So as the guys discovered last night, I am on vacation. Not your usual vacation, I am actually still going to work. I am just on vacation in my after work activities. No RideSearch, no working out, just enjoying watching movies and tv and eating what I want. I call that Brian Normal. Of course it is going to end one way or another, but I need a respite from stressing myself out about weight loss and development. That usually happens before I try something new, because I realize I shouldn't stress myself out about those things. I need to change my mind about them.

So what is next? Well, aside from my new invention that pulls your keys out of your pocket every 5 minutes, forcing you to bend over to pick them up, I am concentrating on rewiring my brain. I think that over the years of wishy washy dieting and exercising a hatred of it has developed that is unhealthy. It makes even doing any bit of exercise and dieting a psychological chore. Although I tend to like the pocket idea. I think I'll call it the pocket exerciser, pocket pusher or pocket rocket. Bending over every five minutes is sure to burn calories. Needs more tests. Any takers?

So why rewire the brain? Well, over the years I have done less and less activity, to the point that even bending over or swinging a bat or running on a treadmill produces sweat, raises my heart rate, makes ankle joint pain and seems tedious and boring. For you skinny people, imagine putting an 80 pound weight on your stomach and doing your daily activity while you crave good tasting food. I hate diet and exercise. So subsconscously I have avoided doing things that cause any kind of energy expenditure. I think there was a mayo clinic study that found that thin people do much more small activity than big people. Obviously I am a thinker and not a doer. But thoughts can lead to actions sometimes.

So how do I rewire the brain? Well, hypnosis seemed to work until the hypnotists morals invaded my subconsious, so that may be part of it. Also, getting back in touch with being a physical being is important. For instance, producing stimulus on the body, like massage or simple muscle movements will help. Also, I need points of reference. For instance, when I look in the mirror I see only me and in my mind I look good. Now if I was standing next to an average person I would be able to see these differences and connect them in my brain. So I would need a model of someone to compare my progress to. I also need forced weigh-ins and calorie tracking. I started that on the iPhone but got bored of it so someone else needs to remind me. Also, I need positive reinforcement of healthy choices, like a support group that gives me praise for my food and exercise choices. I'm kind of like a dog. Maybe give me a treat for doing good.

So how do I begin? What if I started a weight loss center that did the following: 1. Gave massages 2. Had daily meetings about food choices 3. Implemented hypnosis 4. Had a mirrors for you to compare yourself to regular people 5. Had positive reinforcement for winners 6. Did calorie management and daily weighins 7. Had brain rewiring workouts that produce no sweat, just doing exercises extremely slow. 8. Had TV, movies, internet and couches so that people could live their lives at the center. You would even get a healthy dinner at our cafeteria. It would be almost like the Biggest Loser compound. I wonder how much it would cost to put in place.

Eh, this all seems well and good, but seems like a lot of work and for someone with an energy expediture problem it is impossible. I need fusion to increase my energy level. If I have a higher energy level I will do more things. So I need more sleep, need to stretch in the morning, need a protein filled breakfast and should somehow get an ionic air purifier at my desk. I think to start with those things will increase my energy levels. Anyways, I am going on and on today. Still more thinking is required to get off of my vacation. Considering I have just typed 4000 characters I suppose I should get back to work.

Run for the hills, its swine flu. I think the name itself is comical. If you've heard the expression "when pigs fly" you will understand that swine flu means you are now about to get the girl of your dreams because pigs have flown. Get it. Flu = Flew. Anyways, the media is really biting on this. I think since the economy is not getting worse they need a new fear to instill into Americans. The only thing we have to fear is the press itself.

I have taken part in the fear of the press. I remember last year I heard a news story about how this year gas would be up to $8 a gallon this year. So I get on some daytime radio show and mention that story and the reporter is like, wow and I am like, we should carpool. So then everyone in America starts thinking of alternatives to gas powered cars. There are news stories about getting your car to run on water. The people at the green fest are talking about retrofitting cars with batteries. People start buying scooters and motorcycles and investors start getting green. Ah, good times. I got the most hits last summer. That's when I realize, someone does profit off of fear.

So what is there to profit off of swine flu? Well, those masks everyone wears. Give it a month and there will be ones with cool designs on them. A new market is emerging, Flu Masks. Like I should buy flumasks.biz or flumasks.me since the others are taken and create software that will allow you to print out pictures onto flu masks. Then create some kind of paper thin mask that can go in a printer. Then you can take a picture of your shirt and print it out on the mask so your mask will go with your shirt. It needs to happen asap, so I need a million to get it off the ground. We'll be advertising in 3 weeks. FluMasks.biz, because pigs really have flown! The logo and mascot would be a pig with a mask on and a cape on. I think I'll call him Super Piggy, or has that already been done?

Going deep today. I have been thinking about time lately and how it really is all relative. Most of us, in our day to day lives, tend to think in terms of Monday through Friday and then the weekend. Sometimes we think in terms of reminiscents of history, like our high school or college time periods. Sometimes we think in terms of last week and other times we think in terms of the next big life event, births and deaths. Old people tend to lose all track of time and have to ask what day of the week it is, as everything runs together. Today I am thinking in terms of decades. Like I have been working here in Dallas since 1998, for ten years.

For instance, I will be 34 in a month. Assuming I live to be 100(if I am lucky) one third of my life is over. Now my kids will never know this person I am now, much like I have no concept of my parents before my birth. What were they like? Like if me at 34 met them at 34 how weird would that be? I know for sure I am going to change once Bacon Burger is born. I will be a different person with different priorities than I ever was. In going over the past, a realization that only 4 years of high school and 5 years of college were made out to be more important than they actually were. 4 years out of 100 is only 4% of my life, but yet it seemed really important because everything mattered to me back then. Now that I am older and wiser, not much really matters.

Now if I do live to be 100(knock on wood), I have around 66 years left to go. That is alot of years. Even the time my kids will live with me(18 years) is a rather small percentage of my overall life. People say kids grow up so fast and I can see that, given growing up is probably only one fifth of their entire life as well. Also, I am thinking about how long I have left to work. Assuming I retire at 68 that is double the amount of my current life, another 34 years of going to work. Since my kid will be born when I am 34 I can assume he will go to college when I am 52, leaving me another 16 years of working, which is more than I have worked thus far. Then what happens from 68 to 100, for 32 years of my life? For the duration in which I am at now? I think everyone works to retire, but they have no plans after that. Matter of fact I think the only planning we ever do is for the beginning of an event, like where to go to college, what job do I want, let's have a kid, let's retire at so and so.

So what am I getting at? Well, time is all relative and quite frankly, meaningless. Sure it may have meaning to us at the time, but as it moves forward things become forgotten. In the end all of your experiences fade away into oblivion with no mark on the world and no remembrances. I think of King Solomon who said everything is done in vain and then I think of Corinthians which said that the only thing we do that is not in vain is the work of the Lord. I also think about why we worry about things that are but moments in time and quickly forgotton.

So what is the solution to relative time? Should we be like high school and think everything matters or be like obsessed adults worrying only about money, perceptions and our kids? Or should we be like a person who seizes the day without thought of tomorrow? I think none of those. I think Corinthians is right. It is not our earthly life that we should work for, it is our eternal life that we should concentrate on. Because as we look back at how relative time is, it is our eternal life that overshadows it all. I think we can find peace and solace in knowing that we have a place in heaven after this life is over. In the mean-time let's live like God wants us to and make a difference in someone else's life and maybe point the way. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Today's lesson will be on, percentages. First let us compute the odds of having a boy or girl. That's easy, 50/50 or 49/49/2 (2 being bothsexed). So right off of the bat we know if we flip a coin we could determine the gender by just guessing. Now let's say there is a test called "IntelliGender" that you can get at walgreens that will do a test for pregesterone. Now the lab results come back at 90% and the home results come back at 82% accurate. That cuts the guessing down immensely. Now let's say that we take this test and the answer comes back as:

A Boy!

Well, I am inclined to believe it. Holly will be 20 weeks this week and will get a sonogram on May 11th verifying things. For now all assumptions are:

A Boy!

I think I will go with that one. It seems cool. Having a boy is different than having a girl. Now I am not going to jump out there and say having a boy will be better than having a girl. In my opinion it is just different. I am not going to say I am upset at that news, because well I am thrilled to be having

A Boy!

But you never know. The test could be wrong. And we may end with a girl, in which case I would be more than happy. Just like I am happy with

A Boy!

And that's whats got me excited. How's things with you?

So last night was my second softball game. This game was much better considering I was put into right field instead of being a catcher. That was an easy job as I had one ball get close and the other guy got to it. I have to say we won, like 16-8. We did have a ringer. We had to get a sub because one of our guys was out so a friend of another guy got to play, he is on a baseball team and was actually on a practice sqaud for the phillies. Needless to say he got our only home run, and he played a pitcher for those teams. I saw him throw a baseball into a fence and it was faster than I could see.

So my first at bat I get up there and swing and a miss and swing and a miss. Then I am told I started out with a strike. Apparently the rules of softball are you start with one strike against you. Who knew? My second at bat I swing and I hit the ball. It was a dinky hit and the ball goes flying up and the pitcher catches it. My third at bat I let the first one go cause I wanted to be cool, even though it was a strike. Then the next pitch I swing and I hit it over the heads of the pitcher and the second baseman. Then the outfield center catches it and I am out. I am proud just for getting contact with the ball. Woot. All in all it was a good game. My team is 2-1. I am actually on a winning team. The last time was that soccer team when I was 7. Maybe I will get some pizza if we win it all.

In other news it is Friday and I am ready for the weekend. The only thing we have planned is to get the oil changed tomorrow. I also got a 2 week trial subscription to Netflix.com. Why you ask? Well I am trying out their online movie streaming service since I have my computer hooked up to the projector. They have way more movies(around 1000) than hulu.com and the quality seems better. I also have a queue setup to get movies sent to the house. Last night I watched Ice Pirates online. Of course it is all for $8.95 a month, and I can have two DVD's delivered to the house at a time and then can mail it back when I want another movie. If used often enough it is much better than actually renting movies or using on demand to pay $4 for a stream. TV shows are better on Hulu.com, Joost.com and Sling.com though, they are more older ones, like Doogie Howser and Family Ties. Shows I watched when I was a kid. Now if only Sling came to the iPhone so I can stream my home tv to my iPhone. Sling submitted their app to the iPhone App store 3 weeks ago and it has yet to be approved. Rumor has it that it would cause AT&T to go slower with people using their data plan too much. We shall see. I guess I am trying to get my video setup all complete. It is pretty cool having access to thousands of movies. I might just relax this weekend and watch them.

So tonight at 7 is my second softball game. The last time I played I played catcher for two innings. The second inning was terrible on my back. I think I will tell them tonight I am good at catcher for one inning. Apparently we won our game last week that I did not attend. So now if we lose I might wonder why...

Growing up I was never really into baseball. I remember getting a glove when I was 7 and I didn't like the fit and wondered what it was for. It was then when I discovered it was natural for me to catch the ball with my right hand and take the glove off and throw with my right hand. The funny thing is, I am left-handed. I collected baseball cards and always made bad trades. That was what was fun. Now actually watching a game is enough to make me fall asleep. Sure, I've been to a couple of Rangers games here in Dallas and they are good when you are in the stands and there are runs being scored. But really you end up being bored most of the time.

I wonder what activity our kid will be into. My childhood activity was soccer, of which I mostly wasn't that good at either. I think parents like to project their experiences onto their children so my guess would be soccer and football. When I was in first grade, age 7, in Alaska I was the goalie on a winning soccer team. When we won the championship game we were all taken to a ski lodge for pizza. It was then when my goalie experience was invaluable. Mom gave me a quarter to play pinball. Thirty minutes later I was on the same game. I don't know what my score was but I was rockin. See the ability to keep a ball from making a goal can help you in real life, like video games. Now baseball, I can't see how hitting something with a stick can help you. Unless your career is in construction...

Ah what to talk about. Just in case you are wondering with the mom situation she has decided not press charges and not to move. I have done all I can. So that is where we leave it until she changes her mind. I have been perusing this blog as of late. I have had an interesting life. It has never been normal, if there is such a thing. I look back to my posts of being in a band and thrilling audiences. I look at the posts where I talk about the latest happenings in the dating world. I look at all of the jobs I have had over a span of 5 years. I also see the posts where I talk about feeding the homeless and even gave some messages there. Then I see posts where I talk about RideSearch. Actually I started talking about it 2 years before I released it. So that is alot of posts.

My blog writing has also evolved. I used to do one paragraph with no breaks and a "thought of the day" to now where I like to make it three to four paragraphs. I think it is easier to read like this and it can still be a quick read. This gives me room to be more creative and put more thought into the content. I can't believe I have close to 1000 posts. That is alot of writing. I know I have readers on here who are family and friends. I wonder if I have long time readers who do not know me? That would be interesting. Speak up lurkers...

I notice I do have topics in my life that I tend to revolve around. Weight seems to be a big one(get it). I talk about my latest attempt to lose wieght and latest trick. BTW, I am still treadmill walking to Lost, just not as often as I should. The funny thing is it never seems to work. Over time I am getting tired of trying. I watched the biggest loser last night and to see a kid lose 145 pounds in 16 weeks makes me sick, but we all know he will gain it back. I also talk about RideSearch alot. I suppose with the amount of time and money I have invested into it that makes sense. It is like my baby, until I actually have a baby. Then you can look forward to me blogging about that.

One last thing - Happy Earth Day! The interesting thing is most people around here make fun of it. The sad thing is this global warming thing is for real and in our kids lifetimes they will see the global temperature rise 2 to 4 degrees. But no one really cares. I guess we just need bigger air conditioners. We can look forward to more hurricanes, tornados, heat waves and blizzards. Thank you nature. Remember to recycle, reuse stuff, conserve water and buy produce locally. Think about how far fruit from Brazil has to travel to make it to your plate and how much gas is used in the trip. Eh, do what you can, but don't kill yourself, let nature do that... Happy Earth Day Guilt Trip!

Today I think I will talk about my lovely wife Holly. First a news story. Apparently fat people lead to more global warming than thin people since we are more likely to drive everywhere and consume more, thus making more carbon dioxide. So I guess I should be buying carbon offsets for every hamburger I eat. Thank you science. It is apparent to me that most scientific studies that are quoted in the news are "cause-effect" studies. These studies are never 100% accurate and always inject bias. I like what Ed Bagely Junior said at the green fest on Saturday - don't listen to sources that are not good science, make sure they are backed by people with a PHD in their title. See apparently they say fat people are a cause of global warming, when that is not accurate. Fat people logically produce more C02, but to what degree and how much is never said and is it enough to cause a rise in global tempuratures. The answer is probably no. But that doesn't make good news.

Anyways, Holly's students are nearing the TAKS test. This is a yearly standardized test that teachers are judged upon. Teachers hate it. They feel it is unfair to judge them based upon one test. I agree, especially since the kids could care less because their report cards are not based on it. Add to the fact that all of Holly's kids speak spanish as a first language and you've got an unfair judgement of her. But teachers take this test very seriously because they are judged on it, thus making it stressful. I need to make sure she is not stressed at home. She is having a baby and stress is bad for her. After the first week in May, Holly's life should get much easier. Especially since she will have finished her Master's degree. We will find out the gender of the baby on May 11th. Then we will think about names.

Holly will be 19 weeks pregnant tomorrow. A couple of weeks ago the doctor heard the heartbeat. Everything is normal. Holly is waiting to feel the baby move. She has gotten bigger and every now and then gets more pants. We went to the Motherhood store in the mall. That place is kind of weird. There are water stains on the carpet and I know what those are from... As for the future, Holly will keep her job next year and will take September to December off because she gets leave and she has many days built up. Then from January to May she will teach the pre-k developmentally delayed kids life skills, which is a low stress job. Hopefully we will have no credit card debt by the end of next school year, but you never know how much a kid costs. If we can pull it off it would be good for Holly to stay at home for a couple of years. We'll see what happens. Life is good between us. Always has been. No major disagreements, no conflicts, we are best friends. Marriage is a good thing when done right.

So this weekend we chilled on Friday and watched the Star Wars Empire Strikes Back riff trax. It was funny. My favorite was when princess Leia steps on the asteroid and says something like "this doesn't feel like rock" and then the comment was "yeah, it's more like smooth jazz". I like the riff trax and will probably wait to watch twilight until the riff trax is done. I need to hear it filtered to make it funny.

On Saturday Holly and I went to the Plano Green Fest and setup my RideSearch booth. This time around my attitude is very different. A year ago I spent time making a pocketpc application to register users and gave away t-shirts to people who would sign up. We were so filled with hope, about what I don't know. I guess that it would become an overnight internet sensation. Saturday I still had some t-shirts left, so I gave the last of them away for people to sign our sheet to send them an invite in email. Even though each user is important I can see that it is groups that are where the future is. This one user at a time kind of thing doesn't work, so my attitude is like "who cares". I am waiting for the next version of RideSearch to be done before I get excited again.

I am glad I was able to get in the fest for free. Alot of people had to pay $500 to enter. I also got to talk with Ed Bagely Junior. He was an actor who was in My Three Sons and St.Elsewhere. I handed him my RideSearch card and told him what we do and he said, good job. This guy is like the environmentalist that the Hollyweirdos look to. He was riding his bike to work and driving electric cars before they were even popular. He has a show on the Green Planet Network about how he likes to put rain catchers in his yard and his wife is against it. It is interesting though. Going green works for everyone when it saves people money. Like doing a home energy audit to see how you are wasting electricity and seeing how you can save on your water bill. That is the draw of going green. However when it is more expensive people drop that concept in a heartbeat.

When I go to these festivals there are always two types of people. The people who are like "what a great idea, I will tell my friends" and the people who are like "I don't want to carpool because blah blah". I have also found that non-white people are more into it. I guess we are paranoid by nature or maybe it is a higher disposable income. But there is a whole world of demographics that are for it and accepting. There are many channels. I always have to remind myself of that. It will work out in the end. In this RideSearch Lifetime Movie we are at the middle part where there is a little hope and alot of doubt. Stay tuned for the next scene.

So, there is more on the mom front. I am concerned for mom's safety. Her neighbors have her complete trust. Mom even says stuff like, I would have given them the money if they would have asked me. Some people sympathize with the neighbor because she always cooks mom's dinner and brings it over and her boyfriend moves mom's cactus and changes her car's oil and has never asked for a dime. From the front they look like really nice people. However, what kind of twisted morals does it take to then excuse your actions for stealing? Then when you get caught and admit it was you, you go ahead and continue charging. I have not talked to her because I don't care what her excuse is. There is no excuse for stealing. I've given food to many a homeless person who said they would rather live on the street than steal and I admire them alot more.

I talked with the policeman yesterday and he asked if I wanted to press charges. I told him even though I have power of attorney financially and medically I don't know if that gives me the right to make decisions for mom. He said probably not so mom has to be the one who will press charges, which she probably won't. However, yesterday I told mom I will not have her living next to criminals who have stolen from her, even if she disagrees. I had the locksmith come yesterday and change her locks. So to the family that has keys, they will not work anymore. I want to give mom the idea that she is not safe, which is true. She does not understand it at all. She thinks they are still nice people. If they are capable of stealing $8,000 then what is to stop them from opening the door and stealing mom's stuff. Mom may never notice her coins gone from the wall. They just can't be trusted.

The policeman is going to stop by mom's house before Monday to talk with mom and see if she will press charges. I told the policeman I decided to give mom a choice. I will not have criminals living next to mom. I told mom that she could either press charges and her neighbors go to jail or she can move to a retirement home a couple of blocks away from me where she will be safe and where we can visit alot more. Of course the "no no no, I will never move, I will die in this house" comes out and needless to say we end at that. Holly and I even have a tour of the place near our house for Sunday it is at the Corinthians http://www.corinthiansret.com and it appears to be a nice place. We know that mom may not go for this now, but we are starting to prepare. I think it is better to move to one when you can still live independantly than to go when you are physically not able. But I have done all I can for now. We shall see what happens. I haven't been getting much sleep lately.

So remember last post how I said I didn't know what to do and how time has a habit of making decisions for you. Well it happened. Apparently today mom's neighbor decided to use another of mom's credit cards to pay her cell phone bill of $1000. This time the bank noticed and called mom about it. The charge was cancelled and now I have called the Wichita Falls cops and filed a report. That process is going to take a while as I have to circle charges mom didn't make and fill out forms and stuff. According to police it is not identity theft but credit card fraud instead. I guess there is some legal issues in calling it identity theft. I know if it is identity theft there is a minimum of 2 years in jail. Who knows about fraud.

I have no more sympathy for her neighbor. Even after she confessed she proceeded to do it some more. That is cruel and heartless. Makes me want to open up a can. Mom is finally mad about it. It took a while, but in time evil made itself known. So once I clear up things with the police and the credit card companies I will be able to move forward. Mom still does not want meals on wheels to come to her house. I guess that is fine as long as she can feed herself which she says she can. Let's hope so. I think it is dangerous living next to them, but she doesn't.

In other news, I was on the radio last night on the Dresser after Dark show, a syndicated radio show that plays late at night on AM radio stations. I think I was befuddled a little bit and was so excited about what I am going to do I was basically giving away my plans - going global, signing up businesses, using google maps and other things I am working on and said that it would be available next month. I think I might have even had a nervous laugh in there somewhere. Oh well, I think maybe 5 people were listening. But it was good practice for a future interview. You never know.

Apparently mom's neighbor has admitted to being the one who stole mom's identity and that she did all of the charges. This means that she owes mom more than $4,000. Mom, of course, hear's the neighbor's plight about having an ex-husband force her to use mom's card by threatening her kids. So mom is like, don't get her in trouble she cooks my dinners and helps me and is pregnant with high blood pressure and two kids. So the neighbor admitted to it and says she is going to pay mom in cash a little at a time to get it paid off(during which time the interest will continue to accrue). And then when I tell mom what she needs to do with the credit card company she is all confused. It is frustrating, like mom doesn't want to deal with this at all. I think maybe she knows her neighbor helping her could be coming to an end.

The problem is that there are many scenerios that can be played here, all with pain involved. The easiest for me would be if we could somehow transfer the entire balance over to the neighbor and let it affect their credit and they are responsible for the whole thing. Mom should not be involved. The other scenerios involve the credit card company calling the cops on the neighbor and sending her to jail, during which time the neighbor's big husband won't be too happy. Heck the credit card company does have investigators on it already. They have probably figured it out anyways. So mom would in effect be fueding with the people who help her. And they could in turn steal stuff from her house if one of them goes to jail and they blame me and mom for it. I would rather mom move out of the house into an assisted living place near me where she is safe from that. The major problem with that is that mom has said she would only move into a place like that if she got too sick to care for herself. She would resist right now.

I also have to think about it from her point of view. I know I wouldn't want to move out of my house. Mom is super attached to all of her stuff. She would never want to not have it nearby and an assisted living place would be much smaller than her house. It is going to happen eventually, but in my experience waiting for as long as possible is wise. Grandpa was living in such places for at least 10-20 years in his old age. Mom has cleared the old person hump where you are stable doing nothing and slowly decline over many years. People tell me that an incident has to happen before you need assisted living, like falling down and breaking a hip or not being able to physically care for yourself. Technically this could be an issue, but I am not sure. So I don't know what to do. Time has a way of making decisions if you let it. That path leads to disgruntled neighbors in jail and mom moving out because of it. I don't know if I should stop it or not. What do you think?

So this weekend I stayed at home on Friday and waited for the new projector to arrive because I had to sign for it. All I have to say is, wow. You know those big $5,000 TVs at Best Buy. Let's just say that a HDTV Projector can put it to shame and it was under $1000. I can see why Best Buy doesn't highlight them, they would overtake all of the LCD and plasma tvs they own. I am no longer trapped in the dark like I used to be. With my old one I got blackout shades for the living room and had to basically turn out all of the lights for it to work. With this new projector it is extraordinarily bright. I can keep lights on. The TV can get so bright that the room will fill with light when it is set on max. The colors are so bright it is weird seeing how colorful every image is. The HDTV signal makes HD stations seems lifelike. The wierd thing about the brightness is that it is registered as the same lumens as my last projector at 2000 lumens. But the contrast must make up for it because this has 6000:1 contrast ratio as opposed to 2000:1 from my last projector. All in all, the best buy for the buck. I am happy with this purchase and can't wait to see more high def movies on it.

Friday night was my sleep study. The doc wants to adjust my CPAP pressure since I have gained some wieght. BTW, now that I got the TV back in the living room I will continue with my Lost/Treadmill workout. I was on haitus for a week. Anyways, I go to the sleep place. This time they let me come in at 11PM. I am glad because I just can't fall asleep at 10PM, like my last sleep study. So the lady hooks up 21 electrodes to my body. They get put on my feet to test for RLS, my hair and near my eyes and all over my chest. You want to talk about a little uncomfortable, try sleeping like that. So anyways I probably fall asleep at 1AM. The sleep lady comes in during the night to adjust the mask as it was leaking. She wants me to wear a mask instead of my nose thing. Yeah right. Good luck with that. So I get home at 6:30AM and go to sleep. Then I wake up to go Wichita Falls.

So this Saturday and Sunday I spent around 8 hours in the car. 2 to Wichita Falls, 2 coming back on Saturday and then 2 back to Wichita and 2 coming back on Sunday. Saturday night we watch mom shows. I think CBS has some kind of old person subsconscious messages that keep them watching that channel. We took mom and Holly's mom to church on Sunday. It was good, although because mom gets a wheelchair we had to grab chairs from outside the place to sit by her. It was a chore. I took mom and Holly's mom to Rafian's afterwords. That is my favorite restaurant of all time. The one waiter recognizes me since I was there just a couple of weeks ago. It was good. Anyways, we finish Sunday with driving. I am now tired and it is only Monday. I need a vacation already. How was your weekend?

Happy Easter Everyone!

Today I will talk about a simple question,"Where is the body?" In doing my Bible studies and going through many books that give evidence for the death and resurrection of Jesus they all ask skeptics to use logic to answer the question "Where is the body?"

Imagine if Jim Jones had said he was God and he died, as did happen. Now imagine 500 followers claiming they saw him risen and the fervor gaining so much strength that people want to get them to shut up. What would the naysayers do? They would go and parade the body of Jim Jones around town proclaiming "he looks dead to me!" and thus quelling that movement.

If Jesus was not resurrected why wouldn't they do that? Well because most historians agree, they could not come up with a body. There is even an explanation in the Bible regarding the Romans making up a story that it was stolen. The funny thing is that there was actually a group of guards placed around the tomb because they thought the body would be stolen. They even rolled a 1 ton stone in front of the grave. Jesus wasn't going anywhere.

Yet, the body was nowhere to be found on Sunday. And yet even the disciples had trouble believing those that claimed to have seen Him. Even when Jesus appeared to them they didn't believe it. It was when he broke bread with them and spoke did they open up and believe it. Some people say they could not recognize him because he was in a heavenly body. Others say the disciples were mourning so much they couldn't conceive of a resurrection.

There are many reasons to not believe in Jesus, but there is one overriding reason to believe. What if you are wrong? By not believing Jesus died for you when you die you will not have eternal life. Now if I am wrong and it makes no difference to your afterlife then at the least you might have wasted some time. At the most you might have gotten involved with a religion that could do you some good if you let it: new friends, community, help with spiritual issues, helping others, being part of something bigger than yourself. Quite frankly out of all the religions out there, Christianity is based upon mercy and forgiveness while others are based on following laws to a tee.

In conclusion you will not believe even if you see it. You have to hear the word of God and take it to heart. That is how you believe. You have to pray to God that you believe he loved you enough to give his only Son. That you are willing to put God in the driver seat and let Him take control of your life. Pray to receive the Holy Spirit in your life. Then you will become a new person. Someone who has a life in heaven to look forward to. Then you will really know where the body is.

There are new deals out there everyday. If we can just find them our lives would be better. So my illustrious projecter has bit the dirt. After 7 years of people being in awe of the setup, I had to say goodbye to the ole NEC LT240K. But out of the ashes will arise the Panasonic PT-AX200U, a projector with 3 times the contrast at half the price, but the same brightness. I have been going a week without a TV in the living room. It is enough to make start coding again, or go to bed early. The technology in this new projector seems better. It did get rave reviews in 2008. I am amazed at how the price dropped as well. It will arrive tomorrow, just in time for mom to see it. As I talked to the projector people I have to be home to sign for it. So I may just take an easy day tomorrow and get some work done.

For instance I am thinking about doing the ole refinance of the mortgage. I got it at 6% 7 years ago and the rates are near 5% now. Someone once told me a rule that you should do that when there is a point difference. Another person said 2 points difference. So it'd be like the same house for less monthly payment. A difference between $1300 a month and $1000 a month. But, the flipside is you have to pay closing costs again would would probably be $4000 with all of the fees involved. So, even though you save $300 a month you have to have the house for enough months to make up the $4000 to get it done which would be roughly 13 months.

But then you say to yourself, what if we got a new house altogether? Would this whole refinance thing really work? Wouldn't it be better to keep putting more equity into the house so that when we sell it we make a better profit? As I look deep into the recesses of amortization tables I see that when you refinance you have to start paying a much higher percentage of interest all over again. So say I am putting $215 into the equity of the house every month. If I refinance I may end up only putting $50 into equity a month. After two years that would be a loss of around $4,000 that gets put towards principle. So not only does it cost you $4,000 in closing costs, it costs you $4,000 in equity. Now the picture is even bleaker. To make that up you need to add another 13 months of payments. So only after 26 months would you start to break even on the deal. There are new deals out there every day. If you get a bad one, your life may become worse and you wouldn't know it till you got out of it. I think I'll stay where I am at after typing this. Thank you blog.

Today the weather is 72 and sunny. Everyone is taking it easy. Work is slow with no pressure. And that's the weather report in my world. Here are some things that are on my mind. I get to go to a sleep study Friday night to get my CPAP machine recalibrated. Apparently every 2 years they want some more insurance money sans my $40 copay. It starts at 11PM and ends at 6AM. Then I will wake up, go home and we will go pick up mom in Wichita Falls to bring her back. This weekend will be alot of driving.

Here is an amazing coincidence the past 2 days. The extra-job that I was trying to get (I have yet to hear back) is using shopping cart software that integrates into Community Server. What that means to me is I could do that as well in RideSearch, thus saving me months of integrating my existing shopping cart software into RideSearch. It is a great idea. Even if I don't get this job, the idea is enough for all of this to be worth it. It is almost too coincidental, especially since I worked with Google Maps at the Boy Scouts and I will use that in the next version of RideSearch and I worked with the latest version of Community Server and I will also upgrade RideSearch to a later version. Basically I got the skills and new tools I need to get this done much quicker. The most important thing - My Drive is Back! I have worked on it the past 2 nights. I can now see the forest through the trees.

Also, I now have shopping cart software already paid for and ready for me to use on another web site. All I need is products to sell. Any ideas? I like the idea of selling ebooks or things that are digital so I don't have to ship them or have inventory. What can I sell? If you had an online store what would you sell? I know Benz wants to start a magic the gathering shop online to sell trading cards. I can dig it, as long as he provides the artwork. Anyways, I will be working on RideSearch for some months so the idea would have to wait. You know I have turned down two offers for interviews from the media this week. One AM station and another Podcast. I really have nothing to say anymore about carpooling. I have said it all. I will take an interview if it is recognizable though. We shall see. And that's the weather report in my world. And now back to you.

So there is a new study out that says adults who have ADHD and take medicine for it lose weight alot better(12%) than adults who have ADHD and who do not take medicine(4%). This leaves me thinking. I know I have always had some form of ADD. I am not "hyper" like the stereotypical person, but when I take those online quizes it always comes up positive for ADD. I figure it is because I can't play a video game alone for more than five minutes without getting bored. My short term memory fades very quickly. I am constantly moving my legs. I jump from task to task super quick, which explains why I have 15 browsers open right now. I never finish most tasks anyways, but I do finish important ones. I figure I was intelligent enough to cope with it growing up to get by. If the teacher didn't like my hurried handwriting I would type it. I figured out ways around studying by learning quickly. So even if I did have ADD I really wouldn't care because I am doing fine without anything.

I remember a movie I saw one time about this kid who took ritalin and became a completely different person. He got better grades but people hated the person he had become. He became arrogant and left his friends. Then when he quit taking it his life became normal. So the only reason I would even consider getting diagnosed would be if it helped me lose weight. That study doesn't make sense to me though. I figure if things are really stable you would be bored and would eat more. Maybe it would slow down my eating (I eat like 50MPH) and thus make me feel full faster. But it might also slow down my coding. That would be a negative as I go in spurts and can code off of inspiration. However it might increase my aptitude for going deeper into logic. I guess there are pros and cons of both states of mind.

Anyways, I figure I will talk with the old wife since as a teacher she diagnoses those kids. I wonder if those drugs lower blood pressure? I would think so since you have the new ability to sit still. Who knows. Eh, the only real reason is the weight loss thing. I have to remember what I said a week ago about losing weight and stick with that instead. That was pretty wise. What was it?? Something about motivating myself or something. Darn ADD...

Let's see. Friday Holly and I went to a Jeremy Camp/Mercy Me concert with Mr.T and a bunch of old Sunday school friends. Unfortunately we thought we could buy tickets there at AAC but they were sold out. So we went back to a guy's house and watched Slumdog Millionare. It was pretty good. I'd give it 3 and a half out of 5 stars (would have been 4 except for one yaking scene). Saturday we had a double date with Chris and Nelly and went to Carino's and back to their place. Sunday Holly and I slept in, woke up and did some chores. We did take princess for a walk in the park. That dog has a liking for shoes now. Anyways, now I am back at work. We are getting ready for mom to come here this weekend for Easter. Clearing a path from her bedroom to the bathroom is a must. Anyways, how was your weekend?

So there I was, stepping up to the plate for the first time ever. Their pitcher throws the ball nice and slow. I swing and hit the ball. It goes to the left side of the field and the person catches it. The second time I am at the plate I get up there and the ball comes my way. I swing and hit the ball. It is a left side grounder. I run to first base and don't make it there in time and I am out. Meanwhile I can't believe I hit the ball. I didn't have any strikes against me last night. Talk about good.

Now talk about reality, the other side of the ball. The first inning I played catcher. One thing that came natural to me was throwing the ball. It was wild maybe a couple of times but most of the time it was dead on. It kinda is like throwing a football. That takes me back to high school when me and my step brother would throw the football after school. He was a super hard thrower (he even tried out for the NFL) and he tought me how to throw and catch a football. But I have never learned how to catch with a glove.

Two things were hard to do: catching the ball and crouching down to catch the ball. Since I couldn't catch 90% of the balls thrown to me I had to go backwords and get the ones that got away. This was definitely cardio exercise and I was out of breath alot. But the most gruesome thing was crouching. So I kind of do a football two point stance and rest my glove on my legs. I even turn sideways. The first inning I was ok but starting to feel some strain. I just can't get comfortable. For you skinny people, imagine strapping a 50 pound weight to your stomach and then having to crouch. The second inning I was in pain. My lower right back was burning and as I sit right now it feels like a black and blue mark is on it. It got to the point where I just gave up on crouching, would stand there far back and try to catch the ball. Even catching became excrutiating. By the next inning they let me sit out. The fourth and last inning I played right field and only had one foul ball come my way over the fence. We lost by the way, something like 20 - 6. But all in all it was fun. I just need a counterweight on my back to help me balance. Ah, new invention - the reversable stomach where you can hang 50 pounds off of your back to enable you to crouch better. Eh, might as well just lose the 50.

In continuing with things I notice about the world, today it is the cause and effect things. For instance investors tend to think that a company that has layoffs during a recession is mostly a good thing. That is why the news might be, "worst layoffs in 26 years", yet the markets seems to always go up when something like that happens. My belief is that a leaner company can get through tougher times. So I would not be surprised if "wal-street" gets better while "main street" gets worse as more jobs get shed. Then the government will create jobs of their own to make up for it and it'll balance out in the end. The reality is they are all related somehow. Anyways, enough about the economy, it will get better.

I am almost about to have a second job after I give them my estimates for length of time to complete. It'll probably last 3 months. It is a relief. For some reason when I think about our future baby I get this "father provider" kind of feeling, like I need to bring home the bacon and then some. In my opinion it would be better if Holly didn't have to work during the formative years. Given that kids can cost $200,000 to $400,000, it makes sense to have enough to provide for them as well. So her working is better financially but probably not as good developmentally. In subscribing to the Dave Ramsey school of thought drastic things need to be done to get out of debt. Like sell the cars, get junker cars, use the additional savings of car payments to pay off debts. Then live off of rice and never go out to eat. Pay off all debts in 12-18 months and get a nest egg growing after all debts are paid off. That is different as most people think you need both at the same time and in turn it then takes 3-5 years to pay off debts that it could've taken 18 months. It is an interesting concept and it works, but I don't know if I have the guts to do it. Maybe this second job would take care of everything without having to sacrifice. That is the best of both worlds.

Then 3 to 5 years down the line we may get a new house. I know Holly didn't pick this house when she married me and the mothers seem to think the stairs are dangerous. I've only tripped down them once. We'll put up gates for the baby and stuff. I got the house with the idea that we will be able to have it for 30 years. But a new house would be cool as well. When we are ready we will do it. It doesn't matter where you live as long as you can do the stuff you always do. I hope mom can realize that as time goes on as I can see assisted living in her future. Anyways, a recent article came out about how blogging is theraputical. I can see that as I like to get my thoughts out there. Baby, finances, life, world affairs, a house, old age and all of those things get put on this blog so I don't have to think about it anymore. And that is my thoughts. What are yours?

So I am at a standstill with RideSearch. I have had my IDE open for weeks and have not even coded anything. I already have the vision, the plan and the tools. So what is missing? The drive. I know how hard it was to get 1.0 and 2.0 out the door. Remember me working on all of my breaks? I remember staying up and working 6 days a week at night on this thing and not seeing any payments for my efforts. I remember getting so tired when I finished 2.0 that I fell asleep at a funeral. The internal drive is what made it all possible. The will to finish it. I think after all that happened last year the will has gone bye bye. But it does hurt to think about quitting now. Not after $100,000 has been invested in this thing and I know just one more version and it could take off. I don't even have to spend any more money on it. I just have to code it. RideSearch was my best idea by far. It is still out there, getting a couple of people a day to sign up.

As I look back at the story of RideSearch I can say it was the wildest craziest thing I have ever done. I mean I was out there in LA evangelizing carpooling to people. I made a cable commercial. I was giving away t-shirts right and left. I got 40,000 business cards made. I was making announcements on the radio and tv and was in an article that was printed by the associated press across the US. The site was listed in Women's Health Magazine as a top site. Even Good Morning America had a link to my rideshare calculator. The day my site got linked to on the front page of Yahoo was a day I'll never forget. 300 people signed up in a matter of hours. The AP article got put on MSNBC and Forbes and CNN with a link to my site. I just recently got asked to be part of a board of rideshare site owners at MIT/Carnegie Melon but turned it down because I would have to pay for the flight and meals to Boston and take off work. The whole RideSearch experience is something I will tell my kids about. If success is based on things other than money than it was very successful. However, in business it leaves a bad taste in your mouth because it was a failure monetarily.

Sometimes it does deflate my ego to think about what could have been and what needs to be done. I just don't know if I have the drive right now. Right now I may just put it all on hold officially. I've got a second night job already lined up and may take it today or tomorrow. It actually pays and as in typical fashion they found me. It is working from home modifying an existing social network for lawyers. It is using the same engine I built RideSearch on. You know, I also got the job at the Boy Scouts based upon my RideSearch work, and I even got more experience here at Lockheed because of my RideSearch work, which made me an official senior developer. So, in a roundabout way, RideSearch did make me some money. Maybe that was the point all along. It wasn't the actual site that was valuable, it was the experience.