurt my wee wee. Then the doctor did as well. Thank God I didn't need stitches. They gave me some ointment and I was told not to go swimming. After those moments I can safely say my wee wee did survive. My hubris, well that's another story. What was your most embarrassing moment?

Thought of the Day
"It's amazing how many beautiful women live in New York. I actually find it kind of intimidating."
"Well, you're just as pretty as any of them. You just need a nose job."
- Audrey and Kramer, in "The Nose Job"