Currently I am working. Nights, weekends, weekday nights. I am hoping to be finished tomorrow. It's not that often that my codeslinging ability is used. A codeslinger is someone who can get done in 4 days what it should take 3 months to do. It requires alot of mental stress. To be able to visualize a matrix of solutions and pick the best one in a very short amount of time and then write thousands of lines of code quickly. Usually it is not the best solution, but as long as it works I can always say,"what do you expect for four days?" It is fun though. When I am in this mode as I look at the clock I want time to slow down because it all seems to go by too quick.

So this weekend was like this: baby, work, baby, work, work. My coding skills are required at the moment. Brennon also requires me too. I have uploaded a new folder to the images section when Brennons great granparents came to visit. Brennon actually did sleep through the night on Friday, from like 1AM to 8AM. That is impressive. I think he is getting around to switching his days and nights. Also I notice now that when I hold his feet he will push on them like he is trying to crawl. Technically he is not supposed to crawl until 7 months, but you never know. He loves to squirm. He also lost his grasshopper. Right now it looks like he has an outee belly button but I think it is a genetic thing and as he gets older it will become an innee.

Brennon also likes his carseat. So now we just leave him in it for the night. I think it is good in that it keeps him in a sitting position that is comfortable. However, in my research, car seat sleeping can cause his head to flatten requiring a helmet. But, so can sleeping on his back which is what nurses recommend. The rate of head flattening has increased dramatically in the last 10 years. I think really you just need to vary things up. Make sure his head is well-rounded ;-)

I can tell he has the Bass cheeks and Bass nose. When I look at my baby picture I see a lot of similiarities. However, he does have a bigger mouth that Holly nor I know where it comes from. He also likes to sleep and cry. When he cries I am at a loss. You run through the checklist - diaper, food, burp, cold, hot, and then you just try to rock him. Also, handing him off to mother can help as well. Holly reads him stories too. Her story reading skills are top notch, having read to kids for years. She does the voices rather well. It feels good being a family. There is nothing like having a wife and kid to come home to. How was your weekend?

I can't believe I slept through the night. I don't think Brennon did. Holly got up and took care of him. I think I like having the mom not working. It gives her time to take care of him, because we both know that it is alot of work. So the doctor told us to try to keep him awake during the day. I think we can do that. I figured out that by moving him when he gets tired will wake him up. Tickling his feet helps too. The doctor said Brennon is doing just fine. He told Holly if Brennon is straining too much to give him a little prune juice. Brennons umbilical cord still hasn't fallen off so we are now swabbing it with antiseptic. It looks like a little grasshopper attached to his belly. Eww. Anyways, he is still so cute.

I plan to do a photoshoot this weekend and upload more pics, although I do have to work on Saturday and Sunday. I am glad I do get paid for overtime even though I am on salary. That helps out. I am also glad I can work from home so it is not that bad. We are basically homebound anyways. At least one of us needs to stay home with the baby. I guess that is why I am watching more TV. We are also saving money in that we are not going out to eat on weekends. Some weekends we would spend at least $100 on food and fun. Now it is like, what's on TV?

We have also been very blessed this week in other ways. Our Sunday School class setup a Care Calendar for us. What that is is a calendar for friends to go to and sign up to bring us dinner. Don't worry, I told them all I don't like veggies. So every day this week someone has come over and brought us food. We've had lasagna and chicken fajitas and chicken spaghetti and boston market chicken. I think I have also lost some weight going to an all chicken diet. It does help because we don't have time to cook full fledged meals. Although I do have to admit, I was eating microwave pizzas for months so it is not that hard to prepare. That is a good benefit of belonging to a church, having a support group of people who care about you. To have a group of people do something for you when not asked is a testament of faith and friendship. Those are good things to have and we are very thankful. Everyone have a good weekend!

So it is official. I am an ole man. As I turned on The Wheel, or Wheel of Fortune, Holly says "how old are we?" Then later on in the evening after Jay Leno we kept it on NBC and watched the 10 o clock news. All I need to do is to keep it on the weather channel constantly and delve a little further into senile dementia. I kind of like having Leno on at 9. That way eventually I could go to bed at 10:30 and make my transformation complete. Now that I have a kid I could relive my youth vicariously through him.

Something I noticed though is that Conan has the same jokes as Leno. I wonder if they think it is a completely different audience. Since it is new TV week I started watching some new shows. The modern family seems to be funny. I think Ed O Niel is pretty funny, but he has aged alot. I wonder if he still plays squash with my sister's husbands father? Cougartown afterwords was like a bunch of women with boy toys. So I skipped that one. Even the new Monday comedy seemed to be more girl orientated, so I skipped that one too. I watched an episode of Glee the other day. That was interesting, but corny, and rather geared towards tweens as well. Then there are the new hospital dramas, mercy, which I will not watch. We started watching some cop show where the unsolved cases of Jane Doe's were researched by a ragtag group of misfits. It is totally unbelievable, so after a half an hour we flipped to Leno.

We did start on the new season of the Biggest Loser. This time there are alot more over 400 pound people. It still should be called the biggest cryer. If I ever auditioned for that show I would make sure to cry alot. I think I might tivo that Flash Forward show tonight. I still watch the Office and started watching Community cause any show with Chevy Chase should be funny. I guess when you have a baby and quit working on websites the only thing left to do is watch TV. That and taking care of the baby keeps us busy. What kind of shows do you like?

Wow, so at 4:30AM last night Brennon decided it was a good time to wail. His scream actually woke me up and caused me to feel jittery. Like I had adrenaline in me. Which in turn made it so it was 5:15AM when I finally got back to sleep. Holly, of course, had to deal with the screaming baby. So this morning as I got prodded awake at 9AM I then realized I was going to be late for work. Whenever I am dead tired alarms are nothing. So I didn't get to work until 9:45. I don't know if there will be repercusions cause I do get my work done ahead of time. I asked for mercy a couple of weeks ago. Let's hope I get it.

Brennon is getting louder. It is like he is straining to cry louder. His face will get red and he will act like he is doing the deed, but he doesn't and cries instead. We rub his tummy and put him in different positions. We go through the checklist and he is still crying. As a psuedo doctor my theory is that when he was given antibiotics for 7 days that destroyed the bacteria in the intestines which make digesting things harder. My prescription would be for probiotics to replenish him. But, he goes into his first pediatric appointment today so we will see what the doctor thinks.

So while I am in dreamland I have this weird dream. I dream that I forgot my house had a big basement and found it. I then went downstairs to the basement. Holly and I then realized we had alot of room in the house. So she proceeds to setup a bar in the living room. Then I question her and she is drunk. I tell her we don't have a liquor license and shouldn't be doing it. She then proceeds to count the money we made. At which point I get really mad at her and kick everyone out, except for the straggler who is in the bathroom and can't drive home. I then get mad at the straggler. I think my adrenaline had kicked in or something. It was a weird dream. Now that I think about it, wasn't that an episode of the Simpsons?

So here is the line: Brennon likes to sleep during the day and is up at night. He is a cutie though. To think that two weeks ago he was born. Wow, time flies. Right now it seems like he is on the half and half method of mom's milk and formula. He just eats too much for mom to supply it all. He is a growing boy. For me I am still tired even though I technically don't get up at 3 in the morning. However, I think I become conscious of crying and alot of activity at night. So I do fade in and out of sleep.

 

Supposedly I am now producing more estrogen and lower testosterone, something that happens to new fathers. I don't know about that but being big does also raise estrogen levels. That is why I am glad I have football to put me back to normal. As I was watching the games the other day I remembered playing football in junior high. I remember getting in a 3 point or 4 point stance and really hitting someone. There was this guy on our team who was a powerhouse called Brian Turnbow. I still remember him. He was a wild player and he did get hurt eventually because he was so wild.

 

Well in practice we have a drill called Head Ons, no not the product. There is one line for ball carriers and one line for tacklers. I am at the back of the tackler line and everyone calculates that I was to go against Brian T. So I hear for 15 minutes, oh you are going down. Naturally I am afraid. In a head on you get setup and the runner, in this case Brian T., is told to run forward and I was to tackle him head on. So the coach goes, set, hike, and hands the ball off to Bryan T. Well, what do I do? In a split second I close my eyes and rush at him and hit him in the perfect spot. With a loud crunch he falls backwards as I drill him into the ground and he stays there for like 15 seconds. Then I hear the proverbial words "Bass took down Turnbow!". I hear all of the players tell all of the other players. I hear the coaches tell the other coaches. All of a sudden I went from dud to stud. They handed me the ball and said, "let's see if you can play running back." And that is how I became a running back in Junior High.

 

I played one game as a running back. My first carry was for 5 yards but the coaches didn't like that I extended the ball. My next carry was for 2 yards. A 2 yard touchdown on a play called 28 stack 32 drive. They gave me the ball and I ran to the left of the center. I remember being at Memorial Stadium hearing "Brian Bass scores a touchdown." Even though we lost that game the next day on the school announcements they say "Brian Bass scored a touchdown." That was pretty cool. I probably would have stayed in football if the coaches were just less serious about it all, wanting us to practice twice a day during the summer. I just wanted to have fun. But Texas High School Football is a serious business. There's no fun in high school football just like there's no crying in baseball. I wonder what sport Brennon will play?

So this weekend was a baby weekend, as will probably be the next 2 years. We are trying to get some good sleep. I have done a pretty good job of it but Holly gets the brunt of most of the work. Last night I awoke to the dog barking. Princess seems to think that when the baby is crying she should be barking. However, she is getting more used to the baby.

I watched the football games this weekend. Texas Tech did ok even though we lost. I think we had a shot at winning but the UT team got away with alot of penalties. I blame the refs.

The Dallas Cowboys also had an interesting game. I was really surprised at how good our running game was and how bad Tony Romo is. I think we should find another quarterback. Also on defense that new Scandrick kept on missing easy tackles. I'd get rid of him too. If I were younger I'd go out for the quarterback of Dallas. I could do better than Romo. How was your weekend?

Well now we are adjusting to a baby. I now understand when they say they are a lot of work. Apparently little Brennon has day and night confused. He sleeps most of the day and is up most of the night. Holly is taking to the role of the mother rather well as she gets up to take care of him. Since I have to work it makes sense.

Now Brennon also takes after his dad by being a big eater. Right now he is kind of going back and forth from formula to milk. It is like he still is hungry. Testament to that is the big mess he always leaves behind ;-) And yes, yours truly does change diapers. I often wonder how such a small baby can make such a big mess. I have already found that wearing latex gloves and using hand sanitizer helps me separate from the mess. I think what gets people is when they open the diaper and they actually look at the entire mess. The reality is that you don't have to do that. The second after you untape the diaper you can use the top of it to start wiping downwards thereby restricting the view of such grossness.

Of course people tell me that it does get worse, but I think I will be able to handle it. Remember, I've got a scuba mask in the garage if things get bad. Even spit-up is just milk that fell out of his mouth. I think I can handle these messes from a baby, its when he turns into a toddler and kid that I will probably start freaking out. For now I am a diaper changing daddy and Brennon is poopin for a living.

Brennon is home and we are all glad, except maybe for Princess. So I worked yesterday morning and took off the afternoon to go to the hospital and pick him up as all his numbers are normal. We had to watch a baby CPR video before they released him. I think it was outdated cause it talked about doing mouth to mouth and I remember the AMA saying that chest compressions only work just as well. I remember taking CPR in high school during driving school. I don't think they do that nowadays.

I created a new album called Brennon Comes Home with the latest pictures. Holly did bake a cake ;-) So now begins the official parenting journey. First thing was to introduce Princess to him. Princess was wimpering and barking and was confused. I can tell she is a little jealous. On the bright side she is a good cry detector. That helps cause I am still searching for the power adapter to the baby monitor. On the bright side I have found a remote that I was missing for a month.

So last night was our first night. We keep Brennon in a bassinet next to our bed. Holly has to get up more cause she has the milk, something I cannot do. So Brennon crys alot. When we brought him home he had a diaper rash and they gave us some cream for it. So he might be crying becuase it hurts or because he is hungry or needs a change. Now I can't really hear him when I am asleep cause he is not that loud. But, I can hear Princess barking in the other room. So I think I was awake a little bit each time last night. Holly was probably getting up every two hours. Wow, I now understand why they say it is hard. But, he is so cool everything is worth it.

So Brennon is doing just fine. They quit doing tests on him. He just has to stay in the NICU until he is finished with his antibiotics. We think that will be Tuesday morning. It is still surreal to us. It is like sometimes I don't believe we had a child because he is not home. But other times when we are at the NICU we are so enamoured with him it unbelievable. The nurses have showed us how to change him and swaddle him. He is fun to hang around with already.

Holly is doing just fine. She is a pro at this all. I am doing great. It is a blessing. All this weekend we were at the NICU. I saw the first half of the Cowboy game at home and the second half in the waiting room. I think the boys have some stuff to work out. Like mainly tackling. Romo also looked a little sloppy except for his huge throws. It was a good win though and that will get us ready for the Gnats this next Sunday.

I added another album to our pictures. I took a little photo session yesterday called six days old. The cool thing about Phanfare is I can click publish to facebook and the album goes over there too. Also, since mom wants to see pictures and she never uses her computer I ordered prints for her and Phanefare will print them out and send them to her. Way too easy. Anyways, that's my weekend. How was yours?

Ah, so as the day settles down I think to myself. I am now a daddy. It was an amazing experience and it started with me all excited. So all day Monday this is on our minds. We go to Chili's for a last meal and then go home for me to finish packing my stuff since she is already packed. Given that we are supposed to go to the hospital at 9:30PM I had alot of energy. So when the hospital called and said to come in at 11PM we just waited a little bit more and watched Tommy Boy.

So off we go to the hospital. It was an easy drive and somehow didn't seem much like those emergency rides you see on TV. So we walk into the waiting room and there is Holly's mom. It was too bad she had to wait for so long since we didn't know she would be there, but it was a welcome surprise. Then we go to the birthing room and get Holly situated. She got her gown on and then it was a matter of waiting.

The nurse came in an was supposed to start the cytotec or some other kind of labor inducing drug. But when she examined her Holly was already at 3cm dilated and was already soft. The nurse paged the doctor and he said to forego the cytotec and wait until 5AM to start to pitocin. So they unplugged Holly and we both tried to get some sleep. They had a chair that folds into a bed that I stayed on. I had also brought my CPAP machine because I thought that labor was going to take like 24 hours. Holly meanwhile was having contractions even before they induced labor.

After getting about 2 hours sleep at 5AM they started Holly on an IV and at 5:30AM they started the pitocin. At 6AM the doctor came in an broke her water. Holly was still at 3cm. I talked to the nurse about when labor technically begins. She said it was when there is a recorded change in the dilation. At 9:15 the doctor checked her and Holly was at 4cm. The labor had officially begun. Holly was having some pains and it was a 7 out of 10 so they gave her the epidural.

After that things calmed down. I went to car and got some DVDs thinking this is going to take a while. So I pop in a MST3K Movie "Swamp Diamonds" and I dose off for an hour and even Holly falls asleep. The doctor came in at 11 and said Holly was a 7cm. I was like, awesome, that means that it'll happen this afternoon. So Holly and her mom told me to go get some lunch and bring it back. So I went down and got some sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies. As I go back Holly doesn't want me eating in the room so me and her mom go to waiting room to eat. At 12:30pm as I was almost finished with my ham and turkey sandwich the doors barge open. "Is Brian Bass here?" "That's me" "It's time!" "What's time?" "Time to have the baby." "Awesome!"

So I jump up from my meal and follow the nurse into the birthing room. They hand me a smock and have me stand next to Holly. They asked if I wanted to watch and I said yes, because I am much braver now. So the nurse is checking on Holly's progress alot. The doctor it seems was called in on his lunch break. Now if you ask me the reason why he would step out of the room was to get a bite out of his sandwich. So like every 5 minutes he would come in to see the progress.

Now during this time they are holding Holly's legs to a squatting position. I even help them hold Holly's legs. The nurse counts to 10 three times for each contraction. All the while I am saying it with her and moving my hand rather energetically. "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10" Woohoo, Your doing good! I grab a towel and wipe down Holly's forehead as her adrenaline is giving her a rush. I mean, Holly was most excellent. To me it seemed like she was a pro at giving birth.

During this the doctor takes a scalpel and has to free up some room for the baby's head to get out. I see the blood and think, ouch. So finally the doctor is like "Are you ready daddy? Grab your camera. Do you want to cut the cord?" Now the old me would have been like,"no way" but the new me is practically fearless "sure thing". I see the doctor say "He almost there. He's almost there. This is it." and he grabs a little yellow suction cup with a string attached to it and puts the cup on the baby's head. And out pops baby.
"Congratulations!"
"Woo hoo! You did it Holly!"
They grab a suction thing and start removing fluid out of the baby's mouth. They get the cord in place and hand me scissors. I cut the cord in two snips and am getting "congrats." I am on cloud 9. There he is, my son.

So they bring him over to the table and start cleaning him off. Meanwhile I am snapping picture after picture. I am getting everything. It was amazing. This was not a gross thing. This a beautiful thing. After they dry him off and weigh him they give him to Holly and they look at each other. I am smiling ear to ear. I am still intoxicated with happiness some 6 hours later.

The birth of Brennon Graham Bass will be a moment I will never forget. And now he is here. He looks and even acts so much like me I am beaming. It is hard to describe. It is like a part of me is now living in this world that is innocent and pure. Like I have a very instant connection with him, like all of a sudden, a new person to love is here. I just can't help it. Love at first sight is rare in the world, but in birth, it must be common cause I've got it. Woohoo!

Tick tock... It is the beginning of the big day. I am super excited. Tonight at 9:30PM we go in to get induced. I am still wondering about the logistics. All I know is I will be prepared. I wonder why they do it at 9:30 at night? I think it takes a while to induce. I was talking to someone and they said they start to give her the inducing drugs at the night and if it doesn't progress they break the water in the morning and then the labor will speed up. I think it will probably be Tuesday. I do wonder what I am going to do. I mean will she be awake all night and likewise me? Do I need some caffeine or will it be something like, Ok get ready cause the big show happens tomorrow so I should sleep. I guess all of these questions will be answered. I am very good at adapting to different circumstances. It is a cool experience. It kind of feels like Christmas and getting a present. Do I hear the stork on the roof?

Ok, this morning I awoke excited and I have to say I will probably be this way for a while. I can't wait to see what is in store for us. I am thrilled and overjoyed just at the thought at having a son. I am ready, willing and able to do the job. It is going to be fun. It is going to be an adventure. Today I have already chatted with all of my coworkers. It is weird. It is like I am becoming more friendly and am very happy. I think my gaurd has been up for a while and is now falling.

Even though the CBT therapy is now over I gained some insight into myself. I am now cognitive. For one, she detected a chemical depression and diagnosed me with moderate depression. It was mostly chemical but the ridesearch failure did have something to do with it. So she gave me zoloft and now I am like no longer lethargic nor anxious. I haven't had heartburn in a while and panic attacks are way in the past. I actually feel like a normal person. I am ready and willing to workout, serve the Lord, play guitar, play with my kid, and be a good husband and father. It is hard to describe. Like I no longer just want to sleep all of the time. Most of the verbal therapy was kind of useless cause I never did what she suggested but I was able to take from it the tool of visual imagary to calm myself. Why didn't I listen to her suggestions? Well, she looked at me and said,"I have become your mother haven't I" and I was like, well, I have never liked being told what to do by anyone and it probably started with her. So we both came to the conclusion that I was going to have to figure out a diet and exercise plan that works for me.

I think I have had depression for most of my life and I just never realized it cause I didn't know I wasn't supposed to not have energy, feel tired and lethargic and not want to do anything. I was always called lazy so I just told myself I am lazy. Reality is, I had been depressed from a very young age, probably starting from the divorce or even neglect before then. She also helped me let go of my childhood. Apparently I was harboring alot of anger towards everyone, with good reason, but it is not needed now. So I packed it all in a box and gave it away to God. That was very freeing. I had a breatkthrough. I never realized it, but I see it now. It is like there was always something in the back of my mind saying "I am angry at everyone, so I am going to be mad and do things out spite. I am right and the world is wrong." I basically repressed a lot of emotions and it affected alot of my personality and ego. So now I do feel like a new person. It is cool.

When I was in high school my personality test type said I was an introvert. I took it the other day and it now says I am an extrovert. I have definitely changed. But, enough about me. I am through with me. The reason why I reveal such things is that my behaviour is common in others and I now want to help others. If you find yourself avoiding people, wanting to sleep, not happy, stressed and obsessed about work and life then you may have depression. The way the therapist described it is it goes in waves from happy to sad and the peaks get higher and lower as time goes on, so if you don't do something about it it may get worse in the future. You don't even have to see a shrink. Just tell your regular doctor about things and they may prescribe you something. Its time to be honest with yourself and with others. I now do not feel ashamed about taking zoloft. Matter of fact it is like that head and shoulders commercial. "But you don't have depression." "I know."

So now I am ready. I am going to be a father. A good father. I will always be there for my child. I will provide, protect and most of all, love. I will guide him and teach him. I will put God first in our household. I will teach him how Jesus died for our sins. He will grow up in a loving household. He will have parents that actively participate in his life. We will go to church and learn from spiritual leaders. I will teach him liberty and how we are free in Christ. I will teach him the value of friendship, how to work technology, and other fun stuff. It will be great. A new person. A blessing. Thanks be to God for this miracle of life. Next time I post, Brennon will be here.

Tick tock. Baby is scheduled and penciled in for Holly to go into the hospital at 9:30PM on Labor day to begin the inducing. I think it is nice to schedule, however she could go into labor before then. When I think about the situation I just think how tremendously cool it is going to be. Sure there are some fears and worries, but I am always an optimist. I will update this blog, send out an email and post pictures once it is all done.

As I think to my future son his life has yet to be written. He could even live to see the 22nd century - 2100. At that point he would be 91, an age that some Basses do reach. What is his journey going to be. I will affect it for the first 18 years, but what about the next 82 years? I joked with Holly that he could be a politician because his name was even voted on before he was born. But who knows?

An interesting thing though is that my life could easily revolve around my kids. For some people it revolves around work or money and I think that is terrible, as when you retire there will be nothing for your life to revolve around. I've never actually let that happen as my after work activities are more interesting. Like I have been playing Farmville on Facebook and weirdly get a sense of acheivement when I get to the next level. Also this photography bug is pretty cool. Today I was looking at the first color photograph done in the 1800's. It is like time is standing still. Also, I am even working on another website and am getting far. I will release that when it is ready. So my life is interesting. Oh yeah, the foot doc gave me a weird bandage to put on my foot that supports the arch and a anti-inflammitory pack. Today I get to take a record of 14 pills. And people say I don't eat salads...

So I went for a followup on Monday morning at 8 at the doctors and he said the xrays showed I have a heel spur on my left foot. I am glad that I have an appointment with a podiatrist with the hope that he can cure this pain. Next to a nurse and a dentist that is probably the worst job to have. I really can't stand feet. I suppose because it is the farthest away from the head and receives less attention than anything. Also I am very ticklish in that department. Last time I got a massage the lady went for my feet and I giggled and she couldn't do them. I wonder if that is what is going to happen today. This morning as I put on a sock with a hole in it, I thought, well too late to change now.

As the baby is approaching an issue has come up at work about time. I am constantly late by 5-15 minutes and its not my fault and we all wonder what having a baby is going to do with my sleep. Why is it not my fault? Well, when you have severe obstructive sleep apnea, a noisy CPAP machine and bad hearing you just can't hear alarms. As I was thinking about it and the fact that I have been like this all my life I had to come a weird conclusion. Sleep Apnea is a disibility. People have won ADA cases involving sleep apnea before and as I looked it up on the net I found that it is even easier to prove because the ADA laws were changed as of January 1st,2009 to include conditions which have treatments. People whose CPAP machines fail to help have even gotten Social Security Disability. It is interesting.. because according to the ADA I can request reasonable accomodations, like maybe 15 minutes leeway. However, I don't think I will because a firm rule in any business is don't rock the boat and I am not a boat rocker.

Really it is just an excuse for getting in late. It may be a good excuse with some legal ramifications, but I should try to stop doing it for the sake of everything. But on the other side I have tried so many things before that I know I will be still coming late and I have to admit it. So I go back and forth with this and proceeded to just tell them,"Have mercy on me. It is hard because of sleep apnea." and that is all. I often think though that I am way too paranoid and insecure about any job. I have been around jobs for 10 years that end just like that with no moments notice and no regard to skill or performance. So I am always insecure and am always preparing myself for anything. I think though, I should just relax and quit worrying about everything. That's good advice for us all.