Ah yes, the Ruby Story. I still hear jibes about that incident to this day. I often wonder why. Let me take you back. There I am in 4th grade at the Episcopal School. I got a little pudgy around then cause I had figured out how to make my famous cheese sandwich and had it for dinner alot. Well I guess 4th grade is the definite beginning of the "awkward" phase for most kids. I think the "awkward" phase lasts until 9th or 10th grade. At that point your zits have decreased and socialness has increased. But I digress. My mother liked giving us these Time-Life series of "Science and the Future" books in which many technological inventions were discussed. They talked about everything from cloning to computer graphics to space. There was this one article that talked about lasers and how they were made. I read it and noticed that lasers were made out of rubies. So I proceeded to come up with the idea that I could in fact, make a laser as long as I had a ruby. I then proceeded to tell the whole 4th grade class this information. Why? I have no idea. But the class was all abuzz. There were some skeptics, "You can't make a laser!" they would say and then I would say "Oh yes I can! I just need a ruby. Anyone got a ruby?" and so it was on. Except, I really knew I couldn't do it. So the next day I bring in my mothers parabolic mirage thing and show the class how cool it is and say "this is like a laser." "No its not!" they say. And thus my bragging about what I couldn't do ended. Funny how bragging is especially wrong when you can't even do what you say you can do. I often wonder why I did it. I think it must've been the kids in 4th grade were oftly mean, ehem, mr.benz? I would now like to announce to the world that if you gave me a Ruby I would not make a laser, but I will accept it.

Thought of the Day
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?