Testing 123... is this thing on? I have a paper cut between my index finger and middle finger. Just to let the world know. It is on my left hand. I notice now that keyboards and typing is actually a left handed thing. You would think that both hands do the same work but it appears that the left hand does about 25% more work because the most common letters seem to be on the left side of the keyboard. I guess that is why that guy Dvorak invented the Dvorak keyboard. From computers to guitar, my hands are my livelihood and my entertainment. In other news, you are probably wondering how the meeting went with the IRS/MSD. I tell you I heard things like,"if only we had a team of Brian Bass's" "I told my boss that you do twice the work of a normal developer so it is worth it to get you back." "The IRS told me - get Brian Bass back." "Everyone is excited to hear you could be coming back." I even got a "you're looking good." Even though I have gained 10 pounds this year. They do love me over there. Luckily I have this blog and I looked back to June 2005. As I look back I can see why I left. We went from 2 to a cube to a desk farm of 25 people. Then the biggest factor of leaving was I was bored and had no motivation. I told that to them that last night and they promised I would have a lot of work to do. So what do they do? They offer me a lot more money to come back. I told them my minimum to go back last night and I think they are going to bite. I will find out on Thursday. It get's better though. It is a 1099 contract. Meaning I could form my own corporation. I have been thinking about doing that for a long time and am about consider doing such a thing. I've talked with other contractors who do that and I realize it is the best way to manage the money. You basically form a corporation and give yourself a lower salary from the corporation. Then all business expenses go on a corporate card and are tax free and your personal tax bracket get's lowered. Plus if a problem happens at work you are not as liable as a sole proprietorship. It requires a little more care in keeping track of all of the books, but I think that is exactly what I need. So I am excited. I already have a name and a URL. If they bite I will take it and could be back at the IRS as early as Monday. Things happen so quickly in my life. This year has been a whirlwind. I can't remember a year that had so much happen, half negative/half positive. The Nokia subcontractors refuse to budge on anything. They are like - Isn't it better to have a job. I have to Fax the acceptance letter to them by noon. Little do they know I have one waiting in the wings. Once I get the offer I will then use that to see if the subcontracting company will move. We shall see. I am playing cat and mouse right now. The problem with managers and subcontractors is that they think I am not serious for some reason. They underestimate my negotiation skills and don't realize when I give an ultimatum. Only when I walk out do they realize this. Such is the life of Super Brian Super Contractor. Dum da dum dum.

Thought of the Day
Brian (as Mark Twain): Well kids I better be getting back to the 1800's in my time steamboat (goes behind the desk).
Brian: Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?
Chris: Yeah! Captain Crunch was here!
-- Family Guy

I can't think of a thing to say...batta bing. So I shall babble a little bit. The IRS is meeting me today to give me an offer to come back. One of my friends said make them double your previous rate. I am planning on doing that. I was unhappy there. However, just like an abused wife MSD says things will be different this time and that I will actually do real work. We shall see. My current contract was bought out yesterday so I need to get an offer from the new company just to continue working where I am at. That kind of sucks cause I might have a break in medical coverage and I am having heart problems. For the past week being on this blood pressure medicine (Tarka) I have been having arrhythmias. Basically it feels like my heart skips a beat and I have palpitations and feel faint. I then checked my blood pressure and it was 180/80 and 170/70. It was like that for 4 days straight. Then I had enough and I have now quit taking my medicine and I am back to my normal (150/90). Anyways I am trying to get an appointment setup with a cardiologist. So we shall see. As Christmas is coming people often wonder what to get me. Most people are like ,"What do you get a guy that can get what he wants?" So I shall tell you. This year was a bad year for me financially because I had 4 out of the 4 emergencies happen (medical, dental, computer, car). So, as usual, monetary contributions to the Brian Bass "Human Fund" are welcome. Mom wants to know what else to get me. I'd like the Seinfeld Season 4-5 DVD set ;-) Sometimes it is better to tell people what you want. Other times it is better to let them figure it out. Peety and I do gift exchanges each year just in case we get stuff we don't like we are assured that each other's gift will be cool. Peety usually tells me what he wants and I let him pick me a gift as he puts a lot of thought into it. I've gotten a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket and A Christmas Story lamp. Those are cool. If all else fails, gift certificates are good. Like to Amazon.com or Best Buy. I like figuring out what other people's gifts should be. I remember one year we got everyone vibrating pillows. As I look back, that was a pretty funny gift. Only now do I realize that Grandpa probably didn't like all of those golf gifts we'd give him. Later on I wasn't sure if he liked the sausages we'd give him every single year. I think he liked the sausages a lot better than the golf nick-knacks. It is a good idea to tell someone you don't like those gifts, because they could be repeated and then you are stuck. As a kid I remember digging into the cornucopia of presents and pulling out all of the cool toys. As an adult I am like, clothes sounds good. Maybe I should ask for toys again.

Thought of the Day
Peter: It's already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.
Brian: All? Peter, only only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family.
Peter: No, the rest were from the family. Weren't they? (Pauses.) Oh crap...since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"?
Brian: They had a meeting about it last night.
Peter: Why wasn't I told?
Brian: They sent you a card, but it said "for Peter" on it so you must of thought it was from you, so you didn't...you know, its just easier to call you stupid.
-- Family Guy

And now for the Thanksgiving update with Brian Bass. On Wednesday I had an unexpected holiday(I didn't do any work at all). I went to my step-brothers house on Thursday for Thanksgiving. My nieces and nephew are growing up fast. They are still cute though. I then ate 2 Turkey legs and rolls. The one thing my mom knows how to cook is meat. I suppose that is why I like to cook meat. Anyways the turkey was very juicy and tasted good. I was never a fan of white meat though. Dark meat you don't have to put salt on to make it taste good, white meat requires salt. I then watched the Cowboys lose. It was a good game they just were unable to capitalize on Denver's mistakes. Then I jammed with my 8 year old nephew Dillon. He has been playing the drums since he was 2 and is really good. I can see that he will be in a band when he is older. It was a pretty relaxing Thanksgiving, nothing eventful or out of the ordinary. On Friday I went to a jam place in Irving and jammed with some musician friends. The Jam place charges $10 and you get to play on all of their equipment so you don't have to bring your own, except for a guitar. Other musicians sit in and jam with you as well. I heard some "that guitarist is good" comments. Saturday I went and saw the new Harry Potter movie. It was better than the last two. It needed just a little more editing but it was still pretty good. They didn't spend enough time on the ending comparative to the rest of the movie though. On Sunday I did the church/lunch/homeless/dinner thing with some people from my Sunday School. This time we got a donation of 300 double cheeseburgers from McDonalds. We even had another Sunday School class helping us. They were from the Singles II group. Singles II is the more desperate of the Sunday School classes. The age ranges from 30 to 40. If I wanted to get married quickly I would join such a class, but no way, I just wanna have fun. So I was setup as a bouncer to make sure people didn't cut in line, since we had about 10 girls doing the serving. We got rid of all of the burgers and the homeless were still coming. Luckily we had 600 cupcakes so at least they got something. It is weird in talking with some of the newbie's. It affects you when you first see humans living in such conditions. After a while you get used to it cause you see it all the time. But for the newbies they learn to be thankful for what they have. After a while you start to resent what you have, then you accept it as undeserved blessings and it strengthens your faith. There is a psychology to it all. Anyway, something funny, I saw the family guy last night and it was hilarious. After this Thanksgiving I think I will joining the NAAFP. The National Association for the Advancement of Fat People. The problem is, at the meetings, we keep breaking our chairs.

Thought of the Day
Tom: And now to our weatherman Olie Oliver for the Blackie-Weather Forecast, Olie?
Olie: ITS RAININ' SIDEWAYS!
Tom: Don't you have an umbrella?
Olie: USED TO!
Tom: Where is it now?
Olie: INSIDE OUT TWO MILES AWAY!
Tom: Is there anything we can do for you?
Olie: BRING SOUP!
Tom: What kind?
Olie: CHUNKY!
Tom: Thanks, Olie. Up next, a pig that won't eat Jews.
-- Family Guy

Here I am working from home. It is kind of hard to do with so many temptations around like guitar and well, not working. I had a cool dream last night. No not that kind. I dreamt I was sitting at a desk in this huge office with windows and the sun was shining through the windows and I had two computers I was working on. I thought this is perfect, I have no reason to go anywhere else. I then saw a clock that had years on it and it went from 1 year all the way to 30. That dream was so obvious. If I ever did find a job that was such then I would quit being a contractor and settle down. In other news last night I had a wedding to go to. It was for a good couple I have known since I have been going to Church. I actually liked the girl before he asked her out. As usual I didn't make a move. But now that I think about it, all of the girls that I was interested in and could've made moves have ended up being different than I thought about in the first place. It ended up good that I never asked any of them out. Anyways, I went to the bachelor party on Saturday and talked with Chris and he said he loved her without a doubt. So I ended up writing a cheesy love song called Without a Doubt, and for some reason I figured I would surprise everyone and play it and sing at the reception. I suppose I had an ulterior motive of scoring points with all the single girls in our class. The song actually went well and I got complements from everyone like I was a good songwriter and "I didn't know you could sing" So it went well. I helped fill the grooms truck up with foam peanuts. I talked with some girls, but never really got any vibes. The problem with Christian girls is the guy has to make ALL of the moves and will never get any signals. Sometimes we even get reverse signals, like avoidance, because they get scared. I am screwed in that arena. Maybe I'll stick with bar chicks, although they can be too aggressive. There needs to be a happy medium between bar chicks and church chicks. Wait, I got it, work chicks. No that won't work, not because of work but because there is no such thing as women programmers. Dating friends friends? Nope, when it goes bad you hear about it for a long time from the associated friend. Online Dating? Possibly, I had a super good date a year ago from the net. My last round of dates fell flat though. I think I will continue to try all avenues and one of these days I'll find the right one. My thought is I will find a chick that I can't help but to ask out. Anyways, I am practicing work avoidance so I am babbling. It is nice working from home. It is 1pm and I am in my PJs typing this. I am listening to Smash Mouth and just thought about that music lawyer I met when I was in Los Angeles who discovered them. That was a good trip. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I am thankful for so much, friends, family, a good career, a nice house, a nice car, the ability to play guitar and of course my PJs. I am not going to post until next week, so everyone have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Thought of the Week
"He took you to Rage-aholics? Why?"
"Probably because this whole universe is against me!"
"I think you've got a little rage."
"I know. And now they want me to bottle it up. It makes me so mad!"
- Jerry and George, in "The Apology"

Thanksgiving is coming. The goose is getting fat. Time to put a penny in the old man's hat. If you haven't got a penny a half-penny will do. If you haven't got a half penny then God bless you. I still remember that song from years past. I just did some research and now realize I have been getting the words wrong all of these years. It is actually a Christmas song and not a Thanksgiving song. It is supposed to be "Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat..." and somehow I have distorted it. I remember though looking at old video tapes of when I was a kid and my sister and I would sing Thanksgiving is coming. I suppose we liked Thanksgiving alot. I love it for 2 things - Dallas Cowboy Football annd turkey. There is nothing like a turkey leg, or the cowboys winning.

I'm bored at work today so I figure I'll go into the Bass genealogy. Last year I talked about how my namesake John Alden was at the first Thanksgiving. So for you genealogy buffs here it is:

My dad, Dr. Bass (1937), father is
George W. Bass (1907) father was
Harry Boyslton Bass(1874) in OKC father was
Josiah Quincy BASS(1845)(Oklahoma Land Run) father was
Samuel Bass born in 1807 father was
Josiah Bass(1768) father was
Samuel Bass(1724) father was
Samuel Bass(1691) father was
John Bass(1658) mother was
Ruth Alden(1637) father was
John Alden(1598) -- Mayflower born in England

It is kind of funny. I like to think about it, but I don't like to talk about it because people think you think you are better than them for something as stupid as a genealogy. I remember talking to a German friend who said ,"everybody in America says they're from the mayflower." I held my tongue, but thought, a lot of people probably are since it was almost 400 years ago. But on the flipside it is fun to think of the heritage especially on Thanksgiving when 381 years ago they ate goose with the Indians.

Then if you want to get more haughty you can look at how John Adams and John Q. Adams are related to John Alden:

John Adams (John Adams -> Hannah Bass -> Ruth Alden -> JOHN ALDEN)

I just found this tidbit:
Dan Quayle (James Quayle, Marie Cline, Delia Burras, Oscar Burras, Sally Standish, Peleg Standish, Zachariah Standish, Zachariah Standish, Ebenezer Standish, Sarah Alden, JOHN ALDEN)

Basically they all inbred back then. Then there is the royal line on my Grandmother's side. I think though she might've had an attitude about it:

My dad, Dr. Bass (1937), mother is
mother is Louise Scott
mother is Luna Vickers DAR ID Number: 91158
mother is Margaret McIntosh (b. 1849)
father is David Simpson McIntosh (1814-84)
father is Paschal Paoli McIntosh (1769-1833)
father is Ebenezer McIntosh - was one of the men who, dressed as Indians, entered
the warehouse at Boston and threw tea into the harbor.

Wife is Elizabeth "Betsy" Maverick
father was Jotham Maverick b.1660
father was John Maverick 1635
father was Elias Maverick 1604
mother was Mary Gye

Mary Gye has a whole website dedicated to her royal lineage which spans through the inbreeding of thousands of years. They call it the Mary Gye Experience:
http://alumni.media.mit.edu/~kristin/fambly/Indices/MaryGye.html

Last but not least I leave you with the signature of John Alden. There is no doubt we are related. My handwriting is almost as bad as his, I suppose because we are all mutants:



Thought of the Day
"Are you Master of your Domain?"
"I am King of the County. You?"
"Lord of the Manor."
"I'm Queen of the castle!"
- Jerry, George and Elaine, in "The Contest"

And now for the weekend update with Brian Bass. This weekend was jam packed. On Friday I went and jammed with Mr. Turkentines new band. I was able to jam a little, but soloing over a slow Cm#7 progression is a little hard(given time to figure out the scale I would've rocked). Anyways, then we went out to Greenville avenue and saw my ex-drummers band play. It was a pretty good cover band that played 80s music. They were a good band, but it was sad that the women there were the ones in my supposed league, they were old lookin and loved 80s music. I just can't accept that as my equal. It seems that those are the kind of single women I run into when I go to bars and see bands play. I can see me going after 25 year olds. That is more my style. I think I will stick with Sunday School. On Saturday I played Frisbee golf. I hadn't done that in 6 months. Back in college we all used to go to the local Frisbee golf park and play. It was free and it was relaxing. My arm is still sore from Saturday. Saturday night I went to a bachelor party for a guy from my Sunday School class. He is getting married on Tuesday. We were at Dave and Busters and played pool, had free barbecue buffet and pretty much just talked. Sunday I went to Church/Sunday School/Lunch/Watched the Cowboys win and then saw Sir Paul McCartney at American Airlines Center with Peetey, his wife, and his friend. Paul was fantastic. I had I paid $125 for a really good seat. The guy sitting next to me paid $300 for his on Ebay. I thought, hmm, I should've bought more tickets and sold them. I saw Paul McCartney 3 years ago and he was great. This show was on the same level. He played a lot of Beatles songs and his good solo stuff as well - like Live and Let Die and Band on the Run. Peetey and I were wearing our shirts we got at the last show and we got a couple of complements from some old ladys about how cool our shirts are. From my previous post I think that makes it not cool. Ok, Paul and Beatles music is really part of an older generation of people, however Peetey is the biggest Beatles fan I have ever seen. I remember in high school people would walk into his room and notice every square inch was covered in Beatles posters. "Sooo, you like the Beatles?" would be what people would say, sarcastically. He has Beatles toys, Beatle books, Beatles records, tapes and CDs and every new Beatle thing that come out. I started off as not liking the Beatles as I was more of a fan of rap. However hanging around him I came to be brainwashed by overexposure to the Beatles. I finally turned to the Beatleside in college when my roommate kept on trying to turn me to the Rushside. I finally had to admit I liked the Beatles as I battled the rush fans. Now I like them both. The fact that I was singing along to Paul's old 1950s tune, "Til There Was You." shows that I am still on the decline and will be in a nursing home in a couple of years.

Thought of the Day
"Oh, what's the point? When I like them, they don't like me, when they like me, I don't like them. Why can't I act with the ones I like the same way I do with the ones I don't like?"
"Well, you've only got another fifty years or so to go before it'll all be over..."
- George and Jerry, discussing women, in "The Old Man"

Today is Friday. I remember growing up it was always "Thank God Its Friday!" even at the Episcopal school. Then that phrase became an acronym "TGIF" and it became corporate. I think Apple-bees took it. I also think ABC took it as well. I used to look forward to the weekend because it wasn't school, now I look forward to it because it isn't work. Speaking of "cool" I remember how adults would try to take things of kiddom and try to pretend they were cool. Growing up in the Rap age there was nothing more embarrassing than hearing a teacher rap. Even hearing Bill Cosby rap just seemed wrong. I suppose that is why whenever I hear Karaoke I get embarrassed for the person singing (unless they are good, which is rare). Then there are the hip words. I was from the pre-ebonics age so our words were a mix of 80s and 90s. Things started off as radical and ended up sweet. I have no idea what the cool words are for today. All I remember is seeing the Bush daughters say "shake it like a Polaroid picture" at an event and thinking, what? Now I hear "all up in my biznezz" and "badunkadunk". I think "badunkadunk" means a large rear end. And of course about 3 years ago "bling bling" was in. Then parents and politicians started talking about "bling" and that quelled that teenage uprising. "Boo-yah" is another one indicating victory. "Chassy" is a hot chick. I am looking for some chassies this weekend. "Crackalackin" - whats going on. Another favorite is my "fo fo" or .44 calibur gun. It makes it seem like the gun has fluffy poodle parts on it. It's my "fo fo". Gonna shootemup with my "fo fo". The key to making these stupid words obsolete is for adults and parents to use them. Thus taking away all coolness away from them. I suppose though the chassy with the large badunkadunks will say we are all up in her biznezz instead of saying Crackalackin. The more you know....

Thought of the Day
But language is a treacherous thing, a most unsure vehicle, and it can seldom arrange descriptive words in such a way that they will not inflate the facts--by help of the reader's imagination, which is always ready to take a hand and work for nothing, and do the bulk of it at that.
- Following the Equator, Mark Twain

Well, I got the results from the doc back and I have Diastolic dysfunction. Diastolic dysfunction occurs when the ventricles of the heart become relatively "stiff," and thus it becomes relatively difficult to fill the ventricles with blood in between heart beats. Apparently one of my ventricles is "stiff". The doc said it was like a body builder who is so muscular he can't reach around his back. Basically it is a result of my high blood pressure and he put me on a BP medicine called "Tarka". In researching this it said it was a result of chronic high blood pressure - aka me. It also said it was common in elderly women. Yeah, I am an old women. All I need is a cane and I can be like mom... shudders... The good news is that the doc said the rest of my heart was strong and by regulating my blood pressure it should reverse it. Had I not found out about it I could've had Diastolic Heart Failure and died. Wonderful. I am starting to realize a couple of things. The first one is that I need to not stress out about work and other things. The second on is I need to relax more. So I shall. I remember as a kid I was the king of relaxation. The whole world could come falling around me and I would have rose colored glasses on. Mom and Robbie would argue all the time and I would be playing my harmonica. Melinda would stress about grades and I was like - eh, I am going to a college that only needs a C+ average, why worry. Part of being relaxed is definitely being lazy and ignoring things that could stress you out. Ah, I remember mowing only one strip of the yard and taking a break every 5 minutes. The breaks were relaxing. Hanging out with friends was relaxing. Hot tubs, now they are relaxing. Hmm, maybe I should get a hot tub? Medical bills first. Other things are relaxing as well. I haven't had a massage in a long time. I used to get one before Corporate Red's big shows. Maybe I'll do that again. I refuse to go on another diet. I have been on 3 diets this year alone. That is enough. Playing guitar - now that is relaxing. My medical history reads like an old lady. Eh, screw it. Worrying about my health also causes stress ;-)

Thought of the Day
"These guys are pretty cool - even though they're sixty."
Beavis & Butthead (about Aerosmith)

Sometimes it is hard to think of things to say. I could go into some offbeat news. Like how the Australian government is telling people that meat that glows in their refrigerator does not cause food poisoning. Apparently it is some glowing bacteria inside the steak. I think that would be cool to see. "Give me a steak, and make it glow." I remember when I was a kid and we moved into the new house I got a whole bunch of glow in the dark paint. I decided it would be cool to paint on my ceiling and wall with glow in the dark paint. So I did just that. It was really cool. During the day no one would notice(because it was white). But then I added some glow-in-the dark red and it became noticeable. The paint was basically smeared on the ceiling and made all of these weird patterns. It was like sleeping under a glowing cloud that you could see anything you wanted. In the end I had to paint over it all. Then I got a surprise - the glow paint was still glowing through the new paint. I always say that whoever moves in to that house next will have a lot of surprises. I can just a kid taking that room and screaming "A ghost! A ghost!" and the parents run in and turn on the light "Look. No ghosts." Then they leave and turn off the lights and it is still there. LOL

Thought of the Day
"The future sucks. Change it."
"I'm way cool Beavis, but I cannot change the future."
Beavis & Butthead

Hmm, as I sit here noticing my paycheck has finally arrived I think back to all those years in college when I lived off of $375 a month(thanks Dad) for all bills(electric, gas, cable, car insurance, and food). I look back and am totally amazed. Lubbock was pretty cheap though, although my car insurance cost twice as much as it does now. I think, wow, how did I survive? Obviously help from my family and student loans worked for my housing and school(thanks Family and Government!) But still, to think that amount is a livable amount. I think if I made $4500 a year now I would be living in utter poverty and probably have just enough money coming in to support whatever habit I had developed from living on the streets. I suppose that is why the corporations decide to throw "spring break parties" and give you a free "spring break 96" t-shirt if you fill out their pesky little form for a credit card. The credit card companies actually had booths set up on campus and would have tons of free "giveaways" every week just as long as you fill in their applications. It didn't even matter if I had a job. As long as I could put down a family member who worked on the application they would give me a credit card. Wow, I look back now and can see how deceptive they were, but at least I got a cool t-shirt. Then when you get the card, with a $2000 limit, it is like you just earned half of your yearly income. I was like - oh goody, let's see, I need these magic cards, this cd, I need to go out to eat 4 times a week and can now really go grocery shopping. Gotta go to One Guy From Italy, Spanky's, Homeplate Diner and Gardskys Loft and hang out with all the other college kids. Ah, those were good times. But as usual you get your first job out of college and think you have it made when it dawns on you that you have to pay everything back. I can see now that I paid too much for my first apartment. At the beginning it was rough. I cut up all of my credit cards but my gas one, so low and behold I started getting my food from Chevron. I lived next to a Chevron so all I had to do was walk into the gas station pick out a hamburger and pay for it with my Chevron card. Peeteys mom would send me care packages when they heard about that(thanks Peetey's mom). That was kind of funny, in an odd sort of way. That was when I decided that it was ok to be in debt as long as there was enough money to live on. That was when I moved to a cheaper apartment and finally developed a system. And so here I am 7 jobs later, 7 years later making more than 25 times what I made in college and am still looking forward to the paycheck. I have learned how to manage it all, but it is like a little hole you dig in college can become a bigger hole as the more dirt you put into it, the more dirt you have to take out of other holes. Eventually you have 3 or four holes you take the dirt out of and transfer it to other holes. If I was smart I would "pretend" to live poor and cancel everything: cell phone, maid, internet, satellite, yard, gym, dating service, eating out, home phone service, tithing and charities, this web site, my retirement account, my disability account, and even satellite radio. That would save me probably a grand a month and it would take me only a year to get back to even. Of course the following things would happen - no one could contact me at all, my yard and home would look like crap(hey its my lifestyle my friends demanded I get a maid), I wouldn't be able to do or listen to anything newly entertaining(probably die of boredom) and God might get mad at me. So I figure I won't do that and keep doing the system. The key to getting out of all debt with the system is to have no emergency expenses for years - like medical, dental, computer and guitar emergencies(of which I have had 4 out of 4 this year - a bad year). That is when the income builds up and you can pay off a hole all at once. In the mean time disposable income increases. It is an interesting balance. Oh sure, there isn't a bit of advice I haven't heard, especially from people who aren't in debt. They say, "Pay off the lower ones first and it snowballs", or "pay off the higher interest rate ones first then it snowballs." I've heard "pay yourself first then pay God then pay the companies." All are good advice, but most people don't seem to realize that disposable income is more important than any debt ever. The key should be to build up money first then worry about debt second. That's my theory anyways. The biggest key to the whole system is to work, get a paycheck, live within it and put a little aside each month. That is the American dream. Wow, I am babbling. Can you tell I am bored at work and I like pretending I know what I am talking about by saying "The key to blah blah is blah blah"?

Thought of the Day
"It's not good for friends to talk about money, it can affect the friendship."
"I tell you how much I make."
"And I'm always impressed."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Cadillac"

And now for the weekend update with Brian Bass. This weekend started off slow with me going home to work on Friday afternoon. I finally finished my big report Friday night at 7:30. Then I got a call from Turkentine who convinced me to go see "Queen for a Day" a Queen cover band. They actually were quite good. The lead singer looked and sounded like Freddy Mercury to a tee. They were lacking in the Queen harmonies but otherwise it was good. On Saturday morning I was awakened and told to go help Benz with his new house. They were about 40 minutes away and he needed faux wood flooring put in. Now, I am not the most handy guy around. Matter of fact I can barely use a hammer. I think us intellectuals have a loss in the handiwork world. Anyways, at one point they wanted me to saw a board. I thought that was really cool, but I had never done it before. Luckily I did not lose any fingers. I decided to take my older role of assistant to the supervisor and made sure they did it right ;=) Anyways I had to leave early because I had a wedding shower to go to. Apparently in the Sunday School world wedding showers are co-ed. This time I brought my guitar and at the end did a rendition of Guns n Roses Sweet Child of Mine and changed the lyrics to talk about Chris and Nelly - the lucky couple. Then I did an encore of "Sweet Home up in Heaven." Yes these songs are particularly cheezy, but I give the crowd what they want. Then I had to go home around 6 because the band was supposed to come. It finally happened - I jammed. It had been a month since the last time I jammed and I missed it. We rocked and did blues and metal and everything in between. Then we went to a club and saw my old band's drummer play in an 80s cover band. The guitarists were good, but the sound man was terrible and they had to cut a set short to try and figure out what was wrong. In the end they played unmic'd. I got hit on by an old lady. I was sitting at the bar watching the band and my crew was off and this big lady sits down next to me and says,"you here with a girl?" I say "no" and look away. Then she says, "You afraid of women?" I say "nope." and then she says "What do you think of me?" Talk about a loaded question. So I say,"You look like good women?" (I was thinking good ole big women but censored myself). Then right away I noticed the drummer was pointing at me to get him a beer so I quickly popped up and said my drummer friend needs a beer and got one and left the bar. I knew I had wingmen in the crowd. On Sunday I was tired from the past two days so I skipped Sunday School and the homeless and just went to church and lunch with a friend from Sunday School. Then I got invited to go to a club in Deep Ellum where they were having a fantasy ball. Let's just say that this place was risque. There were things there that would be on HBOs after hours shows. Everyone was dressed up in leather and various sundry costumes. There even was a "dungeon" where various things happened that I won't discuss. It was kind of like a circus. One women got up on these chains that hung from the ceiling of the club and spun around on them till she was near the ceiling. It was something to see. I even talked with a couple of women who knew an old friend of mine. I think they were more than friends but they were cool anyways. You know sometimes I think I am the most conservative Christian you will ever meet, other times I think I am more liberal than all of my friends. I suppose if you average it all together I am a moderate ;-) This weekend was busy. In other news one of my coworkers quit from boredom on Friday. That is sad. I get notices everyday about jobs opening up. My contract ends in December so I will gauge how everything goes the first week of December. We shall see.

Thought of the Day
"I just have to do all the jack-hammering myself."
"Oh that's nice, kind of a hard-labor fantasy camp."
- George and Jerry, in "The Pothole"

Yesterday's post leads me to remember those high school years. It seems my crew is relatively the same. There's Peetey and Mr. Turkentine - I've known them since 7th grade. There was "Jeff" who I barely see nowadays and "Josh" who used to hang out on occasion. My sister and her friend Kristen even hung out with us. Having a home with a swimming pool was a good place to hang out, especially during the summers. We would have lots of other hangouts. It started off at "The Dock" - a little dock off of Lake Wichita near the stadium. No one was out there so we all would go out there with our respective girlfriends and talk(well, I wasn't much of a dater but they would). Naturally since we were in high school there was always beer and fun. I never drank until I was 21 and it was never beer. But they did and we all had a good time. Then it evolved into going out to Taco Bell and Taco Mayo for cheap dinners. When you could get 2 tacos and a drink for $2 that was all that was needed. Taco Mayo was even cheaper than that, although rumors of "dog meat" were greatly exaggerated, I think. Then we would go to the park at Jefferson Elementary, where I married Kristen and "Peetey" by saying ,"By the power vested in me, which I have none, I now pronounce you man and wife". Then there were other hangouts that would take longer to get to. We would go out to Lake Kickapoo about 25 minutes away and hang out. Then we would also go to Lake Arrowhead on the weekends and camp-out in tents. That was fun. There was also Parker Ranch road and Turkey Ranch road - those were the make-out places. I never really went there, except when it snowed cause I liked the scenery. There is a story about Parker I'll let Peety tell if he wants to, something about his car getting stuck in the mud and the cops knocking on his window. We also used to go shooting guns near the railroad tracks. I am surprised we never hit any telephone wires. It seems that most of our time was spent trying to be somewhere else for a change of scenery. I can see that. Ah youth.

Thought of the Day
"Whoa. Is this like the weather channel?"
"Yeah, eh heh heh, the forecast is partially cool."
Beavis & Butthead

It was the year 1993. Beavis and Butthead were popular and my crew decided to get CB Radios. That spelled doom for all of the truckers out there. Somewhere out there is a trucker on a mission to find us and beat us up. Well, hopefully not 12 years later. Wow, 12 years later, that just sounds bad. Anyway it was me, Peetey, Mr.T, "Jeff" and sometimes "Josh" and others who decided to do something called "CB Tag". Basically you put a CB in your car and drive around town and find a spot to hide. You then give the others a general location of where to find you and when they do find you they flash their lights and can yell "Tag" over the CB. It was actually kind of fun. We even had fun with the truckers. As fans of the MTV show Beavis and Butthead we knew how to sound exactly like them. Such things could be heard over channel 2 - "heh heh heh truckers suck." "huh huh huh yeah, truckers suck." "My name is cornholio I need TP for my bunghole - heh heh heh" and then all of a sudden this can be heard - "You boys need to get off this channel. Are you Ghey or something?" Then of course we'd respond with "hehehe hey butthead this guy said , get off" "yeah, get off". That kind of dialog would go on for about 10 minutes. One time "Jeff" was doing it and pissed the trucker off so much he said,"I'm gonna triangulate you and come get you." Then Jeff got scared and said,"Guys, hes going to triangulate me, what am I going to do?" as we laughed, knowing it wouldn't really happen. Another time Peetey was getting a trucker mad and as he said ,"If I find you I'm going to get you." He looked over to his right and noticed a trucker mouthing the words to that line. I think he sped off, not knowing how close he was. Some of the truckers thought it was funny. I know Grant did. He would die laughing every time he heard us doing it. I don't think I have a CB anymore. I suppose you could use cell phones to play tag, but there wouldn't be anyone to get mad at us, and that seemed half the fun.

Thought of the Day
"Uhh, I have an injury."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I have this great big crack in my butt."
Beavis & Butthead

Well I just got back from the docs and have to go back again later in the day for more tests. What a pain. Basically my BP was 140/90 which is what it has been ever since I graduated college despite any BP drug the doc puts me on. So I have to go back this afternoon for an ECG. I feel just fine though. Matter of fact I feel better than I have in a long time. So even if my high blood pressure isn't fixed I am not worried. I seem to remember 140/90 was "borderline" from those walmart blood pressure thingys. I told the doc that but he said,"maybe 20 years ago now 115/75 is ideal and every 10 points off of that is a double the previous chance of having a heart attack. So since 140-115 = 25 and 90 - 75 = 15 which equals out 60 points divided by 10 means I have a 6 times greater risk of having a heart attack. Like if I had a 1% chance before I now have a 6% percent change because of the BP. Anyway, whatever the doc thinks is best. I would question his motives, but since I have a 10$ copay I guess it is no skin off my back. I often wonder what one should do before tests. I am thinking the optimum is to do whatever is normal. I've thought, what about getting a massage before going to the docs? Would that skew the tests. Or what about exercising before the ECG - would that make it appear better than it actually is. Should one start a diet and exercise plan right before getting checked? I usually drink a "No Fear" around the time of the ECG to wake me up, should I do that or would that show the doc my heart beating too fast? What about wearing relaxing clothing like sweats or something, would that skew his results? Then again I guess if you always wear sweats the test would be indicative of your lifestyle. Although none of it probably matters. I could be naked and my blood pressure would be the same (don't try this at home, well, try it at home, just not in public ;-) Anyway as I look at my past medical history I can see that most of my ailments have not had any doctor cure, but time. I am still feeling those medical bills from way back in April from that procedure where I paid $3,000 and the doctor told me I was fat. I remember that facial pain I had for 6 months. I went through all those facial x-rays and was told I had some kind of neuralgia and was given a weird drug. It turned out I had a botched root canal and the pain eventually went away when all the nerves died and I got another tooth pulled. Or when my stomach muscles were strained from lifting music equipment and the doc thought I had a hernia so I had to go in for more tests. Or when I had a "panic attack" and was given xanex only to find out years later that it was GERD. I guess though in the end the credo of all doctors everywhere seems to be "Better safe than sorry" Which is a good thing. Ooops forgot something funny. I was driving to work today and a big guy was in a car with a personalized license plate that said ,"AUTHOR". I thought about rolling down my window and asking for an autograph...

Thought of the Day
"Do I need a shot?"
"Not shot. Dog bite. Woof woof, not bang bang."
- Elaine and a doctor, in "The Glasses"

Hmm, what to talk about today? I think I will talk about something that most people look away from. Something that is talked about only in the office corners that needs some light put on it. That something is contractor prejudice. It is only a matter of time until we start to get our water fountains. Now that I think about it, what is so bad about having my own water fountain? That seems like a benefit. Now if they wouldn't let us drink water, that'd be bad. It is so weird to think that a white collar white guy can be oppressed but it is true. It is because I am a "lowly contractor". I've seen this at every company I have ever worked at since I started in the business, even when I was a permanent employee. For starters you are segregated and are not invited to meetings. They are for permanent employees only. Then you cannot participate in employee functions like Christmas and Halloween parties. You obviously don't get any perks like gym access or parking access. At the IRS permanent employees got single window cubes while us contractors were fit 20 in one large cube. Also, if there ever was a disaster drill they would only let the permanents come back in first, then the contractors. The permanents don't stop at that either. They love not telling us things we should know, like what we need to do the job, if our contract will be renewed, or if they are thinking about bringing us on. The segregated meetings get to me. As if their knowledge is so important our little heads would explode. It is not as if I don't know exactly what is happening in their system anyways. Then there is the talk - "He's just a contractor - we can't tell him that." "Sorry your not a perm you can't come in here." "Those contractors think they know it all." "If he sucks we can always let him go." All that kind of stuff. I suppose it is not really bad, but it is a prejudice. Then again I guess I am prejudiced against perms since they think they have job security when they could still be fired at any time. Also a difference in $40K does not equal out to their benefit packages, especially since I have good medical and dental coverage through my contracting company. I should start a contractor freedom movement to demand equal worker rights. I can see it now... "No meeting notes without representation!" We could throw our contractor badges that single us out into the little stream that runs by my building. Or even more daring, start showing up to their meetings and have a sit-in. That'll show them ;-)

Thought of the Day
"Oh look Elaine, the black and white cookie. I love the black and white. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?"
"You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Yeah, I think it'll be a very smooth transition for you."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Dinner Party"

Well this weekend was rather uneventful. I did get my new computer setup. The only real thing I lost were digital pictures for this year. I had backups of all of my old pictures. It still sucks cause I had lots of pictures of my family from Grandma's funeral to Grandpa's funeral. Anyway, I got this thing called a game-drive that copies all of my game CDs to the hard drive so that when I want to run a game all I do is click on it instead of having to hunt for CDs. I spent Friday night putting Windows Xp and Office XP on my PC and then all day Saturday putting games on my PC. This has got to be the fastest computer I have ever seen. It is cool having 2 processors cause when one is crunching away on hard the drive I can run other apps like internet explorer and windows media player and will experience no slowdown. The graphics are unbelievable, specifically Battlefield 2 and Doom 3. I could see cracks in the sidewalk as helicopters targeted me in and shot me. Top that with the FIOS internet connection and you've got a super-server. I was downloading windows updates at 1.5 meg a second. On Saturday I also got a haircut. The remnants of my band was supposed jam but that never materialized. On Sunday I slept in for church but went to Sunday School, Olive Garden, fed the homeless and went grocery shopping. I didn't get home until 7pm on Sunday. My Sunday school class is pretty cool. About every 6 months a couple from the class gets married. This upcoming Saturday I will be playing guitar in their wedding shower. Feeding the homeless was hectic. Apparently there are hurricane victims down here. We gave out about 400 sandwiches. One of them was telling us all to make sure our homes are hurricane proof. One guy told me about how everything was stolen from him and he lost it all. One guy was talking to me about how he got autographs from Richard Petty and all of the Nascar guys. Other people will talk about how they only need money for a train ticket. One other guy who rode a bike was talking about how he will be nationally known for setting up a homeless center. They all have different stories to tell, even if they aren't true it is interesting to listen to. Then there will be the street preachers that raise the Bible high and wail about being saved - I have nothing against that but I think people will listen more if you feed them (Jesus gave people food as he was preaching). Then there will be other groups that show up to feed, like the Franklin Covey cult from a couple of months ago. There will be other church groups that feed as well. Then there will just be the people off their rocker who continuously laugh at nothing or sleep on the sidewalk all day and night. Then there will be the stoned/drunks who slur their voice and can barely stand in line. Then there are the prostitutes that want food as well who talk about trying to find their baby's daddy. One guy started talking about how it was his first day out of the penitentiary and he was looking for work. Then there are the black Muslims that walk around in suits and ties. It doesn't appear that they actually are doing anything but hanging out. Then there are the troublemakers who try to start fights with anyone. The cops do hang out near them just in case. Who needs reality TV? I've got the homeless shelter.

Thought of the Day
"The train was so crowded, I had to sit in a seat facing the wrong way."
"Oh, I like that. It's like going back in time."
- Rachel and Jerry, in "The Hamptons"

So here I am sitting here at work. Pondering stuff. That seems to be the kind of guy I am. I am a ponderer. However I do have a tendency to do stuff eventually. Work is going OK, we are in a lull so I have been stuck doing documentation. I am the highest paid secretary you will ever see. It was like this at the IRS too. You code a little and then you end up writing for months on what you did. Back when I was more of a peon all I did was code. Anyway, the lull should be over in a month and then they will either renew my contract and I will be coding again or I will be on the hunt again. This time I am not worried, because I have had recruiters call me everyday since I started this job. Also even the IRS wants me back - that won't happen unless they change things. I think I am better suited for small to medium companies, things happen quickly with them and there is always something to do. I am also pondering life. You know where I am headed. I always ask that question. Probably more so than anyone I know. I like self improvement sometimes, other times I like self satisfaction. I heard the chick that I had the tiff with on this blog a year ago still doesn't like me. That is to be expected but I am like George Costanza - everyone must like me ;-) It seems lately coworkers and friends thinks I am wrong about stuff. I am really starting to not care what people think anymore. Not everyone is right about me, matter of fact most people are all wrong. I've been pretty repressed most of I my life so who I am most people have no clue. Even about things like being a Christian - about half of my associates have no idea. Then I think about the band and all of the fair weather friends I had. Even ex-bandmates seem to be gone from my life. Then I think about the non-fair weather friends like Peetey and Mr.T and even Benz. Those are the real friends I will have until I die. I guess because I have them to compare all my other friends to they don't match up. I even think about the old coworkers I had that I used to keep in touch with. I have 7 years of good coworkers to talk to and they seem to be off doing their own thing. I used to think everything is a two way street, meaning if they wanted to communicate they would call me and vice versa. I guess its time for me to make the calls. Wait a minute, this whole post wasn't funny. What am I doing? Let's see, when I was a kid living in Alaska there was this tree I liked to climb. It had big branches and the bark tasted like bubble gum. One day I climbed too high and it took over an hour for me to psych myself up enough to climb down. Eventually I got down, but now that I think about it, the hard part should've been going up the tree and not down. How weird is that?

Thought of the Day
"Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."
"What happened to the doll?"
"It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born... A Festivus for the rest of us!At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year."
"And is there a tree?"
"No. Instead, there's a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting."
"Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch."
- Frank and Kramer, in "The Strike"

Only in Texas could you see what I saw this morning, well maybe Oklahoma. I saw a Texas speed bump, aka a dead armadillo on the road near my house this morning. The cool thing was that the vultures looked like those cartoon vultures and were circling and landing and dining. The funny thing was as my car swerved to avoid it the vultures swerved to avoid me. I guess they learned from the armadillo what not to do. It reminds me of a time when I was infatuated with all things Texan. I was 9 and we first arrived from Alaska. My school had a big "sesquicential" celebration for when Texas was 150 years old. All of the kids were told they could perform skits and such. Many a 9 year old dressed up like girl and sang the yellow rose of Texas. I, on the other hand, decided to make a comedy skit about all things Texan. I can still remember a little of the dialog. There is little Bri standing in front of an auditorium saying the following," Here in Texas we like our Daahog to sit in our pickup truck and listen to country music with us. Then we go pick PeeeCans and hope the Texas flies don't get us. Y'all know that our manure is the smell of money. I'm fixen to go git nekkid so y'all better not watch. Yee Haw." and other such ramblings. Now that I look back I think I was making fun of Texans. I'd love to see that again. Naturally our mom made me listen to country music, which is why I like the songs 9 to 5, Islands in the Stream, Toot Toot, and Elvira. I think maybe I just liked Dolly Parton. Melinda even drew a KLUR logo and sent it into the local radio station. I think they took her idea and made it into a billboard and she never got any credit. When we came here we all got boots. I remember pictures of me wearing boots and shorts in the summer. I think I was born without fashion sense. The biggest thing about Texas really is the way we speak. I am now proud of saying "Y'all". It makes so much sense. Y'all is a good word because it shortens two words into one making sentences shorter without losing meaning. You and All. I think I'll come up with another one. How about Donwangowork for "I don't want to go to work". Or Illgitthphone for "I'll get the phone." Eh, I'll never remember that. Y'all come back now, ya hear.

Thought of the Day
"I still haven't heard about that job."
"Yeah, that's a tough one. What are you gonna do about that?"
"I have an idea."
"Yeah?"
"I show up."
"Whattya mean, you show up?"
"I show up! I pretend I have the job. The guy's on vacation. If I have the job, it's fine. If I don't have the job, by the time he comes back I'm ensconced."
"Hmmmmm.... Not bad."
"What's the worst thing that could happen?"
"Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with your tail between your legs."
"Yeah, so?"
"Yeah, I see what you mean. I forgot who I was dealing with."
- George and Jerry, in "The Barber"

I bought Star Wars Episode III yesterday and watched it again on my big screen. It is still very good. I noticed that Lucas did not release the digital version but the analog version instead, so I guess we can expect the Digital version out in a special edition in the future - probably when HDTV DVDs become popular. You can tell it is not the digital version by looking at the spaceships in the background. In the digital version it was all clear and you could see for miles. In the analog version it was all blurry. I did spot the millennium falcon in the background though. My order of movies has changed. So here is the order of the movies from best to worst. I know I will hear it from the peanut gallery on this one:

1. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi -- It was the real final episode, it had it all, lightsabers, space battles, ewoks, jabba the hut, bubba fett and darth killing the emperor - which means so much more now that I've seen the whole sixology.

2. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith -- It contained the best plot, showing Anakin finally make the switch to Darth Vader. It was really good and had the best lightsaber battles I have ever seen. The effects blew all of the other movies away.

3. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back -- It is cool in that it shows yoda training luke, han getting frozen, and it ends on a downer which was different. Also the I am your father bit was very memorable.

4. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope -- The original had the intros of all the characters. It was amazing for its completeness as a movie. Episode IV is the only one out of all of the movies that stands alone without any other explanations.

5. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones -- This was cool in its plot. It showed how Anakin can become darth vader. It positioned everything for the next movie. It also had a cool lightsaber duel at the end. What made this one drop so low is that Episode III totally blew this one out of the water.

6. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace -- Now that I look at the title I am wondering what the phantom menace was - was it the emperor or the other darth? I thought it was the best at the time, but after watching it over and over again I can say that this was a kiddie movie and all of the others had cool battles. The only thing really cool about this was anakin flying the podracers and the lightsaber fight at the end where Qui Gonn dies. It was also way over-hyped.

And that's my order 6,3,5,4,2,1. I really think Episode III tied everything up perfectly. The only downer about Episode III was the dialog and acting. But if you look at all of the other movies, they all had bad dialog and acting(sans Harrison Ford).

Thought of the Day
"Oooba Ooooba Oooooba" -- Who said that?

Well, It's that time of year again. A good time of year. First I'd like to remind everyone that on the right side of the screen is my Amazon search box. Christmas presents are a good thing ;-) Whatever you are looking for you can put in the search box and it will bring up the product on Amazon.com. As long as you stay on Amazon.com you can buy anything and it will count towards my storefront. So far I have earned $25 this year from this site. Also, clicking the Google ads puts a penny in my pot. However since I pay $12 a month for this site it is definitely a loss leader, but I do all this for fun anyways.

Last night was Halloween. Last year at the fall festival I was attacked by kids inside of one of those bounce houses. I would say,"time to go" and they would look at me and say,"no no no no" So this year even mom was giving me advice, "Brian, tell them you will tell their parents if they don't do what you say." I thought that might work so I might've tried it. Luckily this year my class ran the pre-school soccer goal. It was a very easy job. Basically you hold a bucket, a 2 year old puts their ticket in your bucket. You place the soccer ball in front of them, say "kick it" and it goes in the goal or off to the side. Then you say "yeeaaa" and give them 2 more tries. Then you say "go over there and get some candy." and they run to our candy bucket. It wasn't bad at all. For the girls I saw princesses, ballerinas and angels. The guys were way more varied. I saw all types - superheros like spider-man, Darth Vader, Jedi's, Buzz Lightyear, fireman, train conductors, ninjas and of course Dallas Cowboys. I thought my house would be egged since I wasn't there, but as I drove back from the fall festival I noticed most of the houses in the neighborhood had their lights turned off. Something tells me they were all at the fall festival. It makes sense. There was over 1 million square feet of rides and games. I don't even think I saw it all. It looked like there was about 100 separate inflatable houses and then there were dunking games, gladiator fighting, sumo wrestling and face painting things. Outside there was an inflatable pond where there was live channel catfish. Kids would catch a big catfish and get a trophy and they'd throw the catfish back in the pond. They also had minnow racing. That was interesting, kids would take a minnow and put it in the start section of a mini racetrack and they would shake it up and the minnow would swim to the end. All that was missing was Mexican rooster fighting and a bookie.

Thought of the Day
Jerry: Are you sure you want to get married? I mean, it's a big change of life.
Elaine: Jerry, it's 3 a.m. and I'm at a rooster fight. What am I clinging to?