As I sit at my desk I can't help but look up at the yellow bicycle helmet that is sitting on my monitor that has a sticker on it that says "Home Depot" Customer support. This helmet is legendary and somehow it ended up at my desk. The story of the helmet goes back to my cohort Boris. He has been working here for 5 years now. One day he leaned too far back in his chair, fell backwards onto a bookshelf and the bookshelf fell forwards on him. It was like everyone was quiet, hear a loud "boom, crash", and then come running and see Boris stuck under the bookshelf. The next day the group got him a yellow bicycle helmet for his clumsiness. Thus the yellow helmet gets passed to the last person who was clumsy. The "Home Depot" sticker goes to a time when another coworker was at home depot and grabbed some long 2x4's off of the shelf. As he turned around he hit some other pieces of wood smack into his head, got knocked out, hit the floor and started bleeding all over the place. Then a little boy comes running, or something, and somehow gets hit with the falling wood from the shelf. Everyone was ok, just stunned. Thus the yellow helmet got transferred to him. As the latest recipient of the yellow helmet I would like to thank my sister, since her clumsiness must've inspired me. I got the yellow helmet by picking up a 21 inch monitor to take to my desk. (When someone gets fired we all farm their desk for supplies). I didn't realize how much of a weakling I was and as I was walking the monitor slowly fell out of my hands. Luckily a fast coworker got under it and grabbed it 6 inches away from hitting the ground. And thus I now have the yellow helmet. I am glad I didn't have to get knocked out to get it.

Thought of the Day
"Maybe it'll be fun having a pet?"
"It's not a pet. It's a wild invalid. And it knows that I tried to kill it. As soon as it gets better, it's gonna gnaw my brain out in my sleep."
- George, about the squirrel he has to care for, in "The Merv Griffin Show"