So it is a bit freaky. As I learned more about this Joe Stack guy I find that we are too similiar. That really irks me. Apparently he was an independant software contractor that set up 2 companies and declared himself CEO. Funny, I did the same thing. He also was a musician in a band. Funny, I did the same thing. He had a blog and websites. I have the same thing. He also had political viewpoints that could not be pegged down. Funny, I have the same thing (not same viewpoints, but I can't be labeled as any member of any party). So the fact that he snapped kind of leads me to wonder if I am capable of snapping. I think the answer could be yes and that is scary. So I have set out to figure out why he snapped and make sure I prevent it.

He was a logical computer programmer who played an instrument. I have met many programmers who play music. It is something about our brains that can tie the linear progression of notes to the linear progression of code. It is like being able to tell what the next note should be because you heard the previous progression. We can figure out the next line of code in a similiar fashion. Over the years our minds become programs themselves. It is the common sense of predicting events in sequence and the ability to do it on a massive scale that makes a top notch programmer. Our brains are logical. Our brains are also egocentric - that powers our minds to have the will to perform the logic. We have the power to make changes in a set of real life events that makes a difference. It is like you are a creator, an inventor and eventually a powerful leader. So the fact that someone who is in a logical profession can do that begs me to answer the question: why?

The first illogical part of the story is what he did: burned his house down and flew a plane into a building. That is the output. What is the input? Well in his manifesto he talks about how he had struggles with the man from the early 80s. The law he is referring to caused many corporations to fire independant contractors and hire employees, thereby getting rid of his easy paying job. So he had a major gripe about that. To this day independant contractors typically work for only 6 months at a time, otherwise it is worth it to hire an employee to do the job. I think the crux of the input was losing his power and money. A man who loses money and power and loses the ability to change how his life unfolds can become very unstable. It is like that movie "falling down". A man can't take losing his power and money and he snaps.

In his situation Joe was audited. The manifesto said it was lack of declaring $14K in undocumented income that made him snap, but that is probably not all of it. I can read between the lines. He probably had over $100K in penalties. All his retirement and assets were about to be liquified to pay his tax bill. His ego made him hide this from his friends and family. He also could have been up for jail if he didn't pay his penalties. Joe didn't fall down, he was justifiably pushed down by the man and his ego and delusions made him not take responsibility for his actions. It said he used his manifesto as a therapy note and updated it many times. I know exactly what he means as I do the same thing. When you write you go over and over what you write and determine if what you are writing is logical. So in his manifesto at the tail end of it, he had probably changed it not that many times. Finally at the end of his rope he couldn't hang on and typed some rhetoric and his death date. His post was complete. His delusion was complete and he became psychotic. He thought he could take his power back if he martyrd himself.

Now that I think about it I am definitely different. For instance when my car was stolen I decided to drive around and look for it. I went through paranoia scenerios where someone was watching me get into my car and recording the key signature to steal it. I went through a scenerio where someone who viewed my old house found a spare key, researched where I work and went and stole the car. So I went to the old house with a bbgun just in case the theif was there. I went through scenerios where someone was mad at me for my job and wanted to get back at me. How could someone steal from ME? I must punish him! Finally I calmed down. I accepted the enevitable. They didn't want me. They wanted my car. So life goes on and I deal with it. That is the correct output. I didn't snap. Joe could have thought - they don't want me, they want my money and accepted it. Instead 24 years of a grudge got to him. His mind was no longer sane. Now that I think about it. I have no grudges against anyone. Sure we may have a similiar brain type, but that is it. My program in my mind is just fine. His program should have been deleted a long time ago.