In the course of human history there is one event that takes the cake and makes everyone happy. Whilst funerals are no fun, the birth of a child is the exact opposite and brings joy to many people. I'll be. I am going to be a daddy. We've known for over a month, but have kept our lips shut. Holly is 8 weeks pregnant. Our baby is due around September 14th. I am excited and a little nervous. But I am sure when the time comes I will have what it takes. If billions of people can have kids and not mess up, then I surely can.

To think that 10 years from now our kid may be reading this blog, reading this announcement of his/her pending birth and is thinking, "they have no idea what happens..." To think that the mix of me and Holly will create someone with my eyes and her nose and my hair and her face or something like that is pretty cool. Life is going to change for the better. To my future kid who is reading this. I am glad you are coming!

Love,
Your Daddy

Roads were icy this morning.
Was thinking about not going to work.
Decided they needed me.
Got in at 1PM.
Will go home at 5PM.

A lady and her daughter made me a batch of chocolate chip cookies
for all my hard work.
I took a picture and emailed it to Holly
As I eat them I think, should I be eating them?

And life goes on.
But what life?
And who's life?
Hmmm, life?
Question.

Exercise: 45 minutes bike

This last weekend Holly and I wanted to see if we could not spend money and we didn't spend a dime. We watched TV most of the weekend and played Wii. I didn't even work out or anything. We did go to Church/Sunday school, and that is free. So we learned a lesson, it is possible to not spend anything, but at times can be rather boring. We are so used to eating out, going to the movies, going bowling, and other such date things. We know we need to curtail this behavior.

This morning I had a bad morning. Apparently little Princess Leia is smart. She got under our king size bed this morning right before I was supposed to leave for work. She knows it is time to go into her crate. She also had a smelly accident under the bed too, which actually woke me up it was so bad, and is still there cause I was late.

To get her out I grabbed a mic stand to push her out and she would dodge it. I yelled. I opened the door downstairs to see if she would come out. I left her alone and she didn't come out. Finally I knew there was only one way that dog was coming out of there. So I scooted the nightstand out of the way and proceeded to lift the king size mattress off of the bed. Then I lifted the mattress below it. Then I finally conquered my goal and grabbed little poopsie(as my wife calls her) and put her in her crate. She just smiled at me and acted as if nothing was wrong. Something tells me I get no respect from this dog.

It makes you think though. A couple that gets a dog usually has children around the bend. Dogs are like starter children. Holly, now she will make a great mom, her kids listen to her and she lays down the law, even poopsie listens to her. But would our kids listen to me? I think I should take the dog to obediance training. Do they have that for kids? They should. Hmm, a new business model, kiddie obedience training or maybe it should be father obedience training. What do you think?

Exercise: 41 minutes bicycle

This morning I talked with my old project manager at the IRS. It has taken a month of paperwork and me wondering if it was worth it to go back but I have finally received an offer. So, given this economy and the turmoil it is in I figure I am going to step out of the whirlwind and duck into something safe and permanent. I will be working a permanent position at Lockheed Martin. I will be doing what I was before at the IRS, just now I have health insurance and benefits and dare I say it, vacation days. Although I did have to take a cut in pay to come back because contractor money is hard to match.

It has been since 2003 since I was permanent. It is going to be weird not having to think about the next contract renewal and future jobs. It is also going to be weird having to abide by employee rules like getting in by 9AM. Now I just have to think about future promotions.

Really I have been back there twice already with six month jobs in between. Third time is the charm. I may end up working for 20 years there. I know exactly what I am getting myself into - good hours, good people, mediocre work, mediocre responsibilities and a bad work environment.

You know there are four character traits that got me this job: faith, trust, patience and genius. Faith and trust that God will always give me what I need. Patience in that I had to wait over a month to hear an offer without jumping full fledged into the job market(quite frankly I am tired of interviews, I have probably done 200 of them in my lifetime). And genius in showing people what they have not seen. I did that at the IRS and dazzled them and that gave me a good name with all of the employees. I am well respected there.

I have dazzled here at the Boy Scouts too, so I think they want me to work part time at nights, provided they can come up with the money. My dazzling here is going to end up being seen worldwide by a million people. The site http://community.scouting.org is going to be released to world slowly and only scouts can become members but it is a full fledged social network, which is what RideSearch is also going to become.

Everything has been working for a much grander plan than I can even realize. When I think back to the question my stepdad asked people - did you ever serve your country? I can now say, I served at the Boy Scouts, I served the nation a way to find a carpool and now I serve the nation in permanent role. And that is awesome.

So I am thinking about the future as I like to do. This time it is cloud computing. What is cloud computing you say? It is the idea that the internet can serve all of your software needs. For instance instead of using Word you would use google apps which has its own word processor. The good thing about that is that whatever computer you go to if it has internet you will be able to access your documents. Think of how this can be expanded upon. Like for storage you could subscribe to box.net and put your files there. Or for pictures flickr or picasaweb. Or for videos, youtube or google video. You can even create your own cloud and have your computer at home serve your own videos, music, pictures and documents via Orb. You could even log in to your home computer using logmein.com. You can even access your home tv using Slingbox and full length movies and tv shows at hulu.com. We still rent at blockbuster but sometimes we use Verizon's fios on demand or cinemanow.com and never have to take a DVD back. It is all bits and is all coming together so that we can be served our data any where and at any time.

So what is happening today is everything is slowly getting ported over to a cloud. For instance, if I decide to do part time work for the boy scouts they could give me a remote desktop so I don't have to go in. Meetings are already taking place over webinars and gotmeeting and other software. In the end, with the economy in shambles, businesses are going to embrace the cloud and realize that anyones whose job solely works with computers and phones do not need to take up office space can work from home. This will save energy and office space and cut costs for business and commuters. In the next 10 years remote work will overtake onsite work... maybe, if we are lucky.

Exercise: Dog walk, bike and wii-bowling at the same time
Comment: I will win this challenge, slow and steady wins the race...

Oh, sometimes I worry what is going to happen when I am gone from here. The good news is that everyone is already talking about me being available for after hours work. So I may have a second job. That will bring in more money. But it may curtail my RideSearch work. We'll see. You never know.

For the past 6 months I have been laying out the pieces of the next version of RideSearch, kind of like Legos, and have been staring at them and dreaming of them. Now I am putting them together.

In exercise news my ellipticals pedal keep falling off so yesterday I grabbed the recumbent bike from upstairs and put it in the living room. It is starting to look like a gym in there. I also lost 2 pounds. Finally making some progress.

Exercise: 25 minutes bike
Weight: 169

This 3 day weekend was pretty standard. I hung out with my wife. We went bowling on Saturday night. We did church/sunday school. I watched some of the playoff games. Both teams that I wanted to win did. I am going to have to go for Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl cause that is where my mom is from. Monday I got some RideSearch stuff setup for the next release. It is going to be 3 times the size of the old version. I also helped Holly's mom work on a presentation.

Oh yeah I also uploaded my release of RideSearch 2.0 at the Carrollton Chamber of Commerce last year around June 26th:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L52he32XOUU

Just found out there is a new MSN Money article that lists my site as a carpooling site - along with all of my competition:
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveonaCar/cut-your-gas-costs-in-half-or-more.aspx?page=2

In other news I am still looking for a job. The Boy Scouts just can't keep me because I am too expensive. All of my coworkers have told their bosses to keep me, but that is a sign of this economy. Anyways, I just had an improptu meeting with the CIO of the Boy Scouts demoing the latest chat room features I added to their site. In the end of the meeting as we were walking out the door I gave him a RideSearch card and a Motivium card. You never know.

I remember the tech sector was almost always the first to go in a recession and the first to spike when it is booming. Ever since the 90s this has proven to be true. If that is true then we will be going into depression territory. Dallas is listed as the 9th most likely city for employment by Forbes, but from what I see those 25 jobs available at one time are fake, and considering there used to be 900 jobs at one time I am scared for this economy.

Hopefully President Obama will give false hope to investors and they will be deluded into investing more. Fear and hope drive the markets. Let's hope hope is in style. Hope hope? If you hope hope is in style then if you are stylish your hope that hope is in style will be stylish. Don't you just love circular cigol?

So I am sitting here, wearing a ripping shirt. I didn't realize how tight my shirt was till I got to work. The bottom button is ripping... I have set a goal to lose 20 pounds. Sure 80 pounds is more like it, but I have got to start small and light with increasing intensity. I did 25 minutes last night while watching Lost. I am on episode 14 of Season 1. It is an interesting show. Right now the bald guy is staring at the hatch talking about how it took 4 months for Michaelangelo to start on David. In reflection it has taken me a while to get the complete vision of RideSearch 3.0. Since I have it now all I have to do is build it, my masterpiece. Anyways, I need to start increasing my intensity - slowly though. No running 5 miles in a day or anything. There is a reason why all of the people on the Biggest Cryer all gain it back. They don't accept what they are doing as a lifestyle, more of as taking medicine and they quit taking it when they get home.

I tried to get motivated the other day and watched a guy on youtube talk about what motivates people. He said if I was told I could go to Hawaii tomorrow if I ran 5 miles today I would do it. If there was something I really wanted and the only way to get it was to exercise then that would be motivation. The kicker is, it has got to be something I really really want. I need a carrot on stick - sans the carrot and stick - to motivate me. So the first motivating factor is what is happening right now. My shirt is ripping at the button. I am glad I am in a cube. But nevertheless there is a whole warddrobe that is becoming useless and that sucks, so I got some motivation. But I am stubborn and do enjoy an easy lifestyle. So it is not enough.

But what do I really really want that would sufficiently motivate me? To be debt free? That would do it, but there is no genie promising that. See, that is why the Biggest Loser works so well, because as adults money is definitely a motivating factor. What if all my friends took a large collection and I would get it if I lost 80 pounds? That may do it. The rewards of being skinny should be enough, but those rewards are not that definite. I may still have high blood pressure and sleep apnea if I lose 80 pounds and then I would have done it for nothing. The future is always uncertain so dreams of being alive at 90 in good health don't seem definite to me. I may die tomorrow so all of these "do it for someone else" factors don't wash logically.

So the question is: what life changing things have happened, why, and how can I duplicate them to lose weight. The biggest life changing event I think of was when I accepted Jesus into my life. Everything became different, even physically. I noticed sin in my life and tried to correct it. I started going to church and met many friends and started ministering to others. I was definitely a changed man. Scripturally the Holy Spirit has to lead you to Him. You cannot just decide. There has to be a spiritual moment when you are led to the door and all you have to do is open it. Everyone has moments in their life when they are led to the door. It is at that point where you open it to a new life or walk away.

So where is the door to weight loss? Is this button ripping my shirt leading me to the door? Who is on the other side? Is it a new me? Changes founded in emotion always fail. Changes founded spiritually are life long. Changes founded in circumstances beyond your control can last a long time by can eventually be removed. What is the spiritual aspect to losing weight?

Well, we come to Jesus because we admit we fall short and can't get to heaven any other way. The act of being saved is letting Him take control of our lives. So that's it. That's the spiritual aspect to losing weight. I admit I do fall short of dieting and exercising. I need to let other people take control of my physical well being. I need to give them the power to guide my diet and exercise. To hold me accountable for my actions. This blog is part of it, but the people I see day to day like my wife and friends need to hold me accountable even though I won't like it. I need to give it all up and do as I am told. It is not that I am blaming others for my weight I am giving them the go ahead to help me control it. And that, my friends, should lead to life long weight loss. Although I wonder what is going to be harder - giving up control, or actually doing the work... We shall see.

I got all of that from losing my button. Have a good weekend everyone. I am off on Monday!

Exercise: 25 Minutes

Negotiations. The word is scary to some and avoidable to others. In growing up we are given a sense of no negotiating by our superiors, like parents and teachers. So the skill of negotiating starts to become a lost art. You go to the supermarket, there is no negotiating. Clothes stores, Best Buy, and in named brand places there is no negotiating. So when you go to buy a car or get a job you think to yourself, I guess there is no negotiating.

The reality is a little different. Yesterday there was some software I needed for RideSearch 3.0. Even though I owned a previous version they were still wanting me to pay full price for it. Having high self esteem is essential to good negotiating. By saying "I am worth more" and "I deserve more." you can actually make the deal better. I told the company I would pay for an upgrade and not full price, take it or leave it. They got off the phone and called me back and a little later gave me the upgrade price. One of my work friends actually talked a company down from $5000 to $500 for their software.

On the job front, knowing how much you are worth is hard. For instance, a couple of years ago I was a vendor for Lockheed. I was making above industry standard. I am always above it and rightfully so given my experience. So when I go job hunting I have to keep in mind that their initial offer will not be the final one. Especially since I can get more than one offer. In the long run, what is 5 to 10 grand in relation to having a mediocre worker to exceptional worker. If I can do twice the work, it is a great deal for any company. So as I start to get offers I have to say "I am worth more" and "I deserve more" and look in the mirror and say "I like myself". Thank you SNL.

So I have been thinking lately about what I am going to do. At the moment still no offers, but the promise of one, which I would probably take. However, I am not pushing the offer process because I do want to see what else is out there. I have to remember sometimes that I am in my prime and should be the one to choose what to do and not circumstances choosing for me. On a phone interview on Monday I was asked the standard, where do you see yourself in 5 years. Back in the day I would have answered something cheesy like - in a management position. This time around I am like the guy in Meet the Parents who isn't a doctor even though he passed the tests because he likes nursing. So I told the guy - well since I have been CEO and have done everything in a company I can safely say that I would like to continue to be a hands on software architect. That is the best answer to give when talking to small to medium sized companies proving I am not after their jobs. I should find out tomorrow if I get a second interview.

This all segways into Goals. This past week I have heard the word goal by my business coach, an interviewer and Dave Ramsey. What is your yearly goal? A goal has to be achievable and measurable. Like, make RideSearch go from 9,000 users to 20,000 users, release RideSearch 3.0 by Earth Day, lose 40 pounds this year and other such things. Then you are supposed to figure out how to achieve it.

As I was thinking about how to achieve it an idea crossed my mind. Since I have 2 weeks left at the Boy Scouts maybe I should pitch RideSearch to the CEO? I have never heard of anyone going directly to the CEO for anything. I don't even know if he is in the building. Should I go up the chain through my bosses or just stop by the office and grab a minute of his time? It is kind of scary and I wonder, how should I approach it. The biggest thing that comes to mind is what do you have to lose? Just in doing this I am proving that I am brave enough to stand in front of corporate giants. That in itself would be an accomplishment. But I must prepare for such a meeting and have a pitch.

Right now I am reading How to talk to anyone:92 ways to increase your conversation. So far I have learned to have good posture, keep eye contact and slowly smile. Maybe once I have finished this book I will be brave enough to meet the big wigs. We shall see.

Exercise: 15 minutes treadmill (I was tired)
Weight: N/A

Let's see. This weekend we kind of hung out. I was exhausted Friday so we just stayed at home and watched movies. Saturday afternoon I helped Peetey move a refigerator and then went to their local Italian eatery. After that I went to a baby shower with Holly for one of our friends. Let's just say this, I was one of two guys there out of 25. I will remember that for the next time I am invited to a baby shower. Saturday night we rented Star Trek 5 so we could listen to the Riff Track. Star Trek 5 is far and away the worst Star Trek movie ever made. I am glad the Riff Track made fun of it the whole time. Holly was laughing and so was I.

Then we watched a movie called "Young at Heart", a documentary about a senior group who sung rock songs acapella style. Apparently they tour Europe every year. The old folks are 70-92 and are up there on stage singing Coldplay. It was somewhat funny although a couple of them died during the movie. But it leads me to the conclusion that old people are quite capable of doing much more than they let on, even if they have physical disabilities. I think we are being had by most of them, that they somehow lose their memory all of the time and can't do anything physical. I think they just don't want to. But when you get to be old like that I can imagine you have experienced many seasons of life and you only do what you want to do.

Sunday we did the usual church, sunday school thing. We went to Lenny's. I came home and took a nap. Later on we watched the end of Star Wars episode 5 and the beginning of Episode 6. You know there is a scene when Luke kicks a bad guy in episode 6 and the guy falls back that you can clearly see he doesn't make contact. Anyways, back to real life. Didn't work out this weekend. Gotta keep going. I guess I am old at heart.

Exercise: none
Diet: none

Too busy. Well, my head has been spinning with work since yesterday so does stress count as exercise? Production errors at work with a morning presentation. Even RideSearch TAB meeting preparation. I did not stop working till 9PM last night so I could not work out. At that point in time you do not want to do any work at all. Even your body. Anyways, back to the grind.

Does anyone really have a clue? Anyone? Really? I am often self-entitled, but I figure it is because I stand up and say what I believe. In this world if you don't be visible you will be invisible...

I like being vague... Come-on girls, do you believe in love... Vague.

Predictions. We hear them all of the time. "It's going to get worse before it gets better" "Gas will be up to $5 a gallon next year" "Pass this stimulus package or it'll get worse" and on and on. One thing I learned from this last year is that people who predict things tend to be wrong 40% of the time. The farther out a prediction goes the less accurate it gets and the more forgettable it will be. For instance I could predict that gas will go up 5 cents tomorrow and I would have a better chance of being right than if I predicted it would go up 25 cents tomorrow, because it is not a radical outcome. People who say we are going into a 2 year recession have a much higher chance of being wrong than being right. Anything projected out 2 years is quite frankly, bunk.

But, the real effect of predicting a bad future means that today becomes bad and not the future. Fear drives the markets down. Even stimulus packages drive the markets down. I think the last one proved that banks would rather keep the money than spend it. I know if I was given stimulus money I would put it in the bank or pay on a credit card. That doesn't really drive the economy. Even businesses would not start a hiring frenzy with bailout money. I would pay down business debt.

There is so much fear out there. I have never seen so much hype. All of these long term predictions are coming true in the short term and they are affecting real Americans and not just businesses. Say I want a really good job. They are now super hard to find. Say I want to buy a house because the market is good to buy. I cannot since I could not sell my existing house. We, the consumer, become stuck and fearful. We start to hoard what we get. We learn a lesson that we should have learned years ago. It is a different world now.

I have thought in the past to get government grants since I am a green business. Especially with the new administration already talking about building up the green industry. The problem is that grant writers can cost 2K to 25K just to get a good proposal written. Then it takes about a year just to get the money. Then if I don't get any money I would have wasted time and effort in the whole process.

Yesterday I got a call from Glamour Magazine asking for a gas quote on what carpoolers save. It should appear in the March edition. I am going to put one more ad for Radio and TV stations to see. Hopefully I can bring some hope back to America.

Ok, so I am constantly waiting. For some reason I am not being that pro-active in my job search. I guess I got tired of all of the headhunters going after me last time. This time things just seem different. Everyone seems to be going slower. The job boards have not jumped like I thought they would. There has been a steady stream of around 25 jobs in DFW available at any one time. I can just sense that many companies are fake hiring. I hate that. What is a fake hire?? Well I have been in 2 companies that did this. Managers assume they will need to hire someone in the future so they put out a request for people, even though they do not have the go ahead from their bosses to hire someone. So they end up getting recruiters to contact them all of the time and may even schedule a tech screen with a candidate. Then if the candidate passes the manager goes to purse holder and they say "no funding." and that is that. I think it is a time-waster for managers who have nothing to do. Anyways, that is the reality of the job market. Though there are real open positions out there. I guess I should actually apply to those openings... Although with a promise of an offer already out there I wonder if I should...

Weight:271
Exercise: 25 minutes - elliptical

So what is going to become of me? Will I get a job? Will I get an offer this week? Will I continue to interview? Will the Boy Scouts want me to stay? Will I offer to work part time for them and full time for another company? Will I keep on working out? Will Holly stay at her current school? Will she get her master's at the end of this school year? Will there be a new family member in my future? If there is, should Holly continue to work? Will I go down a jeans size or two? Will my future kids read this blog? Will RideSearch 3.0 be released? Should I participate in the Plano Green fest this year? Should I place an ad in RTIR to get more radio interviews like I did before? Should we sell our cars and get junkers to pay off debts? Should we do the Dave Ramsey thing? Should I quit RideSearch? Should I quit the alternative board? Should I save some money to go to visit my sister in Australia? Should I get a permanent job that has vacation days? If I do go permanent should I bankrupt Motivium Inc. and its debt? Will that affect my personal credit? Should I stay contract and make more money or should I go perm and have longevity? Could I train some coworkers in my spare time? Could I make a class and teach people how to program? Should I pick up guitar again and write songs and sell them to Broadjam affiliates?

Stay tuned this year for the exciting answers to these questions... Or do you have the answers?

Weight: N/A
Exercise: 25 minutes elliptical

So, this weekend we learned some lessons. On Friday night I came home, got on the elliptical and watched the Texas Tech bowl game. I stayed on it for 30 minutes. Then I tried to cook turkey burgers on the grill but the burger meat was too soupy and the grill ended up finishing its gas. Needless to say we ended up at Chik-Fil-A for the evening. Then we came home and I watched Tech lose to a team they could easily beat. Why is it both of my teams, Tech and the Cowboys, have lost games they should have won to end the season? Anyways, no more football. Guess I'll have to wait until August.

On Saturday Holly had lunch with a friend at the Cheesecake factory. Saturday night Holly and I tried to make it a cheap date night. First there was Cici's pizza(round $13) then we went to the dollar movie($4) of course candy and water there cost $10. We could have gotten away without the candy and water so it is possible to get by on a date night for $17. The movie we saw was called the Changeling and was a true drama about a women who got the wrong kid back when hers went missing. It was actually really boring and long. The dollar theater was packed and had families taking their little kids to this R rated movie and had people speaking during the movie. I got a sense I was surrounded by the dregs of society. Holly said some guy sitting next to her was talking to himself and kept on looking down the aisle. But the movie is $2 a ticket. You get what you pay for. Later that evening we watched Star Wars IV at home with a RiffTrax. Peetey is going to have quiz Holly on what she learned.

Sunday afternoon we went to church and then to lunch with friends at Taco Cabana(round $15). Then we went to my first and last weight watchers meeting. I felt sorry for the people in there. About 90% of them look completely normal and don't need to be obsessed about their weight, as most people in there are. Naturally it was 90% women. I actually look like I need to be in there, they don't. My problem is I don't have as much concern for my outside appearance. I think my self-worth comes from what I do and not what I look like. Holly is taking the recipes. I think maybe she is going to attempt to cook them. Afterwards we went grocery shopping for the week and I ended up having hot dogs for dinner.

Can you guess the lessons learned? We learned that it is almost impossible not to eat out on the weekends. I think we both hit a point in our careers where we were thrilled not look at the price of menu items and we accepted eating out as the best thing to do in Dallas. The problem is menu choices. I always choose good tasting food like hamburgers and pizza. If I was at home I would make lean meat hamburgers and have turkey dogs. During the week I do well on my diet, except for guys night. So I know the problem. Now I just have to come up with a solution.

Weight - not available
Exercise - 30 minutes elliptical on Friday

Cue the Rocky theme song...
So I have started the next phase of my program - exercise. If you have been aware I am creating a diet plan that works. First I conquered breakfast. Then I conquered lunch. I am still conquering snacks. My next phase is to do the Pepper method of exercising. He lost 100lbs doing it. Basically I pick a TV show I would like to watch. His was Smallville, mine is going to be Lost. Since I have seen maybe 6 episodes of Lost I have years of watching to do. Then when I come home from work everyday I will pop in a dvd of Lost and watch one 45 minute episode. At which time I will get on the elliptical and run while I am watching it. Holly is helping with dinner. She got some weight watcher recipes that I supposedly will like. We are also going to limit our eating out together to 2 nights a months. All in all this should help and I will lose 100 pounds myself. To make it all interesting I will be posting my stats on here so my dear readers, you can help keep me accountable.

What is funny is when I got out of college in 1998 I weighed 155 and had a 32 inch waist. In 10 years I gained 116 pounds and 10 inches. I blame Dallas. Seriously. There are probably 20 restaurants per square mile around here. And some of the best food in the world. Burgers, steaks, brazillian, pizza, italian restaurants galore. Top that off with 100 degree summers where no one goes outside and you have couch potato city.

Current Weight: 271 lbs
Waist: 42inch
Exercise Done: 45 minutes elliptical, walked the dog

New Years is quite special for Holly and I. 3 years ago I asked her out for the first time at the stroke of midnight. 2 years ago I asked her to marry me at the stroke of midnight. See the video below for a walk down memory lane...



I still do the penny thing. Holly has now joined me in this tradition of taking a new penny, wrapping in tin foil and throwing it in the street at the stroke of midnight. We went to Rafain's Brazilian Churascura last night and had our final pig out meal before our resolutions kick in. It was goood. At midnight we threw our year away. On to 2009!